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    4eml's Avatar
    4eml Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 19, 2008, 09:32 PM
    Dating a level 1 sex offender
    I am dating a level 1 sex offender who earned this title by a crappy attorney and being set up by marrying into an incest family knowingly after the fact.
    Him being a level 1 offender and having to see a corrections officer through DOC (Department of Corrections) twice a month and them basically ruling his life.
    Me, never been in trouble with the law, I need to meet with his CO before I can move this relationship further.
    My questions are as follows:
    1.) Can DOC and the CO legally stop us from seeing one another or getting married if that should come about?
    2.) What are my rights since I have to see the CO with the DOC just to be involved with this man?
    3.) What questions are not legal for the CO to confront me about or ask since I am a civilian?

    Thank you
    4eml's Avatar
    4eml Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Nov 20, 2008, 12:04 AM

    Re: my post on "Dating a level 1 sex offender" I did forget to mention he is innocent!!!
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #3

    Nov 20, 2008, 05:24 AM

    Dearie, everyone in jail is innocent, too. You've only heard his doctored up side of the story and there are two sides to every story. Just keep on listening to him and believing him and you'll have more trouble than you can shake a stick at.

    Would suggest that you seriously rethink your new relationship if he has to report twice a month.

    Don't have any answers to what they can and can't ask you when you meet with the PO.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #4

    Nov 20, 2008, 06:02 AM

    Whether he did anything wrong isn't the same thing as him being innocent. The court called him guilty, therefor he is guilty.

    As for what the CO can ask you, the answer is anything he wants. You are under no obligation to answer. More than likely all he is going to do is make sure YOU are aware of what you are getting yourself into. He isn't there to prosecute you - he is there to protect you.

    The DOC cannot control what you do, but they can revoke his parole/probation easily... so if they choose to make his life difficult, they can.

    All that being said - I would listen to whatever the CO has to say and take it VERY seriously. Bottom line: the CO/DOC has no control over you. Its him they are concerned with.
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
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    #5

    Nov 20, 2008, 08:56 AM

    Is this 'bad boy' really worth the trouble?

    There has got to be thousands of men out there willing and not in trouble,without baggage,not playing victim,and better off than this guy!

    If its chaos you want in your life,keep pursuing this person and accept the CO's questions,stay under the thumb of outside authority,and good luck.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Nov 20, 2008, 09:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by 4eml View Post
    I am dating a level 1 sex offender who earned this title by a crappy attorney and being set up by marrying into an incest family knowingly after the fact.
    Him being a level 1 offender and having to see a corrections officer thru DOC (Department of Corrections) twice a month and them basically ruling his life.
    Me, never been in trouble with the law, I need to meet with his CO before I can move this relationship further.
    My questions are as follows:
    1.) Can DOC and the CO legally stop us from seeing one another or getting married if that should come about?
    2.) What are my rights since I have to see the CO with the DOC just to be involved with this man?
    3.) What questions are not legal for the CO to confront me about or ask since I am a civilian?

    Thank you


    He married into an "incest family" (can you explain what that means?) but he was arrested and found guilty for doing nothing?

    If you are going to continue dating this man you should research the law as it applies in YOUR State because it is going to affect YOUR relationship with your family, friends, neighbors and if you live together YOUR ADDRESS will appear on the sex offender registry with is public record.

    I don't know how the "crappy" Attorney caused him to be found guilty - there either was or was not evidence.

    Are you also posting in another name - same or similar questions? If I am incorrect I apologize - but I see similarities, BIG similarities, in wording and content as well as posting times, one following another.
    lawanwadee's Avatar
    lawanwadee Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 124
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    #7

    Nov 20, 2008, 10:31 AM

    1. He's playing a victim with you. There are always two sides of a story, and you only know one.

    2. Individuals are not easily charged as "sex offender", there must be lots of evidences, witnesses, which in this case, no attorney could do much, not that he/she is "crappy".

    3. Nobody would tell negative things about themselves, especially with people who know nothing about his/her past...

    4. The DOC cannot control you, but they can control him. His parole/probation could be revoked easily should they want to give him a hard time.

    5. This boy is not worth all the troubles you have and will be having... study state laws and find out what to do, implications, pros and cons, etc. when your address appears in public record as sex offender, or when you see his true color and want to get out, etc. You should consult the attorney in details about too many issues before making a decision...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Nov 20, 2008, 11:13 AM

    Sadly this is a common ploy of people who are getting out in prison. They want you to see him as the victim.
    I worked in prisons for years and almost none of them ever did they crime, at least according to them.

    First.
    Married into a incest family,
    Give me a break, during all the time of dating he did not see the evil of these people but wanted to marry them anyway. And guess what a persons family may be mass murders but that does not make you one.
    You because a seroius sex offender because you are.

    And no a bad attorney may not get you a good deal, but there will have to be evidence for them to convict.

    You need to go read the actual trial transcripts. Find out what he really did, perhaps go talk to the victim.

    So for the DOC to be controlling you, that means you are either under age yourself, of you already have minor children who at least the state wants to protect if you don't.

    Sorry but tell him he needs to make up a much better story,

    What the inmates often do, is share letters from prison. If they find one that works in getting someone to give money or start to viist or some story that people believe they share it and others try and use it.
    Sounds like he needs to find a lot better story
    been_there's Avatar
    been_there Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Dec 19, 2008, 11:29 AM
    4eml,
    I'm actually in a very similar situation - - the key is to listen to your heart - - and not other people - -
    My boyfriend went through 3 trials for rape and was still found guilty in the 3rd trial after 2 hung juries (in his favor), I've read the trail transcripts and they had NO physical evidence - even the rape kit came back negative. So contrary to twinkiedooter's opinion there are innocent people in prision (not many, but there are some) - -
    It's true that the CO can ask what he want's but it's up to you to answer - - the key there is to be truthful no matter what! Stevetcg is correct in saying that the CO is there to protect you not to prosecute you.
    Do your research into the trail because there are "crappy" lawyers out there - - Getting to know both sides of the story is very important! - - Because no matter what - - there are a lot of judgemental people out there! People who are ONLY going to hear the words "sex offender" or "prision" and not hear or want to hear anything else. And if you know the "whole" story it will be easier to know what and how to resopnd to people.
    Also doing your own research will help you know what the truth is - just in case he is lying to you.
    BUT NO MATTER WHAT - it is your decision! Trust your instinces - follow your heart and do your research! I will tell you now - - it's going to be a hard ride - - but it can be worth it if he is innocent!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    Dec 19, 2008, 11:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by been_there View Post
    4eml,
    I'm actually in a very simular situation - - the key is to listen to your heart - - and not other people - -
    My boyfriend went through 3 trials for rape and was still found guilty in the 3rd trial after 2 hung juries (in his favor), I've read the trail transcripts and they had NO physical evidence - even the rape kit came back negative. So contrary to twinkiedooter's opinion there are innocent people in prision (not many, but there are some) - -
    It's true that the CO can ask what he want's but it's up to you to answer - - the key there is to be truthful no matter what!! Stevetcg is correct in sayin that the CO is there to protect you not to prosecute you.
    Do your research into the trail because there are "crappy" lawyers out there - - Getting to know both sides of the story is very important!! - - Because no matter what - - there are a lot of judgemental people out there!! People who are ONLY gonna hear the words "sex offender" or "prision" and not hear or want to hear anything else. And if you know the "whole" story it will be easier to know what and how to resopnd to people.
    Also doing your own research will help you know what the truth is - just in case he is lying to you.
    BUT NO MATTER WHAT - it is your decision!! Trust your instinces - follow your heart and do your research! I will tell you now - - it's gonna be a hard ride - - but it can be worth it if he is innocent!

    If there was no evidence, how was he found guilty? Do you know why after two hung juries the DA didn't just write it off, why the DA continued to prosecute? What was the sentence?

    I still think the road to being involved with a registered sex offender is a rough one - but if you've thought it through and that's what you want, I have no problem with that nor does anyone else.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #11

    Dec 19, 2008, 12:35 PM

    I can not say if he is or is not guilty. I agree with Been_There that there are many innocent people in jail. With DNA now it has been proven even death row people were/are innocent even with the abundance of evidence stacked against them.
    I have seen courts railroad people and it is not pretty.

    All I can say is do not fall for his 'I was a victim' story make sure you are fully convinced in your heart BY the evidence.
    Also realize as Judy said that it is going to be your life affected as well YOUR relationship with your family, friends, neighbors and if you live together YOUR ADDRESS will appear on the sex offender registry with is public record. I don't know the distinctions about 1st degree vs others. I do not know if he is accused of but I do think that the law is that a pedophile can not live in the same household as minor children and that is something else to check into -would HE be cleared to live in your household if you two had children?

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