[Bellajane]

This may sound a little like the how are you question, but when people ask me, "how are you," and I want them to know I am about to cry, but to shy to say iT, I don't know how to let them know. I say, "okay," they assume it's a good okay... And they will move on. I am shy, but want to learn to approach someone when I feel very depressed or suicidal.. Without panic, or... "they are always sad." I want to talk to people... Just don't know the right approach.

[nm123nm]

When I didn't want to go into details about a sad situation that they already knew about, I would just say, "Considering the situation, I'm doing ok. I'll be better when it's all settled." But when I really needed to get it off my shoulders, I would say, "It's a difficult situation, you know?" and then we would just end up talking about it.

[Bellajane]

Thanks.

[amichelle17]

It sounds like you are desperate to tell someone. Be careful with who you tell. If you pick the right person you should be able to open up completely to them.

[Bellajane]

It's really hard to find a right person

[Fr_Chuck]

When most people ask "how are you" in fact they really don't want to know and if you really told them, they would be scared to death, not know what to say or more.

You do need a good friend or two to talk to and share how you really feel

[Bellajane]

I know.. it angers me

[neverme]

It may be a thought to see a counselor. You seem to need someone desperately about some serious issues. If you speak to a person who is not qualified to deal with your mental state, they may hurt you more than they help you.

[Bellajane]

I know like I see a therapist... But like she tells me to tell my mom when upset, and that's what I have trouble with. How do I say I am horrible mom... Now let me go shot myself.. Like now, when talking about this, I am fine, but when I don't feel safe I have trouble going to her and
Admitting it.

[shamika]

Well I want to start by saying I am now your new friend, how about that, It's okay to be shy your being yourself. Stop putting so much thought into saying the wrong thing, your grown and your entitled to your opinion. I use to be shy but now I have fun I have lots of friends , I hang out and I'm very popular. If someone ask's you how your doing say " fine and yourself" and I know it's hard but look them dead ion the eyes, and your confidence will begin to bloom, it has to start some where. BE YOURSELF and also LOVE Yourself because GOD does.

[0rphan]

Fr

This may sound a little like the how are you question, but when people ask me, "how are you," and I want them to know I am about to cry, but to shy to say iT, I don't know how to let them know. I say, "okay," they assume it's a good okay... And they will move on. I am shy, but want to learn to approach someone when I feel very depressed or suicidal .. Without panic, or ... "they are always sad." I want to talk to people.... Just don't know the right approach.

Hi Bellajane... as Fr-Chuck said people don't really want to know, they only ask out of curtizy, if we all answered truthfully every time that greeting was put to us, I'm sure the... how are you greeting... would die out for fear of everyone of us being in bouts of depression.

I know exactly how you feel and have learned to cover my true feelings in the public eye, which I know should not be, but I feel that everyone has their own cross to bare and would not thank me for adding more weight to it, so try and do what I do...

Write a list of the problems that are troubling you, no matter how small, if it bothers you put it down.
Go down the list,decide what you can do to solve each problem, also think about each one deciding whether or not it warrants the amount of time you are giving worrying about it. You can do it by points out of ten if you like.You'll be surprised how some of you worries are really not that important by the time you've finished your list.

Decide each day that you are going to deal with at least one problem... and do it in what ever way it calls for, if you cannot talk to your Mum, phone a help line totally anonymous and off load your burden, if necessary empty you head of your thoughts on paper or even to us here... that's what we are here for.

Trust me persevere it does help,

Keep your chin up

Takecare

[N0help4u]

I agree with the others asking how are you has become a worn out meaningless phrase. Nobody really wants to listen to our problems.
I know how it is when you feel down and wish there was somebody to just cry out about your problems to but most often they really aren't interested. I could be on the verge of a breakdown and would still tell most people 'Fine'.
You need to find one good close friend that you can open up to and ask them for advice on things that bother you. You can always come here for help with your specific concerns too.

[cozyk]

When most people ask "how are you" in fact they really don't want to know and if you really told them, they would be scared to death, not know what to say or more.

You do need a good friend or two to talk to and share how you really feel

Chuck , you are scaring her into silence. It sounds like she really needs to unload. Do you have any "real" friends. It can be awfully hard to keep up a façade of "everything's fine" when it isn't. Be careful who you confide in, but confide in someone, even if it is a therapist.
If you can't really be yourself with your friends, then they aren't really friends, they are just people you know. Good luck and I hope you are feeling better very soon.

Funny story, when my son was about 6 weeks old, I was going through a terrible PPD.
I was standing at a jewelry counter in a dept store, chatting with another mother with a baby. We talked about sleeping schedules, etc. and my son was just wearing me out. So, I started to unload on her, thinking I'd never see her again, and I just needed to let some of my unhappiness out. This was on a Friday. On Sunday, I took my daughter to a birthday party, and guess who was there? Turns out she was the sister-in-law to the mom of the birthday girl. Small world huh? :o