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    Zell's Avatar
    Zell Posts: 57, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Nov 7, 2008, 05:34 PM
    Say something or keep my mouth shut?
    Hey, back on his site asking for help again lol.

    Ok, so here's the situation.
    My boss, married woman, I recently started going out for a drink and started to get to know her a little better, after about a year and a half of working with her. And it turns out, she un-happliy married, and is to scarred to do anything about it, because she's a little insecure about herself. But anyway, since going out with her, I've noticed I've got so much in common with her, and we really get on well, and she speaks to me about personal problems and such and feels comfortable around me.
    And so, me being a dumbass has realised I have a crush on her, and really like her. Like REALLY like her.
    Her husband doesn't let her be herself, whens she's around him she's not herself, he's controlling and she's often text me on nights wheres she's 'not allowed' to go out acoording to her husband (bear in mind, she's a 28 year old woman) saying sorry, I'm not allowed out tonight.
    Do you think I should say something, like tell her how I feel about her, or should I let it go, stop hangin out with her and forget it?
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Nov 7, 2008, 05:56 PM

    It does not matter what typ of life she has.. she is married and until that fact is change

    You can not do anything. Let her go
    Until her so called bad marriage is called off.

    But yeah man don't mess around with another mans wife.. even if the guy is a tool
    She married the dude! And she has the power to leave if she wants.


    Find a single girl mate

    Regards
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Nov 8, 2008, 12:15 AM

    She's married, and while it may be an unhappy one, telling her how you feel is not a good idea. It's up to her to end her current relationship and maybe and only then would I suggest making a move.

    There are lots of ladies out there my friend... you don't need the baggage of this one... Really take a moment and think about the difficulties of trying to start a meaningful relationship with her right now...
    Zell's Avatar
    Zell Posts: 57, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Nov 8, 2008, 12:38 AM

    Yea, I your both right. Thanks for your advice.
    But what I don't understand now is, why is she always telling me she's unhappy in her marrige? And why is she not actually doing anything about it?
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
    Full Member
     
    #5

    Nov 8, 2008, 12:54 AM

    I currently have two friends (one guy and one girl) who constantly complain to me about their current relationships... And this has been something that has been on going for a long time that I don't see either of them doing anything about.

    Some people are afraid of being alone, and are willing to put up with an unhappy relationship to prevent that from happening. She married this man, they live together, and share many things. It's not like walking away from a relationship where you are not married and don't live together. There are going to be a lot of negative repercussions she will have to face if she ends this marriage, and you have to realize that its not just as easy as breaking up with someone.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Nov 8, 2008, 01:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Zell View Post
    Yea, i your both right. Thanks for your advice.
    But what i don't understand now is, why is she always telling me shes unhappy in her marrige? and why is she not actually doing anything about it?


    Talk is cheap! My friend Action.. now that is something else!
    Until someone can make the choice in there own LIFES to make it better for themselves.. that's when action comes into play..

    Just sitting around talking about how upset you are. And stuff.. is for lack or a better term.. a waist of hers and your time.
    Because for all the words she is saying..

    She is still married. Simple as that.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Nov 8, 2008, 07:10 AM

    She is not that unhappy, nor dissatisfied, with her marriage, and you would well learn not to swallow the whole hog, without a grain of salt.

    While its nothing wrong with being her friend, and having a crush, acting on those feelings is out of bounds, and inappropriate, since she is married.

    Keep it to yourself, how you feel, and always be aware of your circumstances with her, as you could be compromising yourself, and her marriage, by spending too much time with her. Back off that.

    Don't let yourself be seduced in a weak moment either. That will lead to a can of worms you don't want to open.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #8

    Nov 8, 2008, 01:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Zell View Post
    Yea, i your both right. Thanks for your advice.
    But what i don't understand now is, why is she always telling me shes unhappy in her marrige? and why is she not actually doing anything about it?
    It doesn't matter how/why/when/whatever... stop sitting there listening to it if it you makes you want to cheat with her. Cut it out.

    You're character is based on what you DO, not what you mean or how much you care. Don't DO things that make you ignoble.

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