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leethomas · Jul 17, 2006, 09:34 PM

Tonight I found out that a girl I know is pregnant. So I called to say hello and ask if she was doing well... bla bla bla. I asked if it was her other child's father, she says she hopes it is but she thinks its mine!

Wow!! She's 6 weeks pregnant and she and I had a "one night stand" about 6 weeks ago. She's only slept with me and her long time boyfriend ( they were broke-up at the time).

Now about the "act"... I started using a condom (I always do) but she claimed she was allergic, it bothered her, and I didn't have to use it. So I took it off continued and used the "pull out" method. She says that she and her boyfriend have unprotected sex all the time but since they were broken up/fighting at the time, she's convinced its mine.

What are the chances that after all these years of being "safe"... I get this girl pregnant during a one night stand in which I pulled out?

magprob · Jul 17, 2006, 09:48 PM

Pulling out does not work. No Condom no protection. If the blood test points to you as the father, then be a stand up guy and help take care of your child. By the way, that doesn't mean "paying thru the nose" for eighteen years. It means being a father for the rest of you life.

leethomas · Jul 17, 2006, 09:50 PM

How long will it take for me to get a test... I want to know if its mine or not. I think the chances would be slim, but she's convinced.

Hoping4aBFP · Jul 17, 2006, 09:58 PM

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I got pregnant about 5 years ago by using the "pull out" method. That little bit of pre-ejaculate carries some sperm in it. BUT there is always a chance that it's not yours if they have unprotected sex all the time. You don't know exactly when she ovulated. It could have been that night you had your one night stand or it could have been before you or after you with her boyfriend. Her being about 6 weeks along and you having slept with her about 6 weeks ago could give you a shot at being the father. Ask her when the last time she slept with her boyfriend before she slept with you and when she slept with him again after you and her slept together.
Unfortunately, you do have to wait until after the baby is born to do a paternity test.
Good luck. Keep us posted...

leethomas · Jul 18, 2006, 01:52 PM

OK, I didn't sleep a wink last night. Anyway, I just got off the phone with her... she said she slept with the other guy the day before and the day after. Crazy eh. (not exactly broken up like she said).

That day she told me that her and her boyfriend broke up and she acted like she and I may start going out. She also implied she was on birth control... well she's not. She was for a while and then stopped after she ran out.

I am going to go crazy before 9months!!

Hoping4aBFP · Jul 18, 2006, 03:29 PM

That's not very cool of her to first of all tell you that she was broken up with her boyfriend and give you a reason to think you two may get together. Secondly, she shouldn't say she's on birth control if she's not!!
My husband (he was my boyfriend at the time) knew that I wasn't on any form of birth control when we got pregnant because I told him the TRUTH! We were just very young and we didn't take the right precautions. We thought that the "pull out" method was something that worked. Obviously, I'm proof that it doesn't. I was more in denial about the pregnancy than he was. I kept telling him that I was irregular and that my period would come. It was a long while and it still didn't come. He made me come to his work (he worked at a drug store) and get a pregnancy test. Then I rode my bike home, took it and didn't call and tell him the result because I was terrified. I waited for him to ask me about it. He asked me later that night and I told him. He then didn't believe me. Unfortunately, I lost the baby. It may have been a blessing in disguise because he was 16 and I was 17 at the time and we were no where near ready for a baby. Now, we're married, ready and trying and guess what? It's not happening!! What do you know?!
Anyway, this is about you, not me. Haha... sorry.
She sounds like a deceiving person. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. To get your mind off it, just think that there's more of a chance for him than you because she slept with him more often than you. Don't get all worked up about it. Just let the pregnancy take its course and then take care of the paternity test.
May I ask how old you guys are?

leethomas · Jul 18, 2006, 07:18 PM

I'm 21... she's 19. This is all un-characteristic of me. I am usually safe. And I usually wouldn't sleep with someone that I don't REALLY know.

I can't believe this sh#t.

In hindsight, I was just coming off a bad break-up... and this girl seemed sweet.

I just graduated college were I played basketball. I have my first pro Boxing match in Feb. I also have a band that is putting out a CD in the spring 07'. And I was about to move to the beach. NOW my life is on hold for 9months... this changes everything.

To Everyone: NEVER EVER do what I did.

Myth · Jul 19, 2006, 05:01 AM

I have been keeping an eye on this thread. I have to ask did you see a positive pregnancy test? If she lied and mislead you about other things then she could be lying about this too. I wouldn't put my life on hold, but I would ask for proof positive. It sounds as if she's trying to munipulate you for some reason. Have you talked to her boyfriend? Does he even know what is going on. Do some research before you completely trust this girls word.

Hoping4aBFP · Jul 19, 2006, 08:24 AM

Good call Myth. I didn't think about that, but that's a good point! Also, maybe because of all of your success she's trying to trap you. I've seen it happen. Oh that would be so wrong. Ask her to take a pregnancy test with you present...

talaniman · Jul 20, 2006, 01:51 PM

Go on with your life until the child is born. Why just sit and wait when you can be living. To be honest she doesn't sound like g/f material so leave her alone and don't make any promises. This isn't the end of the world but I bet you learned from this mistake. So build your life in a positive direction and do the right thing if its your kid. It could be worse you could have been in love and wondering whose kid it is so move on. If she's just trying to trap you into something, well my friend hope you got your nikes' on ,you need to run for the hills.

valinors_sorrow · Jul 20, 2006, 04:05 PM

I learned from a wise friend that you really can't solve problems until they "arrive"-- that there really is a timing to things... go look at Wildcat's signature for further illumination... something about a net, you should appreciate it being in b-ball. LOL.

If she has a baby and if the paternity test proves its yours, then the "problem has arrived". Until then, its just the possibility of a possibility and needs to be treated as such. You aren't freaking out over being run over by a donkey cart carrying potatoes or over discovering that your neighbor's mom was secretly was a spy... so no advanced problem solving attempts with potential offspring either, okay?

If it turns out to be your child, you'll have taught him or her a first big lesson and a valuable one at that... to take care of self!

J_9 · Jul 20, 2006, 04:08 PM

A great person once said "Don't borrow trouble" I can't remember who that was, other than my mother.

But Val and Tal are right. Don't borrow trouble, there is nothing you can do until the paternity test.

Hoping4aBFP · Jul 20, 2006, 09:53 PM

I agree with everyone too. Don't stress out about it. Live your life and worry about it when the time comes...

Chery · Jul 21, 2006, 10:50 AM

Hi leethomas. As has been said, you don't know it's yours and don't need to start something with her 'just in case'.

Try not to dwell on the issue, go on with your life, you'll know the 'real deal' soon enough.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

The proof is on her, then it's your turn and you can handle it when it actually happens.

leethomas · Jul 25, 2006, 05:15 PM

Nothing new... and I guess there won't be anything new for 9months.

But I was reading up on some things and I heard this-> There is a very small chance that "pre-ejaculate" can cause a pregnancy because sperm is not formed in this fluid. The only way sperm gets into this fluid is if there is sperm in the shaft... then this "left over" becomes very high in contrast to the small amount of fluid. This happens only if the man has had sex (or masturbated) earlier that day. Urine would clean this out.

Now, that's what I read from some website I found while googling. I was just wondering if anyone else had heard of this. Is there any trueth in this?

talaniman · Jul 25, 2006, 05:36 PM

Yes I've heard the same thing. Whether its true or not? I don't know. What I do know is With or without a condom a female CAN get pregnant. Abstinence is the only 100% way not to get a female pregnant. Condoms are 99%. (they break/ rupture) If you don't use a condom, only a blood test can determine paternity (recommended) As a reference watch Maury Povich and you'll find out how even women don't know who the father is and they lie. Be cool and wait for the tests when the child is born. Till then you have no obligation. You may be obligated to the child afterwards but that doesn't mean mama can control so relax.