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lisa29boo · Jan 26, 2009, 01:04 PM

Could you give me the basic signs of a husband who may be cheating or interesrted in someone else. Could you explain the midlife crisis men go through and how long it lasts

450donn · Jan 26, 2009, 03:37 PM

What makes you suspect he is cheating on you?

mum2five · Jan 26, 2009, 03:45 PM

Your mans behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mans habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.

But I think what you should be doing is sitting down and talking to him !

lisa29boo · Feb 3, 2009, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by 450donn

What makes you suspect he is cheating on you?

Well I checked his phone bill by accident because its in my name and I see calls to one of my best friends constantly day and night. He would hide his phone so I could not find it in case she called. If he had the phone and she rang he would not answer it when I was there. He laid day in and day out about thingsz that had to do with her. He stuck up for her on anything I had to say about her. I caught them kisssing in my own house and he stuck up for her and said mit was all he's fault he kissed her and don't no why. He said he wasn't attractive to her but did not come home a couple of times. Both times he was in her town at her friends house. There are still lyes he has not admitted to and I feel I can't go own loving him with this feeling in my heart. I have been with him for 15 years andI know what he is doing next before he does it. We see her and when we left she thought I was outside and said Im love you and he said it back. It hurt me but thinks its me over reacting what do you think I'm I over reacting. I told him to chose call her and tell her not to call him anymore if she needed she could call me. I told him if he did not I was leaving with our daughter for good he still would not call her. I feel like maybe its me and I'm losing my mind. I love him and know there was some kind of attraction. He would talk to mher about our promblems but would nit talk to me about them. Any ionput with help my confused mind

Jake2008 · Feb 3, 2009, 08:05 PM

I would usually say that sometimes it is easy to think things are suspicious, when they're not. Especially when there is little 'evidence' so to speak, and it is all guessing.

But, in your case, clearly, in my opinion, he is up to something. Think about it. He hides his phone, calls a woman day and night, you have witnessed him not only kissing her, but her telling him she loves him, and he tells her he loves her! That is not something you have made up in your mind. Those are very real things you have experienced.

You are not crazy, and what you see is what you see.

15 years is a long time to invest in a marriage. It is not impossible to get past an affair, or infatuation one partner has had with another outside of the marriage, but, both parties have to be willing to come clean, and get counselling.

Once trust has been broken, it is very difficult to get back. Again that is only my opinion, but, you deserve to know the truth, and if he is not willing to make an effort to keep the marriage together, you have some tough decisions to make.

Have faith in yourself, and trust your instincts. Him telling you that you are over-reacting is nonsense.

Crista · Feb 5, 2009, 02:54 AM

You caught them kissing! Do you go out kissing his friends and say oops, I don't know why I just kissed your friend... Hmmm, maybe you should and see his reaction? He would probably be upset.

The obvious is hard to ignore and cheaters usually always get caught, sooner or later. Since he has a "girlfriend" I believe you should be aloud to have a "boyfriend." It's only fair.
I caught my husband at all these porn sites and was livid. Finally, I calmed and started going on porn for woman. He didn't like that one bit! Go figure? Why is it okay for the men but not for us ladies?

Well, I said if your going to go on porn, I will too! It's only fair!
Well, he ceased and understood what it felt like to have his spouse interested else where.

learnintolikeme · Feb 10, 2009, 08:01 AM

What does your best friend say?
What do you put into the word best?
I feel for you, this is a horrible situation.
It is even harder to mke a decision when feeling like this s you should maybe take your daughter and go to a relative or friend for a few days to think things over. Clear your head. He will then either have to contemplate losing you or leaving you for this so called friend. If you accept this it will not get any easier they will just find ways of meeting without you knowing and your life will be hell.

proudpole48 · Feb 11, 2009, 09:29 AM

Well you obviously don't need to know the signs anymore being you caught them in the act.
Whatever you do not blame yourself for this or think that it was something you did or didn't do. Guys are not smart enough to keep stuff hidden and there is a very good chance that this is/was only sexual-not that it may make you feel any better knowing that.

I would talk to your friend 1st she might be the more honest of the 2, good luck.