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student_worker2 · Dec 16, 2008, 09:14 AM

I didn't say my dad hates him... I said he isn't where he should be with my dad... and no I'm not telling my pastor that I'm having sex with this guy... and do you even know what fornication is because you are twisting adultry and fornication around... fornication is voluntary sexual intercourse between persons that are not married to each other and adultry is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by student_worker2

i do love my current bf and since i have comitted myself to him..the bible syas that i am practically married to him and we just haven't had the ceremony yet...and i have been sticking with him because of that....i just wish he was as spiritual or maybe even more spiritual than or as i am because i don't want to be dating an ungodly man

You are playing word games and it doesn't sound like you are being up front with the Pastor about your question so you can not expect to get a reply from him other than the reply you want. You are NOT married nor even practically married. You are toying with God on your interpretation to get the outcome YOU want to hear.
Anybody can interpret the Bible the way they want to make whatever they want appear okay.
You are not married to this guy.

You said your dad does not like him. So where does he need to be with your dad for him to like him?
I can't imagine your dad as a dad or a minister telling you that you are practically married and in God's eyes it is okay for you to be having sex with this guy.

I have a feeling you are going to have to learn the hard way so I am just wasting my time here.

student_worker2 · Dec 16, 2008, 09:25 AM

OK.I'm through talking about this because it's going nowhere

ZoeMarie · Dec 16, 2008, 09:41 AM

OK, with respect, the reason this isn't going anywhere is because you keep making up excuses.

student_worker2 · Dec 16, 2008, 09:43 AM

Excuses?. he has done nothing for me to break up with him except not be as religious as I want him to be...

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 09:44 AM

You already know what you want so why did you bother asking??

ZoeMarie · Dec 16, 2008, 09:52 AM

I'm sorry, but you don't seem very open-minded. What's the point of asking for advice?

Ber Rabbit · Dec 16, 2008, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by student_worker2

excuses?.....he has done nothing for me to break up with him except not be as religious as i want him to be.....

Playing Devil's Advocate here but what if the only thing he wants is you to be less religious. If it's fair for you to ask him to be more religious then it's fair for him to ask you to be less. Maybe he's on a forum somewhere saying "I really love my girlfriend but she's a religious freak. How do I make her understand I want a relationship with her but I don't have the dedication to God she has?"

You cannot make him into what he doesn't want to be. You cannot force him to be religious in the US; we enjoy freedom of religion here.

I'm beginning to think you are regretting the sin of having sex with him out of wedlock and now you're trying to justify it. You need to ask for forgiveness and let it go--and stop having sex with him.
Ber

student_worker2 · Dec 16, 2008, 10:23 AM

I have already stopped but as far as me not being open-minded... I disagree because I have accepted all of your advice on this but again... I give up because this is going nowhere and I'm starting to regret that I even put this on here

chrissymarie · Dec 16, 2008, 10:31 AM

Originally Posted by student_worker2

i have already stopped but as far as me not being open-minded...i disagree because i have accepted all of your advice on this but again....i give up because this is going nowhere and i'm starting to regret that i even put this on here

How about instead of giving up you take some constrctive critcism and make a change in your life and stop continuing on blindly down the path your headed?

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 10:34 AM

You have accepted advice so that would mean that when you talk to the pastor you are not going to question him on hypothetical characters that are married but rather ask about you and your boyfriend and be honest about your relationship.
Anything else and you are just wanting the answers you want.

student_worker2 · Dec 16, 2008, 10:42 AM

I didn't do that then so why would I do that now? I was just looking for suggestions on what to do... if that is what you want to call it...

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by student_worker2

basically it is since i have committed myself to him and we carry our relationship as if we were married...and my dad (minister),pastor,and youth minister has told me the same thing

You didn't do what then so why would you do what now?

Your statement here says that your dad (minister),pastor,and youth minister has told me the same thing. Same thing being it is okay to carry on your relationship as if you were married?
Like I said I can't imagine your dad giving you this advice as a dad or a minister.
You are not being honest with us about what you asked your dad specifically and I doubt you worded what you asked him to imply that you meant you and your boyfriend.
All I am saying is that if you tell your dad and the Pastor that you mean you and your boyfriend having sex before an actual ceremony, I bet you get a different answer than if you make it a sketchy hypothetical question.

student_worker2 · Dec 16, 2008, 11:04 AM

I was talking about using hypothetical characters... the sex issue is not what this is about... and as far as us carrying our relationship as though we were married... I meant that we have our relationship held as if we were married meaning that although we are not married we treat each other lik we are, we do things that married couples do, and we go by the rules of marriages... although we do not live together or have had aceremony yet

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 11:08 AM

Oh well that is how you should be it is called respect, valuing each others opinions, loving each other as a partner rather than controlling or doing your own thing to the point of hurting the other, etc...
It still sounds like you have already made up your mind that you want to be with this guy so what you need to do is accept that he is not spiritual, he is most likely going to be the way he is and you are not going to change him. Accept him as he is and work from there.

student_worker2 · Dec 16, 2008, 11:13 AM

I'm trying to but it seems to me like his faith id deteriorating

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 11:22 AM

Exactly what I was telling you in the beginning.
I have been through it with guys too many times. They are Prince Charming the first couple months or so, then once they think they have you wrapped around their finger they turn to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, then after they see how much they can get away with and you still stick with them they then just become all out jerks.
He is putting up a front to hold you so he will give you the right words, like I believe in God but I am just not into the Church stuff. Now you are seeing his actions are not living up to what he tells you. You need to let go of the emotional aspects and look at it from his actions, what you see and what you get and what it all adds up to.