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    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #41

    Jan 25, 2009, 10:50 PM

    This may offend some, but I am dubious about this story. The OP previously identified self as married (in September 2008).

    Quote Originally Posted by 411Help
    The "clingyness" I've experienced is that I've had trouble gaping the space in between me and my spouse.
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...gy-260891.html

    It seems that the spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend was clingy then, but then became distant in a later version of the story.

    And 411Help also posted a long diatribe against an ex, which makes no mention of the pregnancy and abortion that have scarred him for life.
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-296728.html

    This all just seems odd to me.

    The reason I looked at past posts was the story had the aura of an adult telling a story intended to be morally instructive, which it certainly is.
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    secret_123 Posts: 52, Reputation: -7
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    #42

    Jan 26, 2009, 05:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    You are not stating your opinion, you are stating incorrect information, information that can be harmful to others.

    If you want to live you life with you head the sand, fine, I won't stop you, but stop trying to get others to join you in your ignorance.

    You said that there is only a chance in a zillion, I can quote you, so don't deny it. That's not true.

    Simply put, this is not the place to fight. This thread is about giving teens correct information, not for stating unfounded opinions.

    If you have something valid to contribute then we're all ears, if not, then please refrain from posting.
    And given, the 'correct'information is that in 411's case, there was a accident. But that doesn't mean that it will happen to everyone as you seem to think. Given it did in this case, and I am also adding info by saying that yes, mistakes do happen, but they are VERY unlikely if you are safe and resposible.
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    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #43

    Jan 26, 2009, 09:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by secret_123 View Post
    and given, the 'correct'information is that in 411's case, there was a accident. but that doesnt mean that it will happen to everyone as you seem to think. given it did in this case, and i am also adding info by saying that yes, mistakes do happen, but they are VERY unlikely if you are safe and resposible.
    I never said it would happen to everyone, but the chance is always there, no matter how safe and responsible you are.

    Think of it this way. If someone handed you a six shooter with one bullet in it and said, you only have a 1 in 6 chance of getting shot, would you put it to your head and pull the trigger? Are those odds good enough for you?

    Every time you have sex, even with protection, there is a chance of pregnancy, there's a chance of getting shot. If you want to take that risk that's your business, but, don't tell other people that it's safe, because it really isn't.

    I guarantee that if you pole 10 sexually active teens that are all using protection, at least one of them will end up pregnant. Contraception fails, people forget to use it or don't use it correctly, and even if they do use it correctly it's not 100% effective. The chance is always there, always. So, if you're having sex then you should be prepared to have a child, because it could happen.
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    XM8 Posts: 213, Reputation: 14
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    #44

    Jan 30, 2009, 04:07 PM

    Well I'm also sixteen. I had sex about 12 times with my ex-girlfriend back when I was 15.. like in April last year.

    What a stupid childish moron I was. She never got pregnant thankfully, but she was a b*tch. And looking back on our relationship makes me regret I lost my virginity to that manipulative... thing.


    I wish I hadn't had sex with her.. but at least I learned a valuable lesson from being treated like crap by a hot girl = Looks CAN be deceiving.


    Having pre-mature sex is so not worth it...

    But kids my age.. haha you can't tell 'em anything. We think we know it all, don't we.
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    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #45

    Jan 30, 2009, 04:47 PM

    XM8, we knew it all when we were teens too, and then we got older and realized we didn't know anything.

    It wasn't that long ago that I was a teen, doing what I wanted to do, unconcerned about the risks because those kinds of things only happen to other people. I got lucky, I dodged a lot of bullets, some of my friends weren't so lucky.

    Now I'm an adult, with kids of my own, and I still don't know everything, the big difference is that I know that I still have a lot to learn.

    Being a teen is hard, why make it harder by doing adult things that you know you won't be able to handle. Sex is a big responsibility, because once a baby comes along, you no longer have the luxury of making mistakes and being a kid.

    So, if we as adults can get through to just one teen, well, that's pretty darn good. Some kids are just intent on learning things the hard way, I wish it wasn't so, but wishes don't come true.
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    XM8 Posts: 213, Reputation: 14
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    #46

    Jan 30, 2009, 04:55 PM

    Altenweg (that means old way right?)

    You're so right.. I'm lucky I'm still a teen, and have already dodged bullets myself.

    It's a petty I can't find much people on the same level as me. They all think sex is so.. fun, and drugs are cool, etc.

    Sure sex is fun, but when you're a teen it's just wrong... Everything has it's proper moment.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #47

    Jan 30, 2009, 07:29 PM

    Ah, a german among us. Yes, Altenweg means old way or old path.

    Yes, sex is fun, but, when you're ready for it, financially and physically prepared to accept the possible outcome (a baby) then it's so much better. When you're constantly worried about what could happen, well, that takes the fun out of it.

    What truly amazes me is the amount of teens that are actually trying to get pregnant. It's not easy being a parent, even if the father is around to physically help. It's expensive, exhausting, frustrating and all consuming. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, no coffee breaks, no lunch breaks, no sick days, it's always and forever. Why do so many teens want to throw away their childhoods to be parents? What's the rush? I won't ever understand that.

    Yes, I dodged a lot of bullets, thank God. I never wanted to be a teen mom, that was unthinkable, I know I wouldn't be able to handle it, heck, there are days when I'm amazed that I handle it now. ;)

    Maybe we should start a program for all teens. One where they are required to take care of a real baby for a week, all by themselves. I'm sure other teen moms would volunteer their baby's for this program, and I guarantee, after one week with a baby, most of those teens wouldn't want a child until they're older.

    Full responsibility for a baby is the best birth control we can probably give teens today.

    Sure sex is fun, but when you're a teen it's just wrong... Everything has it's proper moment.
    So very true. Heck, I'm not even saying to wait until marriage, just wait until you're old enough to deal with the consequences.
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    XM8 Posts: 213, Reputation: 14
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    #48

    Jan 31, 2009, 02:49 AM

    Hehe I'm english believe it or not - I've been living in austria for the past 10 years that's all =)

    I'm no parent but I can imagine that being an adult mother is en exhausting job - never mind trying to raise a child being a teen.

    The whole concept is ridiculous.. how can an unraised child want to have children, that themselves wouldn't be properly raised?

    It seems that this world is really coming to it's end. So many outrageous things are going on it's just unheard of compared to past centuries.

    Your idea of a birth control program to give teens full responsibility of a baby for a week just seems like such a good idea - but knowing governments, they wouldn't lift a finger to even bother starting such a program.

    I'm personally against the idea of abortion - but I prefer to avoid even debating that subject by just saying that pre-mature sex is wrong. In austria one can have sex at 14, and get an abortion without their parents knowledge. That seems pretty crazy if you ask me...

    I sometimes wonder if my ex-girlfriend even got pregnant at all. Knowing her she could have done a variety of things.. probably kept the baby, or having aborted without telling anyone...

    I don't know it just seems unlikely anyway. Even after a crappy relationship (which was mainly her fault) if she had gotten pregnant, I doubt she would have stooped so low to sue me for it.

    I'm not even saying to wait until marriage, just wait until you're old enough to deal with the consequences.
    I'll go along with that any day :-)

    -Xm8
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    #49

    Feb 2, 2009, 12:56 PM

    I'm 18 and when I lost my virginity I had my head in the clouds I thought I was in love and that everyone was wrong. I should have listened to my older sister she said its not all that, she she was correct. I'm sorry to 411 for what you had to go through. I didn't even go through that and I was put off. Sex is not what its all been made out to be, I was 16 and I thought I was ready I thought I was mature enough and people who were saying otherwise were wrong. But they were right. I am now in a relationship and I think back to when I was younger and I really no I wasn't in love, I'm not saying you can't be. But you will always have strong feelings for a boyfriend and think your ready but doesn't actually mean you are. I wish I waited but I thought different.
    If I could go back to when I was 16 I would have waited. X
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    #50

    Mar 4, 2009, 04:35 PM

    Wow that's funny man I'm talking to this girl on the phne who I want to have sex with right now
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    XM8 Posts: 213, Reputation: 14
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    #51

    Mar 4, 2009, 04:39 PM

    Well you'll look pretty darn stupid if you actually have sex with her after reading this thread. That's assuming that you're not exactly prepared to have a baby.
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    #52

    Mar 4, 2009, 04:55 PM

    I am ready to have a kid with her I love her more then anyone ever
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #53

    Mar 4, 2009, 05:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bemus900523 View Post
    i am ready to have a kid with her i love her more then anyone ever
    Well, love is all you need (sarcasm) that and around $1000-$1500 a month for expenses, a roof over your head, a car, insurance, food, the fact that the girl is probably young and young people don't do too well with pregnancy, their bodies aren't ready.

    Are you ready to spend every night at home, stop being a kid because you'll have one? Drop out of school, get the best job you can so you can support her and the kid?

    If so, go for it, who cares right? :rolleyes:
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    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #54

    Mar 4, 2009, 05:04 PM

    Thank-you for sharing your experience with us 411. I think coming from another teen will mean more to many teens.

    Clearly,you are very mature and I am sure this experience has forced you to grow up faster than you would have liked.
    Maybe your difficult experience can spare someone else!
    If they listen!
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    #55

    Mar 4, 2009, 05:05 PM

    Yes I am I love her that much
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    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #56

    Mar 4, 2009, 05:11 PM

    Bemus, how old are you? Love doesn't conquer all, trust me. A baby can rip the love you have apart so fast your head will spin.

    Why are you so eager to have sex? Are you planning on using any protection? Are you planning anything at all or just flying by the seat of your pants and libido?

    If you read this thread and got nothing out of it, then you're either not listening, not reading, or not that bright.
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    bemus900523 Posts: 7, Reputation: 0
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    #57

    Mar 4, 2009, 05:15 PM

    I'm not bright I'm 14 and I'm going to use protection
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    #58

    Mar 4, 2009, 05:19 PM

    14 and you think you're in love. I hate to be mean, and it's possible (not probable) that you two will be together forever, but stats say no. Love at 14 rarely lasts, so be careful before you saddle yourself down with a child that you will be repsonsible for forever!

    If I had a dime for every boy I was in love with from 14-17 I'd be a very rich woman.

    Just don't do something you will regret, talk to your parents about it, or another adult. Don't rush into things, you're still so young.
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    #59

    Mar 4, 2009, 05:28 PM

    Um OK
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    #60

    Mar 5, 2009, 09:37 AM

    Lol 14 ? That's not "love". Trust me, I'm 16, I was also 14 two years ago, you think I can't tell the difference?

    Forget it dude, it's the stupidest thing ever. You will look like a giant pen!s when you think back to what we said in a few months or a year.

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