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applelonia · Jun 26, 2006, 11:43 PM

My 15yr.old Nephew Is A Teenage Molester. My Sister Wants Me To Help Her Get Him Help, But We Can't Find Anyone That Will Help Her W/o Threatening To Turn Her In To Have Her Other Kids Taken Away. I Have Called Every Mental Facility In Our State. They All Say They Will Turn Her In To Dhs. This Is Sooo Scarey For Us. If We Tell Someone This Situation He Will Be Put In State's Custody Where He Will Shut Down, Rebel, Never Get Help, And Become An Adult Rapist/ Molestor. As Well As The Other Children Will Be Taken Away. On The Other Hand If We Don't Get Him Help He Will Be A Rapist.

ndx · Jun 26, 2006, 11:53 PM

So, you are willing for molestations to still happen? When people do things that show themselves and others such distrespect like that, I think they give up their right for "give him help, see what happens" , he will be a rapist on his own accord, turn him in, because it's the best thing to do for everyone, including yourself.

If he has done it, and done it before, even though you can't prodict the future, he has done sificient to be awarded somekind of punishment for being completely gross and doing those things to people.

Get him help, and if that means doing time, then who's fault is that? Not yours.

And this guy is a bit funny in the head if you think he will end up being a rapist. He deservs to be where he should be, behind some bars where the only thing that he can rape is himself.

applelonia · Jun 27, 2006, 12:40 AM

Up until now, he hasn't been with his mother for 12yrs. His father ran off with him (when he was 3yrs). When his father brought him to his mother (6mths ago) he was meeting his mom for the first time. His father has him a 15 yr. old in the 7th grade, due to lack of parenting skills or whatever. Now, we are learning, with these disturbing behaviors. She just met her son she doesn't want to give up on him like his father did by just dropping him off (with strangers) we want him to get help... now

rd68 · Jun 27, 2006, 07:17 AM

The best thing for him is to be put in dhs coustedy.When he does get out and if he does the same thing again he will go to prison.And be a prison b!#$h couse they hate molesters in their.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 27, 2006, 07:21 AM

First of all, how do you know that this person is a molester? How do you know for a fact? Give us some facts to go by then I can make a judgement call.

Joe

RickJ · Jun 27, 2006, 08:00 AM

Be strong. If you know with certainty that he has molested children, tell him to turn himself in immediately or that you will.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 27, 2006, 08:52 AM

Why is not anybody asking her what proof does she have. Give us examples, tell us what was done. How old are all the children involved? Were the police involved to begin a proper investigation. Come on now, you have the facts. Lets see them and then go on from there.

Joe

applelonia · Jun 27, 2006, 09:17 AM

Okay... if I Give Facts Then What?? I Need To Know If There Is Help For Him Other Than Turning Him In To Authorities. I Know He Needs To Be Stopped, But Why Does He Have To Be Put Into A Negative System For Results. He Is A Child Himself Needing To Be Directed Instead Of Being Automatically Punished. Even Though He Has Been Punished For Recent Events. I Am Trying... trying Hard To Help Him First. Is There Not Any Help In Or Out Patient For Him?? If There Isn't Help Why Not Then? The System Causes Families To Hide And Try To Figure It Out Themselves Instead Of Offering An Alternative Solution To Incarceration Of This Young Boy.

J_9 · Jun 27, 2006, 09:22 AM

Hun, we don't know where you are, and we have no proof to back us up in turning him in. For us to help you better we need to know circumstances. Who has he molested (don't give us a name)? How do you know this for a fact? Have the police been called in?

Just give us the whole story so that we can better answer your questions. Many things determine what will happen to him. How old was he at the time? Was the molestee a willing participant? How old was the molestee? That sort of thing.

applelonia · Jun 27, 2006, 10:18 AM

Okay that's fair enough. Like i said he just got dropped off to his mother 6mths ago. Living with his father he has 3 younger sisters(ages 13,8,4), with his mother he has 2 younger brothers(10,7) and 3 younger sisters(6,5,3). When his father dropped him off he said be careful with him around your daughters (he only just turned 15yrs. Last month) she didn't think anything about it until my 3yr. Old niece said he was being nasty with her trying to do things to her. (she was detailed, it got far enough for major concerns, and action) we sat with him because my sister was floored and didn't think she could handle herself talking with him alone, so that's where i came in to the picture. He knows it is wrong. He needs help... immediately. I haven't told anybody directly, but i've been trying hard to get some help. He needs support (helping this) not abondonment shipping him off to somewhere where he will be locked away. i'm scared about this situation, even though we monitor him costantly. Nobody is allowed to be alone for any reason with him. i'm scared that this will lead into adulthood by the choices we make now as authority figures. If we don't do something quick. I need help not criticsm. If this was anybody else i would say the same thing, lock him up and throw away the key... but... i can't because i look at him... with my own eyes... and he is so much more than this... i pray there is help... please just help.

Curlyben · Jun 27, 2006, 10:22 AM

Applelonia, please turn off your Caps Lock as you are SHOUTING at us all.

Yes I have already PM'd this member a coupls of times about this, but they are being ignored.

J_9 · Jun 27, 2006, 10:30 AM

Ben, I can't read yellow!!

Maybe I am getting old!

Thanks for the Shouting help!

applelonia · Jun 27, 2006, 10:53 AM

I did not know... about the caps

J_9 · Jun 27, 2006, 10:56 AM

You don't know what?

If you don't know circumstances, maybe it is someone just trying to get him in trouble and it is not true.

Just a guess.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 27, 2006, 11:13 AM

I did not say anything about locking the doors. Where is the proof. You still have not told us what he supposedly did. So come out with it. Then we can help you better. I do not understand this ----- footing around. Eighter you want help or you do not. How is this critism asking for facts. You are the one who asked for help. I never said anything about locking him up and throwing away the key. So what is it going to be? There is counseling. There is many other options but you have yet to have any concrete proof or even explain the situation properly. There is help out there. First, there needs to be an investigation to know exactly what has happened. I agree with the post below that everybody needs counseling.

Joe

talaniman · Jun 27, 2006, 11:22 AM

A therapist is needed immediately!

Here_To_Help- Jon · Jun 27, 2006, 11:36 AM

Applelonia.. Youve had 2 posts on this board... both extremely dramatic. Id like to know a little about you - your family situation, and your extended family situation.

Yes - the nephew molester situation is scarey for you.. but it is even scarier for those that are being molested. He needs help - period. I don't know what country your in, but starting the help process (in the USA) is not an automatic sentence to a life of misery. It is a first step. Take it.

phillysteakandcheese · Jun 27, 2006, 12:27 PM

What kind of "help" do you think you can get him without getting him into any trouble?

Trying to sexualize a three year old is trouble. He's going to be in trouble. The family is going to be in trouble. Everyone involved is going to be in some sort of trouble around this.

I cannot believe you are willing to put your own niece at risk because you want avoid getting him and his family in trouble.

You know what the right thing to do is. Have the strength of character to do it.

Cgirl · Jun 27, 2006, 12:51 PM

Okay, first of all, everyone needs to read ALL of the posts before they post, she did tell us the whole story of what he did, as far as what she knows, and chances are, if this boy had a rough situation with his dad, he may have been molested himself. I do agree, it is terrible what he did, and he MUST be taken out of the home Immediately, and not exposed to any other children at this point, but there are places that can try to help this boy, like group homes, etc. Your best bet would be to consult a child advocate group in your area where you live that can get this boy the help he needs... and deserves. Yes, it is TERRIBLE what he did, but come on everyone, she is asking for help here, lets not all jump down her throat!

J_9 · Jun 27, 2006, 12:54 PM

Okay, this boy needs to be in counseling. Doctor/patient privilege may keep him out of jail, maybe not, but just a thought.

I agree with Cgirl that this boy was probably abused himself and to him this is not unusual.

Also, think of the 3 year old. If this has affected her terribly and noticibly, you may want to seek counseling for her too.