[ursula01]

I am having problems with my 10 year old son he use to be so loving and sweet now he has the attitude of "i dont care " you ask he to do some thig and we get I don't care.we changed schools at the beginning of the year and he settled in well now he is about to be expelled and we don't know what to do
I lay in bed at night crying because I don't know how to help him a loving caring kid again He is also starting fights with is brother and is swearing a lot my husband and I need help before we loose control of this beautiful kid

[KBC]

Has a school councilor been involved yet?

Most behavior like this in a school setting can be addressed by them,but at home the councilor might suggest outside professional assistance.

Maybe if you can give some more information about the situation leading up to this point,others(and myself) can advise further.

KBC

[ursula01]

Yes the school councilor has spooken to him but we still have no answers.
He has made lots of friends and even a girlfreind so that is why it is so hard to put our finger on the problam. I need help the councilor has no answers to help us I know there is something with he I just need to know how to find out what questions to ask to get him to open up.

[KBC]

Well,at 10 years old,is the girlfriend appropriate?

Maybe a long discussion with a trusted adult,maybe a family member,uncle,aunt,someone he isn't upset with?

What nationality are you,I can try to look for a center for counseling for you,if you are in the USA.

[ursula01]

When I say girlfriend I mean holding hand and talking on the phone not going out with each other on a date we live in western sydney, australia I asked the school about professinal help but they don't seem to think it is that bad just yet.
Thank you for helping me I don't know were to turn too.

[asking]

Why did he change schools?

Has anything else changed? Did you move? Get new jobs? New husband? New brother or sister?

Something has changed in this boy's life and he is deeply unhappy. Don't just think of this as a behavior problem. If he was sweet and loving before, he's still the same person. Find out what is making him so angry.

[Jimmy_Jazz]

How can the school say the problum isn't that bad when their going to expel him?

[KBC]

I have found a contact for you in Sydney.

Archdiocese of Sydney
Polding Centre,
133 Liverpool Street,
Sydney NSW 2000
Tel: +61 2 9390 5100
Fax: +61 2 9261 8312

Perhaps they can give local contacts for child care/psychological counseling.

Maybe you can get the sound sleep you deserve.

KBC

[ursula01]

We moved schools at the beginning of the year because of the neighbours. But he was very happy to move
I have just returned to work 4 weeks ago but this was like this before I returned to work.
I tried to ask what is wrong but he shuts down, my mother has tried but the attitude starts aqgain . My husband is his dad and he has 2 brothers and 1 sister.

[asking]

Perhaps he is being bullied at school? I'm just guessing. Whatever it is, keep talking to him. Get him in a situation where there's not much to do but talk, maybe a long drive on a weekend with just the two of you. Tell him you need to go somewhere and you would love to have his company. Keep it simple. Rearrange your schedule so you can spend some one on one time with him on a regular basis. Not just 10 minutes, but 30 - 60 minutes. It doesn't have to be quality time. Make sure he knows you still love him even though he's having difficulties

Don't push him too hard because you don't want to get into a confrontation, but don't stop asking either over days and weeks why he's upset, what's changed for him. Maybe ask if things were easier for him last year and why. Just tell him that you are worried about him. Don't punish him for anything he says, but try to just listen calmly and really hear him. He is still the son you love. He does have something on his mind.

I agree with KBC about finding outside help too. Call the number he posted.

[asking]

Good luck!
Another thing. If he doesn't say much, it's fine to let there be silences. You don't need to make small talk though it's fine to draw him out on something trivial like his favorite computer game or friends at school. But if there are quiet times, that's good. It'll give him time to think, and maybe something will pop out. Be patient; he needs you. (I have two teenage sons.)