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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #21

    Mar 4, 2009, 01:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alder View Post
    So you define the word "advertising" to include an answer that says, "I need more information to be able to answer your question. I realize it's very personal, you can send the information privately as you prefer"?

    I would never have understood the word "advertising," as people normally use that word, to describe such a suggestion. However, now that I know better, I won't.

    I wasn't sure, Scott, are you the person on this site who makes/enforces the rules and terms of service?
    First, I used the advertising to deal with your previous examples. Your example above is different. Since most people here are anonymous, meaning that there is no connection to their real identity unless they want there to be, there really isn't a need to worry about information being personal. But the real problem is that once someone solicits offline contact, we have no idea what they are doing. We don't know if there is a genuine desire to help or they are looking to sell something or otherwise take advantage. Between the prohibition against advertising and the description of PMing, we cover those eventualities.

    The owners of this site make the rules. The moderators, of which I am one of a few, help in making the rules and we interpret and enforce them. As Chuck pointed out, you have had this explained to you already. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt by responding to your inquiries. But the bottomline here is those are the rules.
    Alder's Avatar
    Alder Posts: 342, Reputation: 71
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    #22

    Mar 4, 2009, 03:49 PM

    Guys, I want to apologize if anything I said here came across as argumentative or confrontational. Such was not my intention. AMHD is a great site, and I'm glad I've found it. It is a great container for free exchange of information. And I very much realize that this site could not work without moderators who are willing to put in a lot of their own time in keeping it on track. I am grateful to you all and appreciative of what you do.

    The policy goals of the rule discussed in this thread are very good ones, both that we encourage public sharing of information that anyone with a web browser can tap, and that we protect questioners (many of whom are minors) from inappropriate requests for personal contact.

    Fr. Chuck, in particular, I do want to thank you for bringing this issue to my attention. I admit that in skimming through the FAQ when I first found this site, I didn't give much thought to the parameters of the line that questions that can be posted as a thread should not be done by PM, or what that might mean. I don't take offense over the warning. Like I said, I agree with the policy and I will encourage it in my own posts and comments.

    Blessings to you all.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #23

    Mar 4, 2009, 04:39 PM

    Lets say for example Alder, that your reason to get them off board is to offer them a 3 dollar a minute reading, or to sell them some skin lightening product, or some get rich scheme, we have those that do that each week. So often some restrictions have to be used for everyone's own protection

    I often get forwarded copies of some of the PM, you would just never believe what happens behind the scenes at times
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
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    #24

    Oct 11, 2009, 09:12 AM

    So the infraction I received for requested offline contact was unfounded and unnecessary,I had personal information I was willing to share with the poster,not to be made public due to embarrassment and whatnot.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #25

    Oct 11, 2009, 11:56 AM

    I'm still not clear on the PMing rules. As the AMHD Job Coach, I do my best to advise people who come here for resume and cover letter and other writing help. I also do my best to keep the question on the board, because it may help others with similar concerns.

    If someone PMs or emails his resume to me which contains so much personal information, would I be wrong to help him and continue that kind of off-site correspondence? I've been helping people with resumes, etc. since 1985 and have never charged anyone online for my services. (I do charge the real-life clients.)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #26

    Oct 11, 2009, 06:38 PM

    And I get requests for very specific legal information - or research. I tell people I cannot answer off the Board, partly for insurance purposes.

    One of my concerns with any off line help is whether AMHD is responsible for the correctness of the advice (AMHD being the connection between the two parties); another is that no one learns anything if the advice is given off line; another is that the OP has no idea that the person he/she is asking for advice may not be the most qualified or experienced - or may not just have a screw loose.

    OP's in many cases tend to hear only what they want to hear and I see people who should not be doing counselling or giving legal advice doing just that on a regular basis - these are the people the OP would rely on.

    ?
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #27

    Oct 12, 2009, 03:36 AM

    The only off-line advice I have given is to track down dog shelters or rescues in the OP's area.
    I get them to PM me their location and I then find a shelter for them... there is no right or wrong with that answer it's just better for them not to post their state in the public forum.

    I recently saw a post by someone where the OP requested to PM another member to talk to them about her situation... now there was no personal information, it's just that the OP liked this persons answer the best... What do you do in that situation?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #28

    Oct 12, 2009, 04:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    The only off-line advice I have given is to track down dog shelters or rescues in the OP's area.
    I get them to PM me their location and I then find a shelter for them... there is no right or wrong with that answer it's just better for them not to post their state in the public forum.

    I recently saw a post by someone where the OP requested to PM another member to talk to them about her situation... now there was no personal information, it's just that the OP liked this persons answer the best... What do you do in that situation?

    And this is EXACTLY my problem - the fact that the OP "likes" a specific person's advice the best, a specific person says what the OP wants/needs to hear, does NOT make the advice correct. I've seen horrendous advice, again on the legal boards, which would get a person literally arrested and/or sued accepted and the person giving the advice THANKED - meanwhile, others who have posted the Law get criticized because the OP doesn't like the correct advice.

    And that's what makes me nervous when a discussion goes off the Board -

    Of course, anyone can look at a profile and PM. Question is what happens (also) when you GET that PM?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #29

    Oct 12, 2009, 04:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    The only off-line advice I have given is to track down dog shelters or rescues in the OP's area.
    I get them to PM me their location and I then find a shelter for them... there is no right or wrong with that answer it's just better for them not to post their state in the public forum.
    I disagree. There is nothing wrong with posting their state or general area. I list LI, NY as my location. That covers a wide geographic area populated by several million people. Even listing a large metropolitan area is not a problem. Often, we need to know the general location to provide an accurate answer. If someone lists only a state, one can respond with locations throughout the state and let them pick what is closest to them.

    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    I recently saw a post by someone where the OP requested to PM another member to talk to them about her situation... now there was no personal information, it's just that the OP liked this persons answer the best... What do you do in that situation?
    You tell the OP that the rules of this site call for questions to be asked in the public forums and that you will be happy to answer their question there. If they want to make sure you see their question they can PM you a link to it. But don't answer the question privately, unless the answer would involve very specific locations.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #30

    Oct 12, 2009, 04:45 AM

    Thanks Scott :)

    I do agree with you about the state, it is such a wide area that it would not matter, however I have had people refuse to post that detail on the forum.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #31

    Oct 12, 2009, 04:57 AM

    If they refuse then you tell them you can't help.

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