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samanthajayne · Dec 27, 2008, 05:39 AM

Can someone please please help - I am so worried - can't think of anything else.

I need opinions on this, because when I was young I was abused by my father, so I think that has clouded my judgment on what is appropriate and what isn't. What I mean is I am thinking that I might be thinking it's inappropriate when it isn't, because I shy away from any physical contact.

OK, this is the thing. Is this OK or not? An adult son (35 yrs old) is sitting on the floor watching TV, with his mum sitting behind him on the settee. His shirt collar is low at the back, and she starts tickling and stroking his neck and back. She did it for about 20 minutes, and also his arm - putting her hand up his sleeve to get higher. She then sat with her hand resting on his shoulder. He just sat there allowing this to all happen.

Am I going mad? Is this OK? Because to me it isn't - I couldn't believe what I was seeing and felt sick and hot - thought I was going to faint. But am I just reacting like this because of my dad - maybe it is totally normal? Please someone help.

iluvmypoochgrif · Dec 27, 2008, 06:21 AM

Whoah whoah whoah!! His mom did that to him!! I think she likes him more than a son!! (rapist definately) -.-

samanthajayne · Dec 27, 2008, 07:00 AM

Do you really think that, because this is my partner of 4 years. I need to know if this is wrong, or if it's me. Please - it's really important.

artlady · Dec 27, 2008, 07:33 AM

It is rather odd.I have two grown male sons and we are very close but I would never think of doing something like that.It does seem to be crossing a line but clearly if they believed it was inappropriate they would not have done it in front of you.
Is he a mama's boy?
Maybe this is how she soothed him as a child and it has just continued because neither one of them have realized what was OK at 6 or 7 is not OK at 35.
I'm not implying that it was a sexual thing but it does seem to cross boundaries for a man that age.
I can understand you being a little freaked out but some families are far too open with one another.I knew a Mom who would run around in front of her teenage son in a bra and panties and It blew my mind.To them it was very normal.
I would talk to him about it and ask him if he feels at all uncomfortable with that caressing from Mom?

samanthajayne · Dec 27, 2008, 07:37 AM

Thank you for your reply. I am scared to say anything to him about it although I think he knows there is something wrong.

He didn't feel at all uncomfortable with it, because he had his arm up on the settee and could easily have moved it if he didn't like it.

Yes, he is a bit of a mummy's boy, but this has really freaked me out - I didn't like it at all. It made me feel sick. I cannot imagine anyone else doing it. I just don't know what to do.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 27, 2008, 07:40 AM

What nationality or culture is this,

Is this the first time you have seen such behavior ?

samanthajayne · Dec 27, 2008, 07:43 AM

Yes it is the first time although he has always lived at home and doesn't like being away too long - he spends longer with me now but for 3 years he wouldn't spend more then a day or two here.

We are in england - no religion.

N0help4u · Dec 27, 2008, 12:21 PM

It definitely sounds like more than a momma's boy.
If he can't handle being away from his mother more than a day or two at a time I would question where a relationship with you is possible. Momma will ALWAYS be in the middle.

FroOGle · Dec 27, 2008, 12:36 PM

I don't think that's a normal thing for a mother to do to one of her children