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    momtofour's Avatar
    momtofour Posts: 48, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Oct 16, 2008, 06:53 AM
    Change to custody
    Hi,
    I will try to be brief. I have two children with my husband. We have been living apart for 2 years, I filed for divorce 22 months ago. Our divorce is not final and we still do not have a court date to finalize. In the meantime, I took him to court a year and a half ago to get a temporary custody agreement, I have full custody, he has limited visitation with our children, he does not have overnight visitation. Yesterday, my attorney told me that she had been served with court papers by my husbands attorney. We are now going to court in two weeks as he is requesting modified visitation, he wants joint custody now. Does anyone have any idea what the chanes are of him getting it? I was told that temporary custody is usually how the longer term custody arrangement will play out. Any thoughts? I can't bear the thought of him getting joint custody. He is only doing this so that he will have to pay less in child support, he is so transparent..
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Oct 16, 2008, 07:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by momtofour View Post
    Hi,
    I will try to be brief. I have two children with my husband. We have been living apart for 2 years, I filed for divorce 22 months ago. Our divorce is not final and we still do not have a court date to finalize. In the meantime, I took him to court a year and a half ago to get a temporary custody agreement, I have full custody, he has limited visitation with our children, he does not have overnight visitation. Yesterday, my attorney told me that she had been served with court papers by my husbands attorney. We are now going to court in two weeks as he is requesting modified visitation, he wants joint custody now. Does anyone have any idea what the chanes are of him getting it? I was told that temporary custody is usually how the longer term custody arrangement will play out. Any thoughts? I can't bear the thought of him getting joint custody. He is only doing this so that he will have to pay less in child support, he is so transparent..


    You have posted this same situation before - these posts should be combined. You got some good information then.

    In the meantime - your Attorney said that joint custody will enable him to pay less in child support? Usually joint legal custody simply means you have to discuss the "big" issues with the children with him. It does not mean they live with him, if that's what you are thinking.

    He's their father. He's entited to joint custody and visitiation unless he's unfit and dangerous and you can prove it.

    And, no, temporary custody and long-term custody are not always the same. Circumstances change during the divorce.
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #3

    Oct 16, 2008, 08:07 AM

    What do you have against joint visitation? Is he abusive? Or are you just being vindictive?
    momtofour's Avatar
    momtofour Posts: 48, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Oct 16, 2008, 08:47 AM
    Well, no he is going for joint physical custody. The last time he requested this we never went to court, he backed down. He is now taking it to court. There has been no change in circumstance.

    Yes, he is their father. He just isn't a very good one. No, not doing this to be vindictive, yes he was verbally and phsically abusive and was charged and tried for it.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Oct 16, 2008, 09:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by momtofour View Post
    , yes he was verbally and phsically abusive and was charged and tried for it.
    That would seem to preclude joint physical custody. Unless he can substantively show he's changed.
    mishelly3's Avatar
    mishelly3 Posts: 300, Reputation: 16
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    #6

    Oct 17, 2008, 10:17 PM

    Well I hope for your kids sake he's doing the right thing and you know every child needs his/or her dad. And maybe he has made some changes in his life and has realized the best thing he has is your children.So try to be a little suportive and don't say negative things in fromt of the kids... Just keep a close eye on him make sure he is doing right to the kids but when men don't want there kids they usually don't fight for them, just hope for the kids sake he has changed and be positive.

    Good luck
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Oct 18, 2008, 09:04 AM

    He may have a good chance for additional visits, including over night if he can show he has changed, perhaps he went though anger management courses and more.

    If he was not abusive he would have great chance at joint, it is common now to get joint custody as long as there is not a reason or problem with the other parent

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