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    mforgue's Avatar
    mforgue Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 1, 2008, 07:10 AM
    Adopting my fiance's kids
    I was wondering how to go about adopting my fiance's children the oldest has no father on his birth certificate but the younger one does, they both have the same father but he has not seen them or contacted them in years. The courts are going after him for child support that he has not paid in 12 years. He was not a good person at all (alchohol,drugs ,violence).
    Do we need to be married first? The kids want this so bad, we want to do this and have all ties including child support and custodial right droped from him if he allows this. Is this possible? If so what can I do?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #2

    Nov 1, 2008, 07:57 AM
    Your going have to get married first and some states require that you be married for at least a year.

    In order for you to adopt her kids your going need the have to terminate the father rights and he doesn't have to sign away his rights if he doesn't. Do she has any of his relatives contact information to get a hold of him? When she does get in contact with him she should tell him that she would forget the back child support owe if he signs his right away so he won't put up a fight and since he owes back support and not active in their life, it might or might not hurt.

    Now you stated his name isn't on one of the kids birth certificate but is he order to pay child support for that child or just for the other one?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Nov 1, 2008, 08:00 AM

    In most places in the US, you will have to be married for one year first, then you hire an attorney, the birth father will have to sign over his rights,

    On the one, has the birth father been proven by DNA or some method approved by the court, if not that has to be done so he can sign over his rights for the adoption
    mforgue's Avatar
    mforgue Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 1, 2008, 07:12 PM
    She is able to cantact the birthfather he is the same for both kids. Its just the older child's birth certificate that did not have have his fathers name on it but the state is going after him for child suport for both kids. Isn't there sometype of child abandonment law since he has not had nor attempted contact with them in several years?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #5

    Nov 2, 2008, 06:39 AM

    What state do you live in? Also, since she does have a way to get contact with him then she won't have to waste time looking or money looking for him. Maybe she should talk to him about it to see what his response might be. He does have the right to say no.

    Also, did she ever take him back to court for not paying his child support? His wages could be garnish and income taxes could be taken away by a judge.

    Comments on this post
    Asking agrees: I don't believe it's legal to negotiate away child support. Legally it belongs to the children.

    Most people who are in this situation does. It doesn't seem like he intend on paying anyway or what anything to do with him kids that he brought into this meanwhile a guy that isn't their father is willing to step up to the plate and not only willing to take care of them but willing to adopt them and become their legal father.

    Many people who have been in this situation has done this and if you take time out to read the many of threads that is on him you can see it for yourself.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #6

    Nov 2, 2008, 10:01 AM

    Actually, you're not negotiating away child support. If you have someone ready to adopt the child, child support isn't even an issue--you have someone lined up to help support the child.

    What you're negotiating is the birth father (or, on occasion, the birthmother) being pursued for child support. Most of the time in situations where there is a stepparent adoption pending, these people haven't paid child support in some time anyway. What you're negotiating with them is the idea that you aren't going to bust your a$$ to get them for every single red penny they owe or put them in jail for not paying it.

    You can NOT force someone to relinquish their parental rights. You also can't PAY someone to relinquish their parental rights. You CAN, however, make them face the choice of relinquishing their rights, or being forced to face their responsibilities.
    div2wice's Avatar
    div2wice Posts: 103, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 3, 2008, 08:10 PM
    You would need to have the biological father sign over his parental rights. I went through something similar, my lawyer at the time contacted my ex and told him outright if he wants to get rid of the monthly support payment (in this case, the back support) then sign over the parental rights & it goes away. He signed that very day.

    Yes, you do need to be married, and as some posts said, check your state laws because some have a time limit. We were married and had the adoption finalized that next month, but all states are different.

    Once he signs over the rights he will cut all ties to the children and the child support issue will be gone.

    Good luck !

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