[jhoo]

I feel that I resist leting anyone get close, that I'm better off as a loner, but I want someone to love me. This tendency could be residual effects from a strained Mother-Daughter relationship. What should I do to improve my relationships?

[elrp2]

You just need to take risks now and again. It's hard, and will take time but if you don't take risks you'll never get anywhere - and that's not what you want.

You probably only feel better off as a loner because you can't see yourself in another situation.

It could be linked to the relationship between you and your mother, but you have to remember that relationships between families are totally different to those of friends and boyfriends. You know the saying... "friends are the family you choose".

Don't give up hope on finding someone, there's someone for everyone. Don't go looking for it, you never know what might happen.

[artistall]

Your indication of a residual after effect from a strained Mother/Daughter relationship is surely a viable aspect to your introversion. Childhood orientations greatly influence future behaviors even into later adulthood. If the relationship was more than just strained and consisted of traumatic occurrences then it would follow that Post Trauma Syndrom might be affecting your judgement and perception of the world around you. Your tendency to avoid close relationships is merely a safety mechanism. It is understandable why a failed Parent/Child relationship would cause emotional dilemna. As we grow it is our parents that we first look up to for encouragement, acceptance, and self esteem. I feel you are still developing your own identity and must first let these emotional feelings run the course. Don't force yourself to change but allow yourself the time to move forward from where you are now. If being a loner for awhile is what it will take to restore your emotional well being then feel comfortable with it. You will be surprised at what you may discover about yourself in the interim. Soon you will emerge as a more secure person with the confidence that you know what you want in life and where you want to go. Lastly of course you must remember that once you move forward it will be very important for you to find closure in your past situation so you won't carry it into your future relationships. I wish you the best.