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KariPie71 · Nov 15, 2008, 11:27 PM

My ex-husband has had full, legal custody of our children for 8 years. I was living out of state for work and could visit when I wished (and always have).
I agreed to give him custody and signed the papers with no incident.

I have moved back to the same state and our 15 year old daughter is now living with me. My ex-husband is fine with this and wants me to move forward on getting this "legalized" but we'd like to do it without any attorneys as we are both struggling financially.

What steps do we take/forms can we complete to do this on our own?

stinawords · Nov 16, 2008, 08:50 AM

If you are both in agreement it shouldn't be any trouble at all. You do have to go to court though to have it "legalized". So you petition the judge to allow the change in custody and your ex shows up and says that he dosen't contest and your daughter can say that she wants it too and there shouldn't be any problems.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 16, 2008, 02:27 PM

I would still use an attorney, my guess 300 to 400 dollars that you both share to merely have them do the forms that you file.

Also check out if there is paralegal services in your area.

JudyKayTee · Nov 16, 2008, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by KariPie71

My ex-husband has had full, legal custody of our children for 8 years. I was living out of state for work and could visit when I wished (and always have).
I agreed to give him custody and signed the papers with no incident.

I have moved back to the same state and our 15 year old daughter is now living with me. My ex-husband is fine with this and wants me to move forward on getting this "legalized" but we'd like to do it without any attorneys as we are both struggling financially.

What steps do we take/forms can we complete to do this on our own?

Cannot speak for all States and don't know where you are but this is not a simple matter in NY - Court has to decide what is in the best interest of the child as well as changing the support order. The fact that you and your ex-husband thinks this is best for the child does not mean the Court will agree and rubber stamp your application.

I would spend the money on an Attorney to make sure this is done correctly and you have the necessary legal documents in good order.

cadillac59 · Nov 16, 2008, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by KariPie71

My ex-husband has had full, legal custody of our children for 8 years. I was living out of state for work and could visit when I wished (and always have).
I agreed to give him custody and signed the papers with no incident.

I have moved back to the same state and our 15 year old daughter is now living with me. My ex-husband is fine with this and wants me to move forward on getting this "legalized" but we'd like to do it without any attorneys as we are both struggling financially.

What steps do we take/forms can we complete to do this on our own?

It's not a bad idea to disclose where you are because if you are in California I can make this really easy for you. Elsewhere you're going to have to check with a local attorney.

We actually have a pre-printed fill-in-the-blanks form in California to change custody that's pretty user-friendly. All you do is fill it out, sign it (it doesn't need to be notarized) and submit it to the court and the judge will rubber-stamp it (there's a presumption in California that parents' decisions in this regard are in their children's best interests so there is no risk of a court rejecting it, requiring a hearing or asking for testimony barring some really unusual facts).

JudyKayTee · Nov 17, 2008, 05:41 AM

Was the original post changed? I thought as originally posted the child had some mental health issues, had lived with the father, then the Grandparents, now the mother - ? At least in NY this would cause the Court to take a second look at the entire situation as it benefits or hurts the child.

Or am I thinking of another post and confusing the two?

this8384 · Nov 17, 2008, 09:59 AM

To Kari:
As pointed out earlier, it would be easier if you mentioned which state you're from. In Wisconsin, there is a form that you & your husband can complete and sign; however, it needs to be submitted to the court for approval before it becomes effective. An attorney isn't necessary but it's up to the court if they believe it's in your child(ren)'s best interest.

To Judy: I think you're mixing posts; you're pretty good about quoting the OP in your initial response and I don't see any changes between the question and your quote :)

JudyKayTee · Nov 17, 2008, 10:22 AM

Originally Posted by this8384

To Kari:
As pointed out earlier, it would be easier if you mentioned which state you're from. In Wisconsin, there is a form that you & your husband can complete and sign; however, it needs to be submitted to the court for approval before it becomes effective. An attorney isn't necessary but it's up to the court if they believe it's in your child(ren)'s best interest.

To Judy: I think you're mixing posts; you're pretty good about quoting the OP in your initial response and I don't see any changes between the question and your quote :)

I need either more or less coffee in the AM!