Check out some similar questions!

Belanger · Dec 10, 2008, 04:05 AM

OK well to start things off I'm doing a little research for my sister. I'm 21 and grew up in care also. Never had anything wrong against the family I lived with. My sister still lives with the same family. She is currently 18 years old and has a 2 week old baby. She wants to move into her boyfriends home. They have been in a relationship for about 3 1/2 years. He is a good guy and can financially support both my sister and their new baby girl. As for his side of the family his parents are willing to help out if needed. My sister would have a good place to go and a nice home that her boyfriend has created for her. Now there are a couple of problems that I'm not to sure of...
First. My sister would like to have the father over to help out and he wants to see his daughter but the foster patents say he is not aloud over. I don't think this is fair.
2nd. The foster parents say that Jane (my sister) needs to get married before she can go move in with her boyfriend. She tells me she plans of marrying him but not this second its to soon. I think she just had a baby and never lived with him she should live with him a while and then get married. The foster parents don't think the same way... is this aloud?
3rd.. what is stopping my sister from leaving? Like what are her rights? They threaten to take the baby if she leaves the home. They want her to go through some parenting courses, which I think are great she agrees and wants to do them. She has a curfew and has to be home by 6 and she tells me that's when her boyfriend gets off work so that leaves no time at all for him to see his daughter.

If someone can get me a link to her rights that would be great.
We live in Vancouver BC Canada.
I just wanted to do some homework and review what I could online and ask questions and get opinions on the situation. I told her to wait it out a couple months, then when she has been there for 4 months or so and has proven she can be a good mom and care for her child that I wouldn't see a problem with her wanting to move. But who knows they may not let her and well this is why I want to know her rights for when that time comes.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 10, 2008, 06:33 AM

Who has legal custody of the baby ?

Is the 18 year old still in high school ?

Why is she in foster care,

Normally nothing is stopping her from leaving, why does she not want to get married ?

Is this the babies father, if not where is he

N0help4u · Dec 10, 2008, 06:35 AM

What is stopping your sister from leaving?
Does the court say she has to stay until she is 21 or something?
If it doesn't then they are just wanting her to respect their wishes as her foster parents. You would have to go by what HER court order says.

The 'normal old fashioned' way to get married was get married and then move in. If it is too soon to get married it is too soon to move in

I take it the father of the baby and the boyfriend are the same. He can go file for visitations so he can at least see the baby. They could either probably have the boyfriend visit at their house or he could get the baby on weekends or however the court order would say.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 10, 2008, 07:03 AM

And a second thought, what is keeping this man from coming to see her at her house, so she can't go out after 6? He can come see her, get to know the foster parents and the child.

Belanger · Dec 10, 2008, 08:46 AM

Her boyfriend father is not welcome at the house by the foster parents.
My sister has legal custody. My sister is graduated and went through this hair cutting coarse after she graduated. She is in care for the same reason as I was. Our mother was unable to take care of us. Well as my sister told me she said if she was to leave (which she wants to) the ministry would take her daughter.

N0help4u · Dec 10, 2008, 03:47 PM

That doesn't stop the father from getting a court order for the Judge to give him orders for visitations. Then the foster family would have to follow the court order however the Judge would decide to do it.
At what age is she allowed to leave the foster home?
I think she needs to get a CASA worker or something to make sure her rights are not being violated

Belanger · Dec 10, 2008, 11:18 PM

What does casa stand for? Is there not a site online that lists all of the rights as a foster child. She can legally leave at 19. But then what's to say that they won't keep the baby in care. She just wants to leave now and go live with her boyfriend. She is just warried they will take her baby as they have already told her they would if she left.

450donn · Dec 11, 2008, 08:17 AM

Generally speaking the state has no legal rights to a person once they are 18 years old. Why would the ministry? Take the baby?

Belanger · Dec 13, 2008, 12:47 AM

I thought it was 19 cause I moved out when I was 18 and they paid for my rent for the 3 months that I was on my own before I turned 19. Now in her situation she's a new mom and 18 of coarse and they are trying to say she is unfit to be a mother if she is out of care. So saying that without the foster parents around she would no longer be able to cope. But this is not true. So what exactly would happen if she was to leave on her own and live with her boyfriend. And raise a child in his home in a good environment?

N0help4u · Dec 13, 2008, 04:24 AM

Originally Posted by Belanger

what does casa stand for? is there not a site online that lists all of the rights as a foster child. she can legally leave at 19. but then whats to say that they wont keep the baby in care. she just wants to leave now and go live with her bf. she is just warried they will take her baby as they have already told her they would if she left.

CASA is a rights for the child in the Children's Service. The Children's Service CPS, DHS, or whatever you call it there should have a booklet on your rights. Ask them about Children's Advocates and CASA. You have to go by what your court order says. Is the foster parents your legal guardian until 18 or 21?
I do believe that if you and your boyfriend get married, prove he is the father, one of you work and you have a roof over the baby's head and prove you can provide for the baby there really shouldn't be anything your foster parents can do to take the baby unless they prove you are unfit.

startover22 · Dec 14, 2008, 12:35 PM

It looks as if the foster parents are scaring your sister into doing what they want her to do. She is 18, she needs to get with her case worker and talk about a few things, all of the above mentioned questions and the "after care program" they help with school and food and rent if she stays in school. They can help her find a job, and good support groups. Good luck to her!