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electrons · Dec 25, 2008, 05:12 PM

Hello everyone,

I am in a pickle, I have been dating this very successful man for about three years. As a returning college student, he has been a very active part of my school life. We have multiple fights which he has ended or relationship and some how we have made it back together again. Each time, he says he wants out, he claims he wish to continue helping me with school, which creates the door way to us making up. I am a bio major, which his help is very crucial with the work load that I have.

Just recently he claims that he was not happy & needed to end our relationship, for the millionth time, but... again he still wants to help with school. I love this man with all my heart, but the roller coaster ride is killing me, so this time I am so ready to be strong and move on, but on the other hand school is so important to me. I am on a very tight budget, and have very little time with a full time job, and want to graduate within a certain time, what I am saying is I want to accept the help. I am so confused that I am driving myself crazy. He thinks that I should be an adult an put my priorities first, which is school, not a relationship. What do I do

tickle · Dec 25, 2008, 06:10 PM

You can't accept his help with your school budget and move on at the same time. That makes the two of you still connected. You have to give up one or other. Make it on your own electrons, you will have to in the long run anyway.

electrons · Dec 25, 2008, 06:13 PM

The help is not with the budget, I have that covered. He is in the field that I am trying to get into, which is a very competitive field, with his help, I have been able to maintain a 3.8 GPA, which would be almost impossible without the tutoring. That is what I am worried about

liz28 · Dec 25, 2008, 07:36 PM

Well if you continue to stay the rollercoaster ride will never end. It will be long lasting until he finish helping you completely.

Do you think this is worth it? All this drama just so he can help you and when he does you cut him off. Do you think he will go away that easily after it's all set and done, I don't think so.

I think you should leave for your own piece of mind. Why can't the two of you just be friends? Friends are good to have and sometimes it can last for a lifetime.

talaniman · Dec 25, 2008, 08:21 PM

Since you cannot separate your business from pleasure, then you should leave him alone, and compete on your own merits.

I think you both are using each other.

electrons · Dec 25, 2008, 08:23 PM

Each time we would say that we are going to be friends, which I don't have a problem with, I would prepare myself for a friendship, then some time would go by & we things will be good, then we would get into that comfort zone, this happen, and the ride begins. Hopefully this time it would be different.

electrons · Dec 25, 2008, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Since you cannot seperate your business from pleasure, then you should leave him alone, and compete on your own merits.

I think you both are using each other, so either leave, or stay, your decision to make.

Thank you for your advice, but unfortunately, things are not always so black & white, hence why people often struggle with the decision making process. See that I am only giving a mere summary of the issue, I would accept your opinion. I think to say that we are using each other is somewhat off base.

Inquisitiveme08 · Dec 25, 2008, 08:52 PM

Oh this sucks chick! I think you need to dump him. I think people are afraid to get rid of "the other half" because of how hard it will be emotionally and nothing else. You forget him if he's not happy lose him

talaniman · Dec 25, 2008, 08:56 PM

I think to say that we are using each other is somewhat off base.

That's the way it appears from what you wrote, so any additional info helps.