[bittersweet89]

Okay. So here's the deal. I think maybe my whole life I've seemed to be paranoid, terrified, yet intrigued by spirits. And I've had some experiences. Not a lot though and that's why I need help. A lot of the time I'm worried that its just me. But I have never been able to shake away the interest.
One of my first experiences that I can remember clearly was when I was younger, about 11. I was asleep in my room one night when out of no where my radio turned on with the music fully blasted. I woke up so fast I nearly jumped a foot in the air. I couldn't sleep the whole night. I knew that I hadn't left the radio on, and even if I did, how would the radio get so loud?
Now here's the problem, I've never actually seen a ghost, all I ever see is dark shadows that move. Not even clear shadows, sometimes they just seem to fade in and out.
(just to make it clear I have had experiences before that but have a hard time remembering)
Another time I was about twelve and I was home alone at about 11 o'clock. I went to call my parents because they were later then I had thought they would be. As I went to go sit down on the chair in the kitchen next to the counter. An empty glass bottle slid of the counter and smashed on the ground, just missing my foot.
I had so many fears in my head for so long about ghosts, that I just tried to forget about them, and I did. But a couple years later, I have been seeing the shadow again, and sometimes I will see something move in the corner of my eye, but when I look there is never anything there. A lot of the time I don't feel alone and feel that I'm being watched. I don't have things moving around anymore or anything like that.. but sometimes while I lie in bed at night I swear I see a shadow move around my room and sometimes lean over like there watching me. Sometimes it scares me so much I can't move. I'm now 18 and the experiences don't seem to be going away.. All I need to know is if this is something I should worry about.. if it is really a spirit, or if it just my emagination?And how can I find out more?

[Josh123313]

First off I've had similar experiences and that ghost your talking about is most likely to be a poltergeist but he did leave you alone a few times and even got to see him but be wary and try to exorcise the spirit

[bittersweet89]

First off I've had similar experiences and that ghost your talking about is most likely to be a poltergeist but he did leave you alone a few times and even got to see him but be wary and try to exorcise the spirit

Another thing I had forgotten to right down, was that a couple times in the past couple years. While I lie in bed and I close my eyes I get a bright flash of an old lady, with many wrinkles on her face, she almost looks disoriented, she has long wavy gray hair and she is screaming. Just as quickly as the image appears it disappears again, but sometimes the screaming just rings in my ears. Can this have anything to do with the other experiences I have had?
This is something a little personal. But I have to know. A couple years ago I was told that my grandma committed suicide before I was even born. I've even been told I'm a lot like her.
Sometimes I think its her.. can that be possible?

[ParaHunter1]

Hey Bittersweet,
As for being afraid,That's just normal.Now for fearing harm it doesn't seem as if you have a malevolent manifestation.Some people believe that if you ignore the entity it can no longer draw on you for it's energy.You can also go the route to fully acknowlege this presence and basiclly tell it how thigs need to be.I know it sounds crazy,but it does work.I had a couple that I helped a few years back and they followed that advice and it helped them tremendesly.Also you can look into such things as rites of exercise,But be very careful you may end up upsetting you guest and making your situation much worse.I would be glad to help you with further info if you need.Good luck and I hope this helps!

[number9forlife1]

That can be possible that you are seeing your grandma, I wouldn't be worried, she might just be calling for help if she can't get over to the other side.

[Alder]

A big chunk of talent is desire. Say someone just loves to play the piano, and does it for hours at a time. Did they get good at it because they had an innate talent, or was the talent merely their deep love of it which led them to practice so often? Desire isn't the whole thing. But it's a part. If you feel deeply drawn to learn about spirits, and if that is a long term calling, then you may well develop an ever-improving ability to interact with them.

Particularly with regard to your grandmother, you may be able to help her, and in time she may even help you and be a kind of spirit guide for you. If she is stuck, and people do get stuck in bad situations after they die, same as so many of us do before we die, she may have sensed that you have the gifts to help her and may be reaching out to you.

Here's the deal though: Desire is tricky. You describe a fascination that is also mixed with fear and anxiety and a whole bunch of other stuff. At this point, there's no way you can clearly understand what is going on, clearly see the spiritual influences that are out there, and be able to do anything coherent about it.

First find yourself. Learn an inner peace so that desire and fear can flow around you, you can tap their energies but not be ruled by them. Learn trust. It may take some years to reach the sort of balance and groundedness that is necessary for one who would confront the problem you describe, because it is a serious problem.

Suicide is a big deal, psychically speaking. Taking a life marks your soul in a powerful way. It invokes the most powerful kind of magic. That's why, in the ancient world, some magicians would use human sacrifice to try to claim for themselves some ultimate boon. And there are stories of ancient kings who would sacrifice themselves or their sons to save their embattled kingdoms.

The same goes for taking one's own life. Giving up one's own life for the sake of another changes the fabric of the universe. Jesus said it was the greatest kind of love. That idea even shows up in Harry Potter. Suicide is the same, but upside down. Offering up one's life to despair and hopelessness places a seal upon the soul, a curse. It is not an escape but a trap. But not a hopeless one. Just a difficult one. A long, hard, painful lesson that can, in time, be learned and transcended.

You may be able to connect with your grandmother, and perhaps you are called to that work. If you accomplish that work successfully it will help her find her way, and be a huge initiation for you into a life of service and adventure. But do not rush in. The hardest lesson of all may be patience. It takes a long time to learn the art, and learning the art does no good (and potentially much harm) if you do not first learn yourself, your true self, in the deepest being.

Blessings on your journey.

[syd8390]

My friend and I know what you are going through-we have also had very similar experiences. But we know a lot about this (im not crazy but trust me, we do) and you have what we call "limited sight" to where you can only see the shadows from time to time. It SHOULD go away though- if it is just limited.

[xxsophiexx95]

Well My Brothers Radio Came On Before And It Came On Again When He Was At His Girlfriends And I Was There... Creepy Im Not Sure What It Is But Maybe A Electricity Glimps Or Something, Im Sure There's Any Explanation for yours and mine.