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    oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    oldenoughtoknow Posts: 61, Reputation: 13
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    #1

    Dec 11, 2008, 06:53 AM
    Involved with a married woman
    Hi,

    I had been single for the past two years after a very bad relationship until I met a woman 10 years older then me and married, we just clicked, it was obvious we both liked each other straight away. She was upfront about being married from the start, I'd never normally get involved with someone already taken but it just felt right. We've met up everyday since we've 1st met over 2 months ago and she has said she loves me and I feel very strongly about her too. We recently had a fight over something I can't even remember and its just caused us to argue over the stupidest things and now she has gone cold. She's suggested that we see less of each other. She's said her feelings for me haven't changed but that we got too serious too quick. I don't know what to do for the best. I know I shouldn't have got involved in the first place but I don't want to finish it. Is it doomed to fail?
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #2

    Dec 11, 2008, 06:57 AM

    Yes, it is doomed to fail. You are going to catch a lot of flack for getting involved with a married woman. You both are cheaters! You say it just felt right... what exactly feels right about doing something like this? I think you both should sit down and talk to the husband... maybe the three of you can come to a rational decision that works best for all. This way, everyone can be happy... tell me she doesn't have children?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Dec 11, 2008, 06:57 AM
    Of course it's doomed to fail, it was from the get go... She's MARRIED. Let her go and find someone who is actually available.
    oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    oldenoughtoknow Posts: 61, Reputation: 13
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    #4

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:01 AM

    No she doesn't have any children
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:02 AM
    She is still married. If you want her, wait until the divorce is final.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #6

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:04 AM

    Yes, you will fail in this attempt.

    This will ruin her marriage and your actions will ruin her family.

    She is a cheater and you are an enabler.

    Walk away, just walk away.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #7

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:04 AM

    Who said anything about a divorce? Do they plan on getting a divorce?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #8

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:06 AM
    I said something about a divorce. He should not be dating a married woman. If he wants to continue to date her, wait until her divorce is final or move on.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #9

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:08 AM

    I know you said something about divorce. My point is, he never said that the woman he was involved with is even considering divorce. You said, "Wait until the divorce is final," which implies that they are in the process of getting a divorce. That is why I asked the question, because I saw nothing even mentioned of her contemplating such a thing... sorry for the confusion.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #10

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:11 AM
    I just meant that he should not be dating a married woman. LOL
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #11

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:12 AM

    True! The thread is over and the answers you need are now clear... quit dating her and find someone who isn't married... and someone who wouldn't cheat for that matter.
    oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    oldenoughtoknow Posts: 61, Reputation: 13
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    #12

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:30 AM

    She hasn't mentioned divorce. She said she was in a sexless marriage not a loveless one. We don't talk about her marriage at all when we are together.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #13

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:36 AM

    Of course you don't talk about her marriage - she's cheating, she SHOULD be ashamed... you should be too.

    Who cares if it's a sexless marriage - that doesn't give her the right to have an affair.

    Run man, run.
    wolfgangqpublic's Avatar
    wolfgangqpublic Posts: 189, Reputation: 29
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    #14

    Dec 11, 2008, 08:48 AM

    No respect.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #15

    Dec 11, 2008, 09:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by oldenoughtoknow View Post
    she said she was in a sexless marriage
    That's the same excuse all cheaters give.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #16

    Dec 11, 2008, 09:05 AM


    They still love each other, but since they don't have sex anymore then it is all right that she has sex with another guy :rolleyes: I bet she even got permission from her husband on this...
    Wrenn's Avatar
    Wrenn Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
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    #17

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:39 AM
    Yeah, leave this broad alone. She is wayward, dishonest and even though she might have good qualities, she is not relationship material with anyone right now. If you're looking for someone who is truly unavailable and unable to commit, there are many singles out there who only want no-strings-attached. Let's say she left her spouse for you: yeah, it'd be fun for a little while, but then you'd get paranoid, wondering if she's going to do to you what she's done to her husband: BETRAYL. Cheating is ugly and there's nothing sexy and exciting about a clandestine affair. It's nerve-wracking and it hacks at your conscience. Not to mention the creation of negative karma. Go have fun with other un-married people.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #18

    Dec 12, 2008, 02:33 PM

    But it just felt right
    No it didn't, you were a horn dog, and got a cheap thrill, that was easy. That doesn't make it right, as helping someone cheat never is.
    southerngalps's Avatar
    southerngalps Posts: 1,334, Reputation: 112
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    #19

    Dec 12, 2008, 02:40 PM

    This relationship will only cause pain, not happiness.

    Find someone that can be there 100%, devoted to you!
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #20

    Dec 12, 2008, 02:46 PM

    Messing around with a married woman can only lead to the husband chasing you around with bat.

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