How to educate myself

kisses · Jul 15, 2006, 06:22 PM

Hi I am divorced and recently started dating again.
My new man is very open talking about sex but after 22 years years of a tame if not boring sex life I find it very difficult. I find I get embaressed easily although I would love to be able to talk dirty to him and tell him exactly what I want.
Where do I start and how can I get more open with him?? :confused:

talaniman · Jul 16, 2006, 05:56 AM

Getting to know him very well is a good start. After you see he is a good guy then the rest will come natural. Take your time and go slow and don't just fall for anything. On the other hand if all you want is a man..!

Cassie · Jul 16, 2006, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Getting to know him very well is a good start. After you see he is a good guy then the rest will come natural. Take your time and go slow and don't just fall for anything. On the other hand if all you want is a man..........................!!

Got to spread it around. I agree... tell it like it is Sam.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 16, 2006, 08:44 AM

Different people have various tastes, this is in all areas, clothes, food, religion and sex.

During the first dating stages, sex honestly ( not being a prude) should not even be in the issues until you know a lot about the person first, who he is, what he wants out of life, and how the two of you interact on boring Saturday evenings and busy Monday afternoons.

And if he is too open talking about sex, one has to be concerned if that is his main interest in a relationship. Also if he sees it is not how you react, and wish to talk about it, he should respect that feelings also.

After this is a older mature relationship yes couples should be free to talk about all areas of sex, even about it being boring but as a norm it is not the main topic in a new relationship.

Here_To_Help- Jon · Jul 16, 2006, 09:21 AM

First - I would share with him your "out of practice" concern and your desire for more intimate things "down the road". As a man, hearing this shows me 2 things - your ability to share and be honest... AND it gives me a hint as to what you are interested in once you feel a bit more comfortable. Both of which are turn-ons. Go for it...

valinors_sorrow · Jul 16, 2006, 09:25 AM

I am a firm believer in it takes women to teach women how to be women. :p

Go to your girlfriends and begin the dialogue there, asking them what they do. I found it a lot easier to break the ice there. Practice talking frankly and openly with them first and ask their advice about what to do specifically. I was amazed at how knowlegable mine were! :eek:

These are things I would have loved to have shared with my mom or sister but we were such a dysfunctional family that practically no intimate talking of any kind ever occurred. It took a lot of girlfriends (to which I am indebted LOL) to make for a happy love life for my hubby and me! :)

Krs · Jul 20, 2006, 05:07 AM

Wanted to spread the love Val and Tal, but can't :(
I agree with you both very good and different advice from both sides.

jc105 · Jul 20, 2006, 07:33 AM

My advice is, other than what's been said, is to remember we all have sex. Everyone... Its not dirty or bad, its great even. The more you talk about it with your partner the better it becomes.

You can't be afraid to tell him what he does right AND even more importantly wrong. Even if you decided to ask for something kinky, you'd hope that your guy would at least try once. Sex is fun and should be enjoyed, not feared.

Keep it open, always talk about sex with your partner, or friends in general. Make it normal and comfortable to not only have sex, but to discuss it.