Originally Posted by
blmtsi
In reply to Clough:
Yes, I have confronted him before, but when I do sit down with him he starts yelling and screaming that he doesn't have any problems and he doesn't need to go see a doctor. I'm not really sure what else I can do, or how else to approach this subject with him. I don't yell back at him, but instead I stay calm and once I have no more patience I just walk away so I don't make the situation worse. Do you have any other ideas?
Thanks, blmtsi!
I do have one more idea for you in addition to the advice that you've already been given, and that would be to not just walk away, but walk away with an attitude that might make him "see the light" as to why you're walking away and hopefully make him realize that he might risk losing you if he continues in his present behavior.
I would go so far as to calmly, but firmly tell him, that if he doesn't "shape up", that you're going to "ship out".
Just as he must come to grips with what he's done in so many ways by his actions, and perhaps hit rock bottom, as so many do, you also have your sanity to protect as well as to live your life free of someone who seems to care only about himself and not others who love him. If a person truly loves others, they make the plans and take the time to give love and also receive love due to it being nurtured in an appropriate, unselfish way.
I know that you hurt because of the situation. The more that a person cares, the more that they hurt. However, it really doesn't look like he's hurting because of caring - yet. Maybe he'll hurt more when he truly sees what he's lost because of not caring.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry so much about making a situation worse, but to be more mindful and concerned that you've done what you can and move on if you need to. I wouldn't doubt that that there's been some enabling behavior by others toward him as well as co-dependency issues going on here.
As such, I'm not so sure that we have the full story as to really
why you're needing to ask your original question. It would help to have the full story here.
One further thought that I'd like to leave you with is this, a person can only be responsible for that which they
can be responsible. Just something to think about...
Do you have any siblings who are also his children by blood, please?
Thanks!