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123qwe · Jan 21, 2009, 12:40 PM

My ex is not allowed to see our children right now per a protective order that is in place. Once the judge makes his decision about visitation, if my ex is allowed to take the children over night, what do I have to supply? Is he legally required to provide everything needed for their care while they are with him? Can I refuse to send the children if he does not have his own car seats? I know that if he takes the children without car seats I can call the police as soon as he pulls away, but I would prefer to not even give him that much of a chance. I am afraid that anything I send will not come back or will come back in an unusable condition. I fear for my children going with him, but if the judge orders it, I am obligated to do it.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2009, 01:07 PM

You can refuse to allow them to go unless he has proper car seats.

** To be honest don't expect the police to do much about the car seats if you call them, they will write you off as a hateful ex. Plus to be honest I stopped a car before and my Sgt came up and would not even let me write a ticket for it, just give them a warning.

So merely inform him "ahead of time" that he will need proper car seats to pick up the children

stevetcg · Jan 21, 2009, 01:22 PM

You are required to provide nothing except the clothes on their back. He is their parent... if he cannot manage to take care of them he shouldn't be getting visitation.

this8384 · Jan 21, 2009, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

You are required to provide nothing except the clothes on their back. He is their parent... if he cannot manage to take care of them he shouldn't be getting visitation.

I have to partially disagree, Steve. We ask my husband's ex-wife to send along clothes on the kids' visitation weekends because quite frankly, it's pointless to have clothes at our house when we only see the children a few days a month; they grow out of them before they get any type of wear on them.

Granted, we wash the dirty clothes and send them back the next weekend; if the OP's ex isn't the way we are then I can see why she's hesitant to send anything. But us asking her to send clothes doesn't mean we can't provide for the kids; it just means it's more logical this way.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2009, 01:49 PM

I do even more personally, my ex sends all of my sons clothes to my house and I do his laundry and sends it back,
But I have one son, if you send any clothes to his mothers home, you would never see it again.
So if you can't trust him to give the clothes back, you may have to even have him sign for all items given to him

stevetcg · Jan 21, 2009, 01:50 PM

Originally Posted by this8384

I have to partially disagree, Steve. We ask my husband's ex-wife to send along clothes on the kids' visitation weekends because quite frankly, it's pointless to have clothes at our house when we only see the children a few days a month; they grow out of them before they get any type of wear on them.

Granted, we wash the dirty clothes and send them back the next weekend; if the OP's ex isn't the way we are then I can see why she's hesitant to send anything. But us asking her to send clothes doesn't mean we can't provide for the kids; it just means it's more logical this way.

While it SHOULD work that way, as far as I can find, there is no legal obligation to provide anything.

I agree with you and the reasoning but logic frequently does not prevail in domestic instances such as this.