[In God We Trust]

My Husband and I have been trying for about a year now, have tried everything in the books. We both went to the Doctor to get checked out. We both have been taking our vitamins and I take folic acid and drink green tea and there's a pregnancy tea out their that I have looked into.

We are trying to stay away from infertility. We would like to do an all natural conception and birth.

I have four brothers and two of them are married. When the first couple got pregnant I started with the baby fever, some call it. Then the next brother had a baby. When she was in the delivery room, I thought to myself, I will be the next one in here, hopefully. Well the second couple just informed the family on Thanksgiving that they are pregnant again. Their first child will be one in February. I had to leave because I couldn't help but cry. I am really not stressing about it too much, but it just seems that every person I see pregnant or with a small baby, I cry.

I just don't know what else to do. Please help!

[NowWhat]

Well, you say you are "really not stressing about it too much", but by what you write, you obviously are.

It can take healthy couples up to a year to conceive. And you are there. You said that you both went to the doctor and got checked out. What exactly was checked? Just general health?
Now that you have been trying for a while, you may want to go back to the doctor and see if there is a fertility problem. I know you said you wanted to stay away from fertility treatments - but you may want to just go and see if there is an issue. That doesn't mean you have to start any treatments.

First thing you need to do is relax.
Are you tracking your cycle and know when you are most fertile?

[Wondergirl]

It doesn't always happen overnight. It took me about three years to get pregnant after I stopped taking the Pill. It turned out that my husband soaked in long, hot baths and wore tight underwear--big no-no's. Stress is another no-no.

Make sure he is wearing boxers and taking short warm showers. Then, just get on with your life and enjoy the peace and quiet the two of you have now, because that will truly change once a baby has arrived. Make sex fun so the sperm will smile again and be relaxed as they search out eggs merrily bouncing along in your Fallopian tubes.

[In God We Trust]

Yes, we got our general health checked. So we need to go back to the doctor and get check for fertility? Any tips on how to relax? My husband is 28 and I am 22. Could that have anything to do with it? We would like to have a big family, but if we don't get started on it soon, we don't be able to.

Thanks for your answer!

[NowWhat]

If it has been a year of trying, you can go to your OB/GYN and let them know. They will guide you in the right direction of what next.

I honestly think you maybe stressing yourself out. By what you write, you want this so badly. You really need to relax and let nature do it's job.
Relax by not worring if "this month is THE month".
And you are young. You have PLENTY of time to have that big family. Of course, after the first one and reality sets in you may be okay with just one.

[Wondergirl]

My husband is 28 and i am 22.

Good heavens! You are just puppies! I was 25 before the first one came along. After I had the second one at 29 and mentioned I wanted two more, my husband screamed, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" so that was that.

Be sure you can afford a "big family" (whatever that means to you) and will be good parents (not two-jobs-each parents like my neighbors with six kids whom they never see because they have to work to put bread on the table).

How to avoid stress? Stop thinking-talking-wondering-dreaming about having a baby. Couples who stress and don't get pregnant and then adopt often get pregnant around the time they sign the adoption papers, once they've stopped stressing.

How to stop stressing? Take college classes for stuff you want to learn about, start a new hobby like scrapbooking or karate, go on nice vacations (places you can't go to with a baby, like to a jungle or mountain climbing), do things that will raise your consciousness--read more books and listen to more music and practice cooking together and join a church.