[tenderheart2008]

My 7 year old daughter has been abused before by her father. He has not seen her in over 3 years, but now she is not only feeling herself, but having my youngest son feel her too. I walked into her room earlier on and they were just playing everything seemed fine, but when my boyfriend walked in about 10 min later he saw her laying on her bed and holding my youngest sons hands on her chest and rubbing.

I talked to her about this and explained that her body is her body and she does not need to make or let anyone else touch it. Rubbing is not a good touch. We have also gone over this in counseling; yet she still does it. I have two other kids and I can handle this happening with them either.

What can I do to stop this? I have read books with her, we have talked in her counseling sessions and yet she still does it. Please help. I don't know what else to do.

[liz28]

Have she saw a therapist/psychologist that specialize in dealing with kids that have been sexually abused? If not try it and don't give up and keep her in counselling and you should see one to help you deal with her but if you find a psychologist like I said that can help you.

I am sorry this happen to her and after being a volunteer rape counselor hearing things and stories from victims was heartbreaking. Sadly the person that should be protecting their child is abusing them.

Keep working with her and get her help.

[tenderheart2008]

Have she saw a therapist/psychologist that specialize in dealing with kids that have been sexually abused? If not try it and don't give up and keep her in counselling and you should see one to help you deal with her but if you find a psychologist like I said that can help you.

I am sorry this happen to her and after being a volunteer rape counselor hearing things and stories from victims was heartbreaking. Sadly the person that should be protecting their child is abusing them.

Keep working with her and get her help.

I have been working with her. She has seen several counselors and is in counseling now. I am at my last straw, I don't know what else to do with her. She is becoming a liability to my other kids. I am trying to help her and look for help, but I am not sure where else to turn. If anyone has any ideas as to who or were I can go please let me know. Again, she is in counseling now but it is not working.

Thanks you

[Alty]

Have you talked to your other kids and explained that their bodies are private and that being touched and touching others in a private place is not appropriate behaviour at their age?

Protect the other kids as well as finding help for your daughter. This is a behaviour that is stemming from the abuse, she isn't to blame but she does need help.

What does her counsellor say? What suugestions have been given to curb this behaviour?

Maybe it's time to find a new counsellor, someone that will work with your entire family, because this isn't only affecting one person, but everyone.

Good luck.

[Wondergirl]

Put yourself in her place for a second. Rubbing and stroking feel good. There may not even be a sexual satisfaction to it. It's comforting and soothing and just feels good!

That said, is there a substitute that can be taught to her, a different kind of comforting that she can do? It's like smokers who quit and then suck on sugarless candies--a substitute for what gives them pleasure and comfort. Thumbsucking is another comforting habit that can be broken by finding a good substitute.

You know her well. Can you think of anything? Perhaps nightly backrubs that you do before she goes to sleep? This shows her that touching can also be a positive thing. Or you probably want to get away from the touching idea completely, so spending more time with her playing paper-and-pencil or board games, giving her the satisfaction of mom's attention?