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chrissymarie · Jan 14, 2009, 09:31 AM

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a while now. We both have a really healthy sex life with only one another. Like 2 weeks after we started having sex we went to a Planned Parenthood and got STD test. We both came back clean, thank god. Everything was fine until a month ago my bf's upper lip started growing this huge bump that got really crusty and dry and big. It hurt him and would bother him we he ate even though he said it didn't hurt I could tell it did. It went away in like 5 days but it really bothers me cause it looked like herpes. I told him and he said it was just a cold sore but I didn't believe him so I went myaself and got tested for it. The results came back negative. This story would have ended there if his mouth wasn't breaking out again! What is going on with his mouth?

Is it possible for your partner to have herpes and you not get it? And how in the world did he get herpes if he does have it? Is he cheating? Is it acceptable to stay with someone who does have an STD? What do I do about this situation?

He won't go get tested because he's convinced he doesn't have it but I think that's just an excuse because he does and he knows it. How do I find out for myself?

J_9 · Jan 14, 2009, 09:37 AM

A cold sore is a DIFFERENT kind of herpes. Usually has nothing to do with sex, heck my 6 year old gets them.

It can though be passed on through kissing or oral sex, so you may want to refrain during breakouts.

southerngalps · Jan 14, 2009, 09:40 AM

He has facial herpes (cold sores).

Since you've been tested, he doesn't have the herpes virus that is spread through sex.

Cinnabar · Jan 14, 2009, 10:42 AM

Chances are he did not contract it through sex but don't let that fool you into thinking that you can not get it from him. Any contact(including kissing or him performing oral sex on you) with the affected area while he has a breakout can transmit it.

southerngalps · Jan 14, 2009, 12:05 PM

Cinnabar disagrees: Both HHV-1 and HHV-2 can be transmitted by sex. Only casual contact is required. It has become more common in recent years for both types to be seen in both orofacial and genital cases.

What exaclty was I wrong about?

I said since they were both tested for the std, that he didn't have that type.

Cinnabar · Jan 23, 2009, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by southerngalps

Cinnabar disagrees: Both HHV-1 and HHV-2 can be transmitted by sex. Only casual contact is required. It has become more common in recent years for both types to be seen in both orofacial and genital cases.

what exaclty was i wrong about?

i said since they were both tested for the std, that he didn't have that type.

I was pointing out that there isn't a sole type that is sexually transmitted(you said "the" type that is spread through sex). Both HHV-1 and HHV-2 can be.

southerngalps · Jan 23, 2009, 09:35 AM

I believe she was worried about the herpes that were on his mouth being the same as the ones in the genital area.

They are not the same. That is what I was trying to say. I guess I didn't come off clear enough :)