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    fedupgranny's Avatar
    fedupgranny Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 29, 2008, 02:30 PM
    Custodial grandmother being harassed by daughter for custody
    I have had legal temporary custody of my two grandchildren for over 3 1/2 years, and they were living with me for almost a year prior to that without any paperwork. DFAC in Toombs Co GA placed them in my care for almost a year before I received custody which was a temporary order because the mother signed them over for a 2 year period. She was given several opportunities ( and one of the Dads involved) to go through a case plan and get custody back. Several court appearances later they had done absolutely nothing to rectify their situation. They were on drugs and continued with their habit. The last hearing the father of the oldest, girl, 13 at the time was incarcerated in jail. He had just been released from state prison for an armed robbery conviction and served 7 years. The other father of the youngest child, boy aged six was banned from interaction with proceedings because he had never legitimized his son. The mother still legally married to first child's father. The boy's father also going through proceedings for sexual abuse to his son. The mother knew of incident told to her by the child but never revealed this to anyone. The child came out with the story in school when the school did a seminar on Right Touch Wrong Touch for kids. They were living with me at the time. All three parents have history of cocaine, crack abuse. I took both children to Advocacy Center for Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence where they have continued counseling for the past 3 years. The main reason mother signed over temporary custody was she was asked to do a drug screen at court and knew she test positive for cocaine. These same children were in foster care for approximately 1+ years in another county because of her cocaine use.
    She has never paid child support even though her license was suspended 2 years ago. She has never had a job until recently. The only reason is Child Support finally got her back in court after several contempt citations and basically informed her to get a job or go to jail. The Child Enforcement has just now last week taken out their first payment and she is really mad about it. Of course it doesn't go to me anyway because the state gets it first for medicaid and TANF that I have on them. I receive that and My Social Security Disability. The mother is currently in a shelter for domestic violence. She stayed here in my home for a few day during Christmas so she could visit with children. When she finally arrived her she was high on drugs and continued to use during Christmas. One of the other grandchildren visiting told on her as she continually went to the woods to "burn one". Because of Christmas I didn't raise the issue until later that day. The next day after she left she came out to my house with the sheriff's deputy and a hugh U-Haul to collect the kids and all the furniture. She wasn't aware that I had temporary guardianship order on children until they are 18 already in force before the temporary custody ran out in Feb of this year 08. It was signed with seal etc 2 days before other order expired. When I was going through the legal proceedings with this order I went through Georgia Legal Services in Savannah. The sexual abuse center referred me to this avenue. At the time the mother could not be located as her mailing address was returned mail. So petition was published for several months in newspaper and then order granted. She was not aware of this order. So she felt justified in her actions. It was a big surprise to me when she came with the law. I showed them my current paperwork and they informed her she would have to leave and if she wanted custody would have to retain an attorney and file through court system. She has constantly gone behind my back trying to contact children and telling them she will get them soon. It has created a lot of confusion. The children love their Mom which is normal, and I had no problem with her visiting them. But until she moved to our county and went to the shelter she had not visited but only 3 times in our home in 4 years. All the rest of the visitation I would drive 100+ miles so she could see them. I let her talk on the phone to them several times a week. But I do have a problem with her continued drug use. She was supposed to be "off the crack" but evidently the staff in the shelter have not caught on that she still uses when she is outside the shelter on visits, work, etc. I have a problem that she has never supported them until she was forced to do so. Which of course, as I have stated it will still be a period before we will see any child support because she owes the state so much. I question this issue also because if she can't pay the smallest amount I have ever heard of which is $148 a month for BOTH children. If she can't pay this how is she going to support them if she gets them back? I don't want her back in my home because of her drug use and because she sneaks behind my back plotting and scheming trying to get children back. I hate to be hard hearted because the children love her but I don't need her harassment. What can I do to stop it? Is it wrong that I don't want drugs anywhere near my home? She has a long history and DFAC cases in five different counties in the past for drug use and being unstable. I know people can change but if they can't even stop smoking weed what are their chances of really straightening up. She doesn't consider smoking weed a big issue since its not the same as crack. She says that it is different and she will not stop it because it calms her nerves and she can't live without it. Now the teenager involved thinks its okay also. I don't think it is. The influence she has on these children is not positive in my estimation. What furthur action do I need to take?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Dec 29, 2008, 03:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by fedupgranny View Post
    I have had legal temporary custody of my two grandchildren for over 3 1/2 years, and they were living with me for almost a year prior to that without any paperwork. DFAC in Toombs Co GA placed them in my care for almost a year before I received custody which was a temporary order because the mother signed them over for a 2 year period. She was given several opportunities ( and one of the Dads involved) to go through a case plan and get custody back. Several court appearances later they had done absolutely nothing to rectify their situation. They were on drugs and continued with their habit. The last hearing the father of the oldest, girl, 13 at the time was incarcerated in jail. He had just been released from state prison for an armed robbery conviction and served 7 years. The other father of the youngest child, boy aged six was banned from interaction with proceedings because he had never legitimized his son. The mother still legally married to first child's father. The boy's father also going through proceedings for sexual abuse to his son. The mother knew of incident told to her by the child but never revealed this to anyone. The child came out with the story in school when the school did a seminar on Right Touch Wrong Touch for kids. They were living with me at the time. All three parents have history of cocaine, crack abuse. I took both children to Advocacy Center for Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence where they have continued counseling for the past 3 years. The main reason mother signed over temporary custody was she was asked to do a drug screen at court and knew she test positive for cocaine. These same children were in foster care for approximately 1+ years in another county because of her cocaine use.
    She has never paid child support even though her license was suspended 2 years ago. She has never had a job until recently. The only reason is Child Support finally got her back in court after several contempt citations and basically informed her to get a job or go to jail. The Child Enforcement has just now last week taken out their first payment and she is really mad about it. Of course it dosent go to me anyway because the state gets it first for medicaid and TANF that I have on them. I receive that and My Social Security Disability. The mother is currently in a shelter for domestic violence. She stayed here in my home for a few day during Christmas so she could visit with children. When she finally arrived her she was high on drugs and continued to use during Christmas. One of the other grandchildren visiting told on her as she continually went to the woods to "burn one". Because of Christmas I didnt raise the issue until later that day. The next day after she left she came out to my house with the sheriff's deputy and a hugh U-Haul to collect the kids and all the furniture. She wasnt aware that I had temporary guardianship order on children until they are 18 already in force before the temporary custody ran out in Feb of this year 08. It was signed with seal etc 2 days before other order expired. When I was going through the legal proceedings with this order I went through Georgia Legal Services in Savannah. The sexual abuse center referred me to this avenue. At the time the mother could not be located as her mailing address was returned mail. So petition was published for several months in newspaper and then order granted. She was not aware of this order. So she felt justified in her actions. It was a big surprise to me when she came with the law. I showed them my current paperwork and they informed her she would have to leave and if she wanted custody would have to retain an attorney and file through court system. She has constantly gone behind my back trying to contact children and telling them she will get them soon. It has created a lot of confusion. The children love their Mom which is normal, and I had no problem with her visiting them. But until she moved to our county and went to the shelter she had not visited but only 3 times in our home in 4 years. All the rest of the visitation I would drive 100+ miles so she could see them. I let her talk on the phone to them several times a week. But I do have a problem with her continued drug use. She was supposed to be "off the crack" but evidently the staff in the shelter have not caught on that she still uses when she is outside the shelter on visits, work, etc. I have a problem that she has never supported them until she was forced to do so. Which of course, as I have stated it will still be a period of time before we will see any child support because she owes the state so much. I question this issue also because if she can't pay the smallest amount I have ever heard of which is $148 a month for BOTH children. If she can't pay this how is she going to support them if she gets them back? I dont want her back in my home because of her drug use and because she sneaks behind my back plotting and scheming trying to get children back. I hate to be hard hearted because the children love her but I dont need her harassment. What can I do to stop it? Is it wrong that I dont want drugs anywhere near my home? She has a long history and DFAC cases in five different counties in the past for drug use and being unstable. I know people can change but if they can't even stop smoking weed what are their chances of really straightening up. She dosent consider smoking weed a big issue since its not the same as crack. She says that it is different and she will not stop it because it calms her nerves and she can't live without it. Now the teenager involved thinks its okay also. I dont think it is. The influence she has on these children is not positive in my estimation. What furthur action do I need to take?


    It's a little difficult to sort through all this detail. Legally if you don't want her around you or the children and have sufficient grounds, get a restraining order against her.

    Is that your question?

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