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blueiman · May 30, 2006, 09:20 AM

Went to the store. I need stuff and so did my girlfriend. But, as soon as we parked and started walking in she tells me she forgot her checkbook. I said, OK we will just put it on my card. And it was my understanding she was going to pay me back. A couple days later she has not paid me back and has said nothing in regards to it. Guess I have the problem with money not her...
How would you approach this situation with her?

J_9 · May 30, 2006, 09:30 AM

I would approach it the same way you are going to approach the problem she has with sharing your dues. Stop paying her way for everything. Next time tell her that you don't have enough on your card to cover what she wants and you eill be glad to run her home to get her checkbook. And then do just that, take her home get her checkbook and go back to the store.

phillysteakandcheese · May 30, 2006, 09:30 AM

Just ask her for her share of the money.

If she doesn't pay (for whatever reason), you'll have learned the lesson the hard way.

Wildcat21 · May 30, 2006, 09:49 AM

MAN! This gal is REALLY testing you Blue. I don't like it at all.

To me - she seems like a real problem from all your little tests you're going through.

talaniman · May 30, 2006, 12:19 PM

Bluiman-I read a lot of your posts, and may I suggest that you stop taking tests and talk to your g/f very honestly, like how come you never have any money, and never pay me back? She may be one that expects you to pay her way.and that's cool if that's what you want but you need to talk to her and be forthcoming with your concerns so you can at least make a plan based on facts and not worry about her "tests".:cool: :rolleyes:

Fr_Chuck · May 30, 2006, 01:03 PM

I remember as a young man hearing the term "sugar daddy" you know at the time I did not even know what it meant, I found out real fast.

Not saying this is the case, but in a relationship, a couple should be able to talk about all things, money has to be one of them

Skell · May 30, 2006, 08:09 PM

You seem to really have an issue in confronting her about anything. You will never get through any relationship if you don't confront your problems. I don't mean to be rude but I'm sure you know the way to deal with these problems and don't really need to ask for advice. I know that is what everyone is here for and we will all try to help. But to put it quite simply this question and each other post you have submitted require a straight forward answer in my opinion (and that all it is). Sit down and confront her on them. They are obviously annoying you enough to ask for advice how to deal with it so just go to her and ask / tell.
Sorry if I sounded to the point but it just seems that it could all be solved by talking to her.
Good luck

jeffatl · May 30, 2006, 08:51 PM

How long have you been with her? I used to buy stuff for my EX all the time, but she would always return the favor if I didn't have cash for something. We kind of had that "whats mine is yours" thing going on I guess, but it didn't really bother me. We would trade off buying dinner when we went out and it was cool with both of us. I guess it would depend on how much she was hitting you up for and what she was buying... I don't know what to say on this really, but if it bothers you... talk to her about it.

Krs · May 31, 2006, 04:08 AM

Originally Posted by blueiman

went to the store. i need stuff and so did my gf. but, as soon as we parked and started walking in she tells me she forgot her checkbook. i said, ok we will just put it on my card. and it was my understanding she was going to pay me back. a couple days later she has not paid me back and has said nothing in regards to it. guess i have the problem with money not her...
how would you approach this situation with her?

This is the way she is :-
Whats yours is hers and whats hers is hers...
VERY selfish if you tell me!

As Jeffatl asked - how long have u 2 been together? And how often does this happen?

Krs · May 31, 2006, 04:09 AM

RickJ - this is another one :( sorry

s_cianci · May 31, 2006, 07:09 PM

As the old saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you ; fool me twice, shame on me!" I wouldn't ever give her any more money, either directly or in the form of paying for a purchase for her on your credit card with a "promise" of repayment. COnfronting her openly probably won't do any good at this point ; just don't let it happen again.

talaniman · May 31, 2006, 07:17 PM

Dude repeat after me "I ain't got no money," in other words you can leave your wallet at home same as she can

orange · Jun 1, 2006, 10:27 AM

Wow like everyone has said, this woman is really testing you! There seems to be one problem after another. Is she really worth all this grief?

If she thinks that you should just pay for her whenever, without so much as a thank you... well, as a woman, I don't understand that. Before I was married, I always wanted to pay my own way, unless it was my birthday or some other special occasion. I didn't want the guys I was with to think I was using them, or that I was their property. As everyone else has said, if she doesn't pay you back, simply refuse to pay for her again, or leave your own money at home. If a platonic friend was treating you this way, you wouldn't think they were a very good friend. If you are in a serious relationship with her, she should be your best friend and treat you with even more respect than a normal friend would.

To give her the benefit of the doubt though, maybe she has innocently forgotten about the money. So if you remind her nicely, perhaps she will simply say "oh sorry" and pay you back. I know there have been several times in my life where I've forgotten to return or pay back something and I'm grateful to be reminded.

Krs · Jun 2, 2006, 12:01 AM

Exactly as orange said, I was the same, as much as I enjoyed my man treating to me to a nice fancy meal with great wine.. the next week I would WANT to treat him... after all why not! He is human too and as my way of saying to thank you I used to take him out.
Its nice, and respectful.