[verbattered52]

My husband is verbally abusive, disrespectful, and degrading to me in public. He doesn't care if it is people he works with, our friends, his family, or total strangers. How do I deal with this? I have tried to tell him his behavior is hurtful, "but if I was not so stupid, he wouldn't have to talk to me like a child.":mad::confused::confused:

[Wondergirl]

Is this a new thing? When did it begin?

[verbattered52]

It has been going on since I had a back injury and became disabled. I no longer make big bucks! He will not allow me to buy a $5 item without asking him. Control and greed

[Wondergirl]

Everything was fine before your injury? No abuse at all?

[Fr_Chuck]

If he starts, correct him right there, don't let him do it and get away with it

[verbattered52]

He had developed a tendency to lie and use me to make himself look good a couple of years prior to the accident. But by no means as cruel as he is now. I used to ignore him, but now I say something back about him being rude, or tell him if he doesn't stop it, I will remove myself from the situation. Now I am p-----! I want some comebacks and I want to let him have it.

PS I agree! Go, Obama!

[Wondergirl]

He had developed a tendency to lie and use me to make himself look good a couple of years prior to the accident.

Apparently, he has raised the bar on making himself look good, and is outdoing himself with cruelty.

How dependent are you physically on him?

[verbattered52]

Very little. He wouldn't be there for me anyway. A friend had to take me to have the surgery "because he didn't want to miss work." I was out on pain medication for three days immediately after, and he remembered to feed and water the dogs, but not me.

[Wondergirl]

Very little. He wouldn't be there for me anyway. A friend had to take me to have the surgery "because he didn't want to miss work." I was out on pain medication for three days immediately after, and he remembered to feed and water the dogs, but not me.

Would he give you money for a few counseling sessions?

[verbattered52]

No, but his insurance is VERY good, and I have an appointment next week.

[Wondergirl]

No, but his insurance is VERY good, and I have an appointment next week.

Oh, goody, goody! He may be asked to come in for a session or two. Would he?

[LAMBCHOPS]

Get out, now.
Trust me.
It will get worse.

[ja77]

Communication
Communication
Communication

You need to tell your husband straight that the way he is treating you and talking to you is 100% not on and you are not going to put up with it or him acting the way he does.

"but if I was not so stupid, he wouldn't have to talk to me like a child."

You need to let him no that you two are married and equals in this relationship and that he is not your master.

I know it is hard but you need to really stand up to this or you could find things just get worse.

[ja77]

I would get the police involved with this. It seems to me like he is very controlling, mis- understanding, and doesn't care about your particular needs. If you cannot leave his side--- make him drink and then he will be much more calm. I don't mean to be rude and cruel in this "drinking" situation, but it always worked with my dad whenever he got testy!

I do not want to give you a RED but NO - No and NO NO NO again :confused:

Please do not start him drinking.

[artlady]

There is never any excuse or justification for verbal abuse.It is just as painful as a slap across the face.

It is a violation of marriage vows and an insult to the integrity of you and your union.

If he is trying to embarrass you in public ,he is actually making a fool out of himself.The next time he pulls a stunt in public I would ask his audience *Isn't it wonderful the way my husband speaks to me*?
Hopefully someone will answer and speak in your defense.

Below is a link I think you must read. Do not ever accept this kind of treatment,it has a tendency to escalate.

Intimate Partner Abuse Screen

[verbattered52]

The drinking suggestion is appreciated but not practical. This man is a recovering alcoholic and has not drank in about ten years. He and liquor were not pretty!
Getting out is all well and good, but I am 52 years old with major back pro blems.
As far as him going with me to a therapists, he has gone to two different therapists with me. He put on a show for a female therapists, and I was just a lazy . With a male therapists, he was very verbal and irate with therapists, and me. He would make up lies, grit his teeth, and yell at us both. Therapist said he was a woman hater.

[verbattered52]

I really want to thank each of you for your support!

[Wondergirl]

The drinking suggestion is appreciated but not practical. This man is a recovering alcoholic and has not drank in about ten years. He and liquor were not pretty!
Getting out is all well and good, but I am 52 years old with major back pro blems.
As far as him going with me to a therapists, he has gone to two different therapists with me. He put on a show for a female therapists, and I was just a lazy . With a male therapists, he was very verbal and irate with therapists, and me. He would make up lies, grit his teeth, and yell at us both. Therapist said he was a woman hater.

So what did the therapists suggest you do?

[verbattered52]

The woman suggested I show more appreciation and do things to please him. The man told me to go to a safe house.

How do I add picture to my profile? Is it possible to IM on this site or are there group discussions? You have been so good to me. Thank you

[Wondergirl]

The woman therapist said THAT?? Good grief!! I hope you spit in her eye!

My Profile -> Your Control Panel -> Settings & Options -> Edit Photo.

The rest should be easy if you have ever downloaded a photo before.