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tigersbooboo · Dec 16, 2008, 07:16 AM

Okay, well I recently found out that my soon to be ex-husband is now dating someone that has openly admitted to having bi-polar condition. She is on medication to control it. I read about the condition and am now VERY SCARED about her being around my children. I have three young children, 6, 3 and 7 months. If she misses her medication I don't want my children to pay the cost. How can I prove in court that she cannot be around my children? At the moment he has temporary custody because I could not afford a lawyer in time. Not to mention he is a county deputee in the county we are going through our divorce. I know, it's stacked against me... HELP!!

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 07:40 AM

Yes I would say it sounds stacked against you. You would have to prove she is unfit through incidents involving the children. Many bi-polar people raise children and they even have the highs and lows of the problem and going on and off the meds. It really isn't an issue the court would take as threatening to the kids.

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 08:05 AM

I agree with N0 - you do not have much of a case against them due to the bipolar disorder. The court has no reason to believe that she is a danger to the kids. She is on her medication and understands the seriousness of her condition. She is doing everything right.

frangipanis · Dec 16, 2008, 03:03 PM

If she is openly admitting to having a bi-polar disorder and is on medication, then there's every chance she knows how to manage her condition. She would also know that if she ever became a danger to herself or to others she could be committed to a psychiatric ward. However, I believe the vast majority of people with bi-polar condition aren't dangerous to others.

Is it likely your ex would put your children at risk of being abused or neglected? Ask him if he's taken the time to understand her condition and how well he believes she's managing. Has he ever known her to deliberately stop taking her medication? If they're communicating well, he should know what signs to look out for and know what to do in case there's an emergency. He would also know how children can be supported when living with someone who suffers from bi-polar disorder.

I remember listening to a woman suffering from bi-polar in a radio interview who said she eventually realised she immediately needs to seek help if she starts to see life as a packet of jelly-beans and have the urge to jump on a plane for Paris. People who are bi-polar who get the right support can and do manage well.

div2wice · Dec 16, 2008, 09:11 PM

I have to agree. Just because she has BiPolar does not mean she is a danger to your kids. My husband has BiPolar and we have 4 kids, he has never, at any time, even during his worst cycles, put them in danger.
BiPolar is multi faceted. There are so many things to it. Some people are depressive, some are manic. Manic can mean a lot of things also: elated, extremely hiper and happy, going without sleep for days at a time, etc. While others are aggressive, angry, irritable during their mania phases.
Since you don't know her specific situation there is not much you can do at this time. You may approach the court and ask for supervised visitation since she has a mental illness, however it would be an uphill battle because the court may say the kids are safe because their dad is around.
Keep a close eye on the situation but without proof of her endangering the kids, there isn't much you can do.