[myk3]

This is very hard. About 4 months ago me and my g/f split up. 2 months later though we hadn't really totally gotten over eahtother we stopped contact and we both ended up in a relationship with other people. But she would talk to me on msn every now and then which was once a month.at this time we talked to each other, she made out she is fine misses me of course but is fine and is moving on. And at that time this is how I felt, happy I'm with some one new who likes me. A few days back she comes on to msn to chat to me. We get talking and we both end up telling each other there is a feeling missing in our relationships at the moment, its not the same, there is no spark. Though her current b/f sound like a nice bloke she tells me she is just not feeling right with him and she don't like having sex with him, and is often making up excuses.

My situation is I am with a girl who is 17 and I'm 20, (she lied to me about her age at the beggining). She is very pretty nice figure and such a loverly person, very kind and extremely mature! And trust me for me to stay with her at her age she would have to be a mature person! Also she looks allot older. She is a virgin, and still is. Though she has been in a long relationship before she has never had any kind of sexuall contact, the reason being her ex was very religious (each to there own but I think this is very brain washed, but who am I to judge?). Though I have only been with her a fraction of what her relationship was I feel that she is very close to me and has put allot more trust in me so far than any one else she has ever had. She has stayed round my house in my bed a fair few times and after month we started for play (just hands) as I don't want to rush her in to any thing! That where it stands at this time, I really do like her she is such a great friend to me! I just don't love her and I feel there is something missing when I'm with her. The poor girl don't need to be held on to like this, but now after what has happened I'm am going to ruin her little heart if I was to finsh her in this way! The fact is don't think I'm happy, bu then I won't be happy still if I lost contact with her, I will miss her big time, but I couldn't just see her as a friend, its really playing with my head!

Now here's the catch. Stupidly enough me and my ex met up yesterday for a drink (nothing happened what so ever). We where talking like you do and we just ended up telling each other how much we miss every thing and that we both feel more feelings for each other after 4 months now sitting down at the table in the pub looking at each other than we do with our current relationships what have lasted 2 months or so. I felt more comfertable and correct being with her yesterday for those 2 hours than I do with my current g/f now when I go out. We still love each other allot. My ex g/f said that she will leave her current b/f for me as she just isn't happy and what she wants is me. She says she will feel like a right ***** to her current guy but she can't lead him on and carry on with a relationship she isn't happy with. Now I think she is waiting for me to agree with the samre thing before she has enough strength to let go of what she has at the moment. The problem is I really am going to hurt my current g/f and I feel like I have used her, and she will see me as a right sleeze bag! She will remember me in many bad ways for it. And even if I was to break with her I would really really miss her her friendship comfert etc, she is such a nice girl with her head screwed on. So though I would be happy in love with my ex I would still be very mixed in the head and lost as I won't ever see or speak to her again, but I wouldn't want to see her as friends either. I would get over it but it would take a long time and I would never forgive myself. Basically both of us have gone in to new relationships and they are rebounds, we didn't no this at first. When I met my current g/f I liked her and I just wanted what I had with my ex and I thought I could and made myself believe that I could. At the end of the day I have F*(ked up!

Please post your comments, I'm confused, I need a good smack in the chops and for some one to put me streight. If its possible.

[Cassie]

Wow, how long had you and your X gone together? No one knows what is in your heart, because you certainly don't know. It sounds as though you both are still immature. She will not leave her present b/f until you are there for her, so basically she is using him. Would she do that to you. Anyone who stays in a relationship because they just want a relationship has a problem. As for you, you sound as confused as her. What you need to do, is make a list of why you care about each of them and see what is real.

I don't believe either one of you loves each other or your present mates or you would not be having doubts. You would either know you wanted to get back together or you would know you wanted to stay where you are. You both have some maturing to do.

[myk3]

Wow, how long had you and your X gone together? No one knows what is in your heart, because you certainly don't know. It sounds as tho you both are still immature. She will not leave her present b/f until you are there for her, so basically she is using him. Would she do that to you. Anyone who stays in a relationship because they just want a relationship has a problem. As for you, you sound as confused as her. What you need to do, is make a list of why you care about each of them and see what is real.

I don't believe either one of you loves each other or your present mates or you would not be having doubts. You would either know you wanted to get back together or you would know you wanted to stay where you are. You both have some maturing to do.

I was with her for 2.5 yrs. We do love each other very much! If I could change things and maked things happen without people getting hurt and me not feeling guilty I would make it so me and my ex get back together, this would make us both happy. As I said I don't want to hurt my current g/f by splitting up with her after how close we have got. I'm really good friends with my curreny g/f and I would really miss her! And yes we are both in relationships at the moment to keep us comfertable and have some one there for us, which is immature. But like I said if I was to split with my current I would be very upset and miss her allot!either way no matter what happenes I'm going to get hurt

[Cassie]

Why did you split up?