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    pop34554's Avatar
    pop34554 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 1, 2008, 02:43 PM
    I want to be adopted
    I'm want to be adopted but I don't to hurt my family I'm not sure what I want I'm unhappy alone and I cry myself to sleep should I just talk to them or what because I'm edge I not trying hurt but if it worse I'm to leave and hurts is they love me but can't dill with this my mom been having weird head ach and stuff that hurts me I feel motherless and I wonder why she treat me like this and I can't take it I'm on the edge please tell me if I should them or just do it:(
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #2

    Nov 1, 2008, 02:59 PM

    No, don't leave honey. Go talk to your Mom. Tell her you need to have a serious talk about how you're feeling. Sit down with her, and say you are worried about her and her headaches, and you are having problems dealing with the things that are happening.

    Tell her that you are unhappy, and feel all alone, and that when she isn't looking, you cry yourself to sleep, because so are so sad and confused. Tell her that you love her, and you want her as your mother to help you. Pour out your feelings and concerns to her, and ask her what the two of you can do to make your situation better, because you don't know how, and need her help with it.

    We are here for you if you need to talk sweetie. You can come and talk to us anytime you need to. One of us are usually around. I think I have the perfect person to give you some good advice. Around here, we call her Momma C. I know you will love her just like the rest of us. There's a bit of a time difference, and sometimes she's not feeling well, but I'll let her know okay?

    Stay put, and try to have a talk with your Mom, and maybe you can come up with something you can feel happy about.

    Take care sweetie! :)
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #3

    Nov 2, 2008, 12:14 PM
    Hi dear.
    First, I'm sorry that you feel so helpless and alone, I know what that is like myself, when I was a child.

    I need to know how old you are and what lead you to the decision to want to be adopted by other people.
    Have you been mistreated or do your parents just don't have enough time for you because they are busy working and have stress? Parents are only human too, and can't fix things if they don't know something is wrong..

    There are a lot of things parents do sometimes that make you feel alone and uncared for, but they need to be talked about before going out and looking for others to take over the responsibility and have the love and time that is needed to do so.

    Have you already found or chosen someone else? What brought you this far?

    Do you have the support of a social worker or youth authority advisor?
    I would try to talk with your parents along with the youth authority service and social work services and try to solve this stress you are under.

    There are also legal issues that have to be considered, because you cannot just walk away and pick someone else on your own, so please talk to them.
    As starbck8 said, you need to stay there and talk - get your point across and let them know how strongly you feel about needing more love and understanding.

    So, please stay with us and tell us more, give us some examples of why you feel the way you do. Maybe we can help you find other solutions, but we do need to know a bit more, OK?

    This is your life we are talking about, and just a short paragraph of distress is not much to go by in finding a way to advise and help you dear.

    Get back with us as soon as you can...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Nov 2, 2008, 01:45 PM

    Sweetie, don't give up, you, and only you, have the strength to change your life, but sometimes you do need help.

    Talk to your mom, tell her how you are feeling and why, tell her that her headaches worry you and that you feel alone and helpless. She's your mom, talk to her sweetie.

    Adoption isn't easy, and it can take a long time. Also, you may not go where you want to go, you may just end up in foster care which would be infinitely worse than the situation you are in now.

    I think we need more info, but for now, based on what you wrote, I say talk to mom.

    We're here if you need us.

    Take care.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #5

    Nov 4, 2008, 06:46 AM
    Hi dear.
    I hope that you take our advice and talk to your mom. Also, please let us know if you have signed on again to read what we suggested, from the heart. We do want to help you any way we can, but can't do anything if we don't get a reply from you.
    So, please talk to us...
    LoppyLolly's Avatar
    LoppyLolly Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Nov 4, 2008, 02:37 PM
    No honey, don't. I can tell you that I KNOW that it feels like forever until you will be able to move out BUT it is NOT that long away. I was in the same spot when I was around your age. Talk to her, and if they want to put you up for adoption, this is different. There is something called emancipation (which is what eventually happen to me)
    Good luck honey, but unless there is something that is PUTTING YOU IN DANGER, then stick it out.
    God Bless
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    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #7

    Nov 4, 2008, 02:49 PM

    I removed my post, as I got this and another confused. My mistake.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #8

    Nov 4, 2008, 03:56 PM
    I sure hope that 'pop' will get back with us soon.
    It seems that those who are in the greatest distress sort of 'hit and run' after posting, and that's a shame.

    I cross my fingers that we will see a response soon.

    MchaelDuaneH's Avatar
    MchaelDuaneH Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Nov 30, 2008, 03:19 PM

    First, don't try to get adopted I've been in dhs 5 years now. All because I had fights with my aunt, don't get me wrong she was crazy but that being put in the statess custudy has ruined my life, I'm 17 now but when I turn 18 I have no place to go back to except the shelter that I have been living in this whole time. Just talk it over with your parents, fyi from my own experience parents are hard to replace
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #10

    Nov 30, 2008, 04:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MchaelDuaneH View Post
    first, don't try to get adopted i've been in dhs 5 years now. all because i had fights with my aunt, don't get me wrong she was crazy but that being put in the statess custudy has ruined my life, i'm 17 now but when i turn 18 i have no place to go back to except the shelter that i have been living in this whole time. just talk it over with your parents, fyi from my own experience parents are hard to replace
    Very good advice from personal experience. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. :( I hope things improve for you, so you don't have to live like that. Children should not be out on the streets or living in shelters. We are all here if you need to talk about things. :)
    MchaelDuaneH's Avatar
    MchaelDuaneH Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Nov 30, 2008, 06:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    Very good advice from personal experience. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. :( I hope things improve for you, so you don't have to live like that. Children should not be out on the streets or living in shelters. We are all here if you need to talk about things. :)
    Well the way I've seen things my life has dropped to about the worst it could get so, I don't have much else to worry about, as long as that quote "always darkest before the dawn" is true. Jk. Its just stupid I'm 17 and could actually graduate right now, if I was actually getting credits in shelter school, and am probably one of the few teenagers that is dying to get a job so I'm not wasting my time doing nothing while I'm in custudy. I could provide a better place if I was on my own, in comparison to that shelter.
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #12

    Nov 30, 2008, 08:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MchaelDuaneH View Post
    well the way i've seen things my life has dropped to about the worst it could get so, i don't have much else to worry about, as long as that quote "always darkest before the dawn" is true. jk. its just stupid i'm 17 and could actually graduate right now, if i was actually getting credits in shelter school, and am probably one of the few teenagers that is dying to get a job so i'm not wasting my time doing nothing while i'm in custudy. i could provide a better place if i was on my own, in comparison to that shelter.
    You seem to have a pretty good attitude about things, and sound like you want to work hard to get your life in a better place. I just read your other threads, and it sounds like you have quite a dilemna. I wish I had advice to give you there, but like the others have said, keep on DHS's tail, and have your step-mom do the same! Have you thought about writing them a letter telling them what you want to do with your life, and about the reasons that you got caught up in the system. You could maybe tell them your plans and goals. It just might get someone's attn. you never know, it's worth a try. I'm so sorry you lost your mom, and about what happened with your Dad giving up his rights. That's horrible. :( Just keep on believing that things will get better soon, and don't give up!

    I hope the OP reads your story, and realises asking to be adopted is not the way to go!

    Best of luck to you, and I hope you and your step mom can get this all straightened out. She sounds like she must care about you a lot! :)
    MchaelDuaneH's Avatar
    MchaelDuaneH Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #13

    Dec 19, 2008, 03:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    You seem to have a pretty good attitude about things, and sound like you want to work hard to get your life in a better place. I just read your other threads, and it sounds like you have quite a dilemna. I wish I had advice to give you there, but like the others have said, keep on DHS's tail, and have your step-mom do the same! Have you thought about writing them a letter telling them what you want to do with your life, and about the reasons that you got caught up in the system. You could maybe tell them your plans and goals. It just might get someones attn., you never know, it's worth a try. I'm so sorry you lost your mom, and about what happened with your Dad giving up his rights. That's horrible. :( Just keep on believing that things will get better soon, and don't give up!

    I hope the OP reads your story, and realises asking to be adopted is not the way to go!

    Best of luck to you, and I hope you and your step mom can get this all straightened out. She sounds like she must care about you alot! :)
    Thanks
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #14

    Dec 19, 2008, 07:36 PM

    I hope they come back too,
    The grass is not always greener and often the people that adopt older kids basically are like a group home for troubled kids, You would not have a better mother but more of a caretaker that has a few troubled kids that demand her time.
    The children's service system is NO picnic either as somebody else mentioned.
    Also your mom needs you and needs you to be strong for her she can't help it she is not well. Running away from your troubles is not the answer and very often it only creates even another whole set of problems.
    animals's Avatar
    animals Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jul 9, 2010, 08:11 AM
    Comment on MchaelDuaneH's post
    Hi I'm the same way I feel cruched but maby your parents are getting a devors you sold ask them I always think about running away I have before my mom was crazy when I did not no about the devors she said maby you should run away!! 1 so I went to

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