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kaspej · Jan 24, 2009, 04:55 PM

Hi,

I am very confused right now. I had been in a relationship for about one year. In the beginning this person was completely candid with me and told me they suffered from MS, OCD and two years previously had suffered from a about of clinical depression, whereby they tried to kill themselves and ended up in a ward and underwent therapy. This made me look for any signs of this reoccurring, but saw none. Things were going well, at 5 months in they told me they loved me and a month later, I told them the same. I saw no signs of any problems and we never had an argument and always had a great time together.

Nine months into the relationship, things became very stressful (not between us but outside forces) due to me being laid off, them suffering from another medical condition (which was ultimately corrected by surgery) and one of their family members undergoing a medical crisis. One night towards the end of month eleven, when we were planning to spend the weekend together, they called and said they were on their way down. They never showed. The next day, they called and I was told that they could not see me. I asked if we were breaking up and they said no, I love you, but I am so sick of being sick and so depressed that I need to be alone and away from everyone. I told them that I could respect this but that we needed to stay in touch (keeping the suicide attempt in my mind) and they agreed – they did continue to see their doctor. We spoke nearly every day – lots of crying on their part, ending each call by each of us saying we love you.

Towards the end of month 12 – after being apart for one month, they told me they wanted to come down to my place. When they arrived, it was obvious that the additional anti-depressants prescribed were causing them to be somewhat out of it. We kissed and hugged and said we missed and loved each other. While we were out at dinner, they zoned out at one point and when I snapped them out of it they asked me three times over the next 15 minutes if the soda in their hand was theirs. We went back to my place for awhile and they told me that they would come back tomorrow and stay the rest of the weekend.

The next day they called and asked if I could pick them up. I arrived :confused:and they acted as if they did not know why I was there. They were becoming agitated, so I left. Since then, I have received no calls from them and my calls went unanswered. I now consider us not going out anymore, even though this was never said. I spoke to mutual friends and was told that they are out doing things and appear normal and were told that this person told them that I was told we were through and we had not seen nor spoke to each other in two months! Additionally, they denied that they were ever at my place at the end of month 12. Is this a severe state of depression or something far worse?

artlady · Jan 24, 2009, 05:00 PM

There is a condition known as psychotic depression and the description you have given correlates to that.
Below is a link I think will find useful.

Psychotic Depression - Hallucinations and Delusions

kaspej · Jan 24, 2009, 06:07 PM

Thanks Artlady,

Friends say they appear to be fine at the moment, but this may explain some things. I never noticed anything out of the ordinary and like I said this came on as if someone threw a switch. I tried to be understanding - talking to some friends who have suffered from depression and read about it on-line. It is so sad as I really fell in love with this person and they with me (in fact they told me first and were a little upset that I did not say it until a month later). It feels more like the person I knew died and I am having a difficult time coming to terms with it. A previous poster suggested I may have been played, but if you could have seen her zombified state the day I went to pick her up, you would not think so and for what purpose?

Thank You

artlady · Jan 24, 2009, 06:23 PM

Hello again kaspej,

Sometimes meds can work against the intended result. This could be a conflict with medication. Of course this is all speculation but given the previous medical history ,it is the one thing that seems to stand out.

If this person is playing you and acting ill to create a break in the relationship that in itself is kind of suspect.Well people do not play that sort of game.Usually.

It all sounds very odd and the only way to truly know what is going on is to ask.The people who told you that she seems fine may have a vested interest to be less than honest with you.

You may wan to rethink this relationship as it appears as if there will always be some sort of emotional roller coaster and that is very difficult to live with in the long term.

I would ask and see for yourself what is happening.If this person wants a break ,tell them your concerns that some of their behavior contradicts that.You have a right to know where you stand.

Best of luck.. Michele

kaspej · Jan 24, 2009, 06:34 PM

Hi Artlady (Michele),

They did not have many friends when I met them and the people that have seen them are my friends which I introduced them to, so I believe what they are telling me. I know for a fact they have MS and all the other conditions as they had to give an injection and showed me the other meds early in the relationship. I know I was somewhat annoyed at the frequency the doctors just handed out more medication and did consider interations with their other meds. Unfortunately, I am not able to keep in touch with them and do consider the relationship over. But as I said previously, it feels as if the person I fell in love with died. I am asking my friends to keep an eye on them. I am very sad but cannot blame this person as I really feel that what happened is beyond their control at the moment. I just wanted to try to understand the situation more before I put this episode in my life past me.