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lorelai alice · Dec 15, 2008, 08:06 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for my whole pregnancy, her birth, and he still is there for us now. She is 2 months old and he wants to adopt her. Her real father has not seen her he is not on the birth certificate he has not tried to contact me or her since I got pregnant in January he wants nothing to do with her at all, would he still have to sign over his rights even if he is a minor, or does he even have any? And would my boyfriend be able to adopt her even if we are not married?

Synnen · Dec 15, 2008, 09:33 PM

1. Most states require marriage or a very long term commitment.

2. The biological father still has rights, and still must sign them over for an adoption to take place.

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

1. Most states require marriage or a very long term committment.

2. The biological father still has rights, and still must sign them over for an adoption to take place.

I'm not sure this is 100% accurate. The biological father only has rights if he is determined to be the legal father too, *I think*.

Check out the Family Law board. There was a discussion I was part of that Cadillac59 (A family law lawyer) stated that even though I am not the biological father of my girlfriend's son, I DO have a case to be made to be determined to be his legal father even though we are not married.

His opinion was based in CA, but said that the laws may be similar to where you live.

The question starts at post 10: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...on-285683.html

Synnen · Dec 16, 2008, 06:40 AM

If you take away the rights of biological parents without their consent, just because of something like not putting a name on a birth certificate---can you imagine the nightmare that adoption laws would become for those infertile couples adopting from strangers?

I see a lot of adoptions getting overturned if something that sneaky happens.

This is why I usually suggest seeing a lawyer in your area anytime someone brings up adoption. Local and state laws vary, and circumstances can put a spin on anything.

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by lorelai alice

my boyfriend and i have been together for my whole pregnancy, her birth, and he still is there for us now. she is 2 months old and he wants to adopt her. her real father has not seen her he is not on the birth certificate he has not tried to contact me or her since i got pregnant in January he wants nothing to do with her at all, would he still have to sign over his rights even if he is a minor, or does he even have any? And would my boyfriend be able to adopt her even if we are not married?

Also, him being a minor has no effect on his rights. He is the child's father no matter his age. While I brought up the point that it might be possible that your boyfriend adopts, the likelihood is probably not that great.

My *recommendation*: file for paternity and child support from the baby's biological father. If you and your boyfriend get married, the prospect of being able to get rid of a child support payment will likely factor into bio-dad's willingness to allow the adoption.

ScottGem · Dec 16, 2008, 07:06 AM

To clarify here, before an adoption can take place, a court is going to want to make sure the bio-father is willing to allow the adoption. While its true that he currently has no rights because he's not listed on the because the court is going to insist that you identify the father (or potential fathers) order paternity tests done and once the bio father is determined they will have to relinquish their rights voluntarily.

There are some exceptions to this, like if the bio-father is deceased or can't be found, but in the latter case, a good faith effort has to be shown to have been made to contact him.

As also pointed out, courts would like to see a stable relationship before allowing an adoption. So you would be better off waiting until you are married.

div2wice · Dec 16, 2008, 09:06 PM

From my understanding a boyfriend cannot adopt. He can only adopt the child if you two marry. The only time a father can or is able to sign over his parental rights is for a step parent adoption. Most states only allow step parent adoption if the two parents (biological mother and step father) are married.
His age doesn't have anything to do with signing over his rights, he is the biological father whether he is of age or not.

ScottGem · Dec 17, 2008, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by div2wice

From my understanding a boyfriend cannot adopt. He can only adopt the child if you two marry. The only time a father can or is able to sign over his parental rights is for a step parent adoption. Most states only allow step parent adoption if the two parents (biological mother and step father) are married.
His age doesn't have anything to do with signing over his rights, he is the biological father whether he is of age or not.

This is not 100% accurate. Some states do not require marriage to allow for a 3rd party adoption. And parents can sign over their rights for a variety of reasons. But both of those things are rare.