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Thisisscilla · Oct 28, 2008, 04:49 PM

I'm new to the whole relationship thing, and I am lesbian. My girlfriend of nine months acts uninterested in me physically anymore. I don't know what to do. At the beginning of our relationship, she was all over me all of the time. Now, I have to keep asking her to have sex, and it is frustrating to me because she keeps making excuses as to why we can't have sex tonight. She says that almost every time. I have tried talking to her about it, telling her that I need more sex, but she keeps making excuses. It's really starting to wear me down mentally. In her other past relationships, she has told me they had sex a lot. But with me, she just seems uninterested. I try to be nice to her, but I feel like she treats me like a dog with when and where I will be privileged enough to get her to make love to me. I'm just so tired of it all. It's like she has an unhealthy view of having sex, like she feels bad about her past, and is taking it out on me by not having sex with me a normal amount or without me absolutely having to beg her to do it.

I'm so frustrated. I feel like she doesn't even like me. She tells me she loves me, and I love her. I just want to have a healthy relationship. What do you think?

TrueFaith · Oct 28, 2008, 06:14 PM

Sex is important
But it is not everything in a relationship

In most. 1 partner has a stronger sex drive than the other.

I do recommend you really sitting her down and telling her. That it is very important for you to have this.

And then you guys can work something out
As long as you both work together!

If she seems un interested in working out this problem
Then I would make it known that you will leave her.

Kati-Katt · Oct 28, 2008, 06:19 PM

That's right sex is important but it's not everything in the relationship. If I were you I wouldent stay around to be ignored. Tell her how you feel and settle it out communication is key.

chuff · Oct 28, 2008, 07:16 PM

I think you are almost trying to hard. When someone backs off, you have to back off as well. I think for you this is a big issue but she may see it as nagging which in turn may be only turning her off more.

talaniman · Oct 28, 2008, 08:46 PM

Is sex the only problem? How is the rest of the relationship?

Thisisscilla · Oct 29, 2008, 02:39 AM

Thank you for the answers everyone. I have tried several times telling her that I need sex more, but to really no avail.

To answer talaniman's question, the rest of the relationship is all right, I think. I really don't have anything to compare it to, it's the longest relationship I've ever been in. We fight a lot, but it has gone down recently. We used to have a really big argument every time that we saw each other. Now I think we are too busy to fight. We try to communicate, but the ways in which we do communicate usually just end up making the other one angry, so we try to make compromises as far as communication by not getting so angry. I also think that there may be psychological factors in here as well. I get angry way to easily, and she seems to have some weird views about sex, like she is afraid to have it too much.

talaniman · Oct 29, 2008, 06:24 AM

After 9 months your still trying to work together.

Thisisscilla · Oct 29, 2008, 08:13 AM

Yeah, Is that good or bad?

cr1090 · Oct 8, 2011, 10:10 AM

Wow its funny how contradictory everybody is!
I just read another question like this except the roles where reversed and everybody's answer
Was "hes cheating!" "no guy turns down sex" but everybody here just says, "well sex isn't everything"
This is really upsetting. It shows how we like to believe we treat everybody equally but we obviously don't!