[depressionsthename]

Here's the thing, I've been with my girlfriend for about two months now and its been a great time but just recently about a month ago I lost three family members in a strange freak accident. That wasn't all. Now my cousins in a comma, and my parents are about to get divorced after an 18 year marriage. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my girlfriend breaks up with me, deciding that she still loves her ex. My life is completely shattering around me. I don't no what to do. Will somebody please help me..

[ndx]

I think first thing, is make sure you have a good friend base, and get out as much as you can with them. Going out helps depression to no extent.

Secondly speak to a doctor about all of these problems, and someone to talk to will ease the strain.

Third, man, that is completely, I don't know, I feel very sorry for you, but if I was you, I would need to talk to a doctor, and cry my eyes out. So, I suggest you do that, but remember that you have done nothing wrong, and none of it is personal. Sometimes **** happens all in one go. In 5 years time, things will be normal, and you will be a much stronger person. But in the mean time, go out, have as much fun to take your mind of things as you can, go talk to someone, and remind yourself its not your fault! :)

-Chris.

Best of luck mate.

[magprob]

The bad things that happen to us in our life are the fertilizer that makes us grow. Your only responsibility to yourself is to not go completely off the deep end and get yourself in trouble by doing something you will always regret. Get someone to confide in and do not turn to drugs or alcohol. They will only intensify your pain. When it all passes, life will be sweeter than it has ever been. I know that from experience. Just take care of yourself by being active with positive pursuits and people. Good luck!

[Krs]

Im so sorry to hear all of this.
I believe in the saying - its never rains it pours.

2 years I ago lost 3 family members in a space of 6 months. 1 of them was my dear dad.
Life is full surprises and these things happen to the best of us.
When I went through my trauma I thought the sun will never shine back in my life, I thought that was the end for me. People used to tell me time is a healer and I hated it when people said that because back then I thought it wasn't true. Time would never heal the pain I'm feeling.

Now I realise they were right. As sad as it sounds, I believe when an individual goes through horrific experiences they turn out to be stronger people in the end.

Im afraid I can't really help you, no one can. You have to help yourself.
I would make an appoitment with a physcologist at your earliest, and talk to this doctor about all this trauma in your life, and it will help day by day get through it. Crying is good too and don't be ashamed to cry, if you keep it all bottled up it will explode when you least expect it to.
Meet up with close friends, and try keep yourself as busy as possible don't seclude yourself, please.

We are here if you if you want to talk, we all have our ears open :)

[Krs]

Thank you. It is from the heart because I know what it means.

[valinors_sorrow]

Put one foot in front of the other, and chant when necessary... this too shall pass, this too shall pass. Trudge even.

Talk to anyone you trust, holding things in is bad for humans. If you are talking to your parents, offer some support even, they may need it and it will lift you a bit.

Recall the hard things in your past that turned out for the better. I like to think all the red lights I hit going home is to save me from the accident I was about to have. Not that your stuff is so lightweight, okay?

Perspective matters so try not to be looking down all the time. Go outside, and look at the sky. Remind yourself that you count, and you will survive.

Thanks for posting, and I hope this helps, if only a little.

[Chery]

You've made a step forward and reached out to us - and I'm glad you did. It's so easy to turn 'introtverted' in times like this - and it can take a long time getting out of it.

You do need a period of mourning, and also healing. But, please don't do it alone. If there is a bereavement center in your area, or a church, go there and gain a little support from those that will understand what you are going through.

Therapy is also helpful, but don't let anyone prescribe antidepressants just yet. They can do just as much harm as good. And if you were generally healthy before all this happened, you don't want to get used to medication the rest of your life - that's a crutch.

Stay with us, and just let it all out any time, we'll be here for you.

All the best.

[Kadehadaire]

You are an amazing person for sharing. :)

[Here_To_Help- Jon]

Sorry to hear about your current situation. Suggest that you make a list of resources that you have that you can count on and what you can count on them for... support, love, meals. Then use those resources to help get along in this tough time. There is no doubt that it is the hardest to "reach out" when you yourself are down.. but - its also what you need/must do. There is no reason for you to go this alone. You've made a great step in coming here... Use the resources and also seek some counseling... and lastly.. from George Harrison.. "all things must pass"... hang in there... jonB

[Proteinboy]

Just find something that will get you from doing nothing... when you do nothing you just think about how bad things are. I suggest go to church or try coping with some close friends.

I partly dissagree with what some others suggest above... seeing a doctor or a phsyciatrist will not automatically make things better because the thing is: they don't REALLY care about you. You are one of the 10 patients they will see today. A real friend will help patch up more than a doctor can do in months. They are the ones that care about you; they love you.

And so does God...

[Chery]

i partly dissagree with what some others suggest above...seeing a doctor or a phsyciatrist will not automatically make things better because the thing is: they dont REALLY care about you. You are one of the 10 patients they will see today. A real friend will help patch up more than a doctor can do in months. they are the ones that care about you; they love you.

and so does God...

The way I see it, yes - therapists do see a lot of people - and all of those people need help or there would be no need for therapist. It's not a therapist's job to take it all away from you, the job is to help you put things in perspective - from the outside - so that you can organize a confusing issue and work on it.

There are those that just prescribe medication and let you go, but there are doctors that treat the symptoms and not causes also - and the patients lose.

There are also other organizations, church related, or neighborhood self-help organizations that do a pretty good job. The point is NOT to do this alone!

And, truthfully, God has so much on his plate that we sometimes have to take things into our own hands.

Friends are sometimes too close and cannot be unbiased - which can cause a person to want to escape it all or not open up for fear of losing the friendship.

At any rate, each of us are unique with unique problems but we should not delve into solving them alone - reaching out is very important.

[Krs]

just find something that will get you from doing nothing...when you do nothing you just think about how bad things are. I suggest go to church or try coping with some close friends.

i partly dissagree with what some others suggest above...seeing a doctor or a phsyciatrist will not automatically make things better because the thing is: they dont REALLY care about you. You are one of the 10 patients they will see today. A real friend will help patch up more than a doctor can do in months. they are the ones that care about you; they love you.

and so does God...

You are right to some extent but wrong in the other about seeing a physcologist. Not a physciatrist.

Physciatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders.
Physcologist is a specialist who can talk with patients and their families about emotional and personal matters, and can help them make decisions.

And friends are the people you need to help you through this day by day. But then as Chery said above there are some friends who lose total contact with you after you've suffered a trauma, I've seen it, done to me and also done to my mum after dad passed away. Some friends just don't know how to handle loss, grief or some don't even know what to say to you, so there way of dealing with it, is to slowly cut off contact.

The main issue is if you go to any of the doctors above without the intention of helping yourself get through this, then there is definitely no point in going!
The pain will slowly disolve if you are willing to let is disolve.
Only the person concerned can do this, bare that in mind!
You always have to walk in there with a broad mind, otherwise its pointless!

[Chery]

Krs, was told to spead it... but you are absolutely right -

No matter who you go to for help, you've got to want it, be honest, and open for suggestions.

[Krs]

Thank you Chery :)

[stonewilder]

Wow! I’m in a similar situation but not even nearly so traumatic. I don’t know what to say or how to help you but I feel so terrible for you. Life can be so hard and sometimes it feels like some unseen force is trying to push you off a cliff not before hurting you in every way that seems possible. All I can tell you is keep fighting and don’t give up.

[stonewilder]

[QUOTE=Krs

And friends are the people you need to help you through this day by day. But then as Chery said above there are some friends who lose total contact with you after you've suffered a trauma, I've seen it, done to me and also done to my mum after dad passed away. Some friends just don't know how to handle loss, grief or some don't even know what to say to you, so there way of dealing with it, is to slowly cut off contact.



This is so true! I thought it was something I had done.

[depressionsthename]

Thanks for your help everyone!
You've helped me through some rough times

[firediva87]

heres the thing, ive been with my girlfriend for about two months now and its been a great time but just recently about a month ago i lost three family members in a strange freak accident. that wasnt all. now my cousins in a comma, and my parents are about to get divorced after an 18 year marriage. just when i thought things couldnt get any worse, my girlfriend breaks up with me, deciding that she still loves her ex. my life is completely shattering around me. i dont no wat to do. will somebody help me....?

You have too many problems right now to worry about your girlfriend. Just focus on yourself and healing all these emotional issues you are going through. Losing people is always going to be hard and although it feels like things are never going to get better and that you almost don't want to to let go, people are not lying to you when they tell you that time heals. Remember to cry and morn on your own because the worst mistake you can make is to stop caring. It's all a slippery slope from there. Remember to love yourself and make certain not to blame yourself. Your parents are clearly also going through a difficult time, that often results from the death children. Remember they still love you. Find a good friend who you can rely on and talk to. Just don't be too much of burden on them or they'll push you away, even if they care, it can just be too much for other people to handle. Although it's a really diffult thing to do, if you can muster up the courage to see a counselor I highly recommend it, that way you don't overload your friends with your pain. They are paid to help and listen to you and it really will help you. Also if your friends do feel overwhelmed it's not really you it's just they have their own issues, although minor in comparrison to yours it's not fair to put all that on them. Things WILL get better and in time the pain will fade and you will actually grow from all this. I know that seems unlikely now but I have gone through situations myself and things really will get better I promise, just hold in there and keeps on living. The world is never going to stop turning no matter how much you wish it would. So you keep on trodding along and eventually you will learn to be happy again.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, just please don't lose hope.