[ilybaby9206]

I have a major problem with lying. I have a great boyfriend, whom I love dearly, and we've been together for over 2 years. He's fed up with all my lying. I have tried so hard to stop in the past, and I just keep lying. I am at the point where I don't know what to do.
He seems to think it's just easy to stop lying, but it isn't that way for me. I need some help. Anything would be appreciated. Any suggestions?

[jack dandy]

Is there any 12 step programs you can check into? I used to drink a lot in the day and that contributed to lying, now I quit both and life is a lot better, I've been straight for 22 years and I'll tell you life is a lot better now don't have to think who I've lied to because I don't lie. Good luck life does get better when you live it how its suppose to be lived. Peace.

[southerngalps]

You could see a therapist. Just remember how much you love your boyfriend and every lie will push him away. And when he's gone because of the lying, then you will meet someone new and you will push him away as well. You don't want to be alone because no one will trust you. Remember that serious consequences will result. Just keep that in the back of your mind, you may be afraid of losing and never lie again :) wish nothing but the best, good luck!

[Blogg]

Hi Ilybaby,
It just my suggestion, try this if you want
1. Write down on a paper, that "YOU are ALWAYS honest". Stick it to where you can easily see.
2. Get used your mind with that thought. (Don't fill with any "lying/lie" words)
3. Believe that you can change :), yes, its your body, of course YOU are the 1 who control YOURSELF.
Remember, all comes from your MIND that you can do it or not.

Be always motivated, don't afraid to share cause this was also our problem :D
Wish the best from you..

[invisible woman]

This is a tricky one. You're attempting to change a pattern you've developed for probably many years now. It will take time and work.

Basically, you need to reprogram yourself on how to speak. When someone says something to you, you have a specific programed response. What you need is practice answering differently. Honesty is scary. When you expose your truth, it makes you vulnerable on a public level. You have to be willing to defend yourself or feel strongly enough about what you say to take criticism and disagreement from others. If you shadow your real thoughts, actions and feelings behind lies, you really are hiding yourself from others.

I'm not sure what your situation is with your boyfriend. Sounds like your relationship is important to you and you feel (or are made to feel) responsible for communication problems. This may very well be the case and if so, you should put some practice to this whole being honest concept. Maybe try with a stranger first. Or a therapist. Give yourself several go-arounds at speaking, answering, defending and explaining what you believe to be true. Or just start simple by stating facts. If you find speaking to your boyfriend much more difficult than speaking with most other people, this may be more of an issue about your boyfriend than your level of honesty. I hope he isn't just calling you a liar and you taking it to heart when that may not even be the problem. Like I said, I don't know your situation with him. But you can only really change a problem if the problem really exists to be changed. If that makes any sense...

Okay, back to the subject, you could try different forms of communication- start with those that come easiest to you. Be it writing, speaking, singing, chatting online, whatever comes naturally to you. You become closer to people when they really see you. And they see you best when you let yourself really show.

Good luck.