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nikkir386 · Oct 13, 2008, 01:23 PM

I have not told my friends or family about this.

I went to one of my friends house over the weekend. I was there under the assumption that it was just going to be she and I there, a relatively "safe" environment, hanging out alone. We started drinking, and after a few strong drinks, I became really intoxicated. Her boyfriend came over(I did not expect that he would be coming over) by the time we were very out of it. I remember at some point he was trying to physically pull me into the bedroom with the both of them to engage in some sexual acts, but I kept resisting. He also at some point took my cell phone and hid it. Eventually I was passed out in bed with them, how, when or why I got there-I do not remember. I awoke in bed to him touching me, and I did tried pushing him away and telling him no, but he would just continue with what he was doing. I was still feeling very intoxicated at this point, and I just remember being very tired. He forced himself on me, and despite my attempts to push him off, he was much bigger than I was, and putting a lot of pressure on me and I couldn't get him to stop. So I just laid there, practically numb to everything that was going on. He was completely sober, because he doesn't drink.

I've come across a lot of people who seem to believe that this was my fault, because I was drunk, and there really isn't much I can do about it anyway because of that. I have been a complete mess about this the past few days and I feel really gross and I do not know what steps I need to take about this. I would have never, ever, EVER let this kind of thing happen normally. I almost feel like, if I were sober, I would have had more strength to make him stop. I don't know... Anyway, I am looking for advice.

excon · Oct 13, 2008, 01:38 PM

Hello nikkir:

According to the law, you were raped. Drunk people are UNABLE to consent. Therefore, call the cops. It wasn't your fault. Victims are never responsible for the crime perpetrated upon them.

excon

hannah_nicole · Oct 13, 2008, 01:53 PM

He raped you - you said no. The first step to take is telling friends and family. Once you realise you have a strong support base your feelings of shame will be appeased and the next step in reporting this will be easier. Please speak out! What if this happens to someone else down the track. It is important that it is at least recorded that this guy is a sexual predator.

ZoeMarie · Oct 13, 2008, 01:57 PM

I agree with everyone here. Report it! Who knows who he might do this to next?

Revival · Oct 13, 2008, 02:05 PM

You were raped, and your friend as well as her boyfriend will be charged. But you have to go to the cops with this before its too late.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 13, 2008, 02:16 PM

You needed to call the cops as soon as you got away from there, But even now, you call the police and report them,

This is rape and there is no excuse for this

spyderglass · Oct 13, 2008, 02:22 PM

I agree with everyone here, you were taken advantage of. It almost sounds as if this was planned. I also agree that you should press charges

Choux · Oct 13, 2008, 03:06 PM

The most important thing from this whole sordid mess is for you to learn something.

You got raped.

If you are of age, you making a big deal about it will only make you look like you were complicit and crying rape because you were drunk and experimented sexually and now want to blame someone else. You didn't go to the police immediately after, so you have no rape kit for proof.

If you are a kid, 14 to 17, tell your mother so she can call the police.

___________________________________________

If you are of age, you will look bad to whoever you tell no matter what the reality was. Don't make a big drama.

Find a person like a reputable pastor to talk to about this incident *as soon as you can* so you can unload your emotions. :)

Best wishes to you in the future,

Xrayman · Oct 13, 2008, 03:27 PM

That's called RAPE and BOTH of them did it.

Go to the police Immediately!

kp2171 · Oct 13, 2008, 03:43 PM

It does not matter that you were drunk.

You were raped. Period.

As the husband of a woman who was raped as a teen and again as a woman, id suggest to tell the people who blame you to f&*k off and make this b@stard pay the price.

Seriously... we make some dumb decisions along that way that expose us to the evil in this world... but that in NO WAY makes what happened to you OK.

You were raped.

You need to talk to your parents about this. You need to talk to the police. You need to talk to someone who can help you through this noise that you did not ask for and did not deserve.

Please... the "easy" path isn't to try to bury this.

liz28 · Oct 13, 2008, 04:11 PM

This person house you was at isn't your friend and what did this friend say about this ordeal?

Know that this situation wasn't your fault and you didn't deserve this. As KP said, don't keep this bottle up tell someone and talk to a counselor, they can help you a lot. For now on watch the company you keep because you never know what people have planned and who knows if this was or wasn't. It's sad that you went through this but don't let them get away with this. Who knows what they did while you was passed out. Tell your parents and tell the cops.

smoothy · Oct 16, 2008, 11:49 AM

As the other people said, report it ASAP, but also use this as an prime example of why alcohol (or drugs) is nobodies friend.

Trouble is never far away when copious ammounts of alcohol (or any drugs) are consumed.

nikkir386 · Nov 12, 2008, 11:17 AM

Remove this thread please!!

nikkir386 · Nov 12, 2008, 11:18 AM

I have had people recently searching my username, because I use it for other things, and they have found my thread! This must be removed!!

Justwantfair · Nov 12, 2008, 12:15 PM

You have not done anything wrong, I hope that you see that. You need to talk to your parents.

smoothy · Nov 12, 2008, 01:46 PM

Keep in mind this isn't a private blog... what gets posted almost always remains posted, assuming its contains advice useful to others. And your real name isn't your username anyway. Why sweat it. Its already archived and indexed by the search engines, and web archives and you can't make those go away.

Justwantfair · Nov 12, 2008, 02:05 PM

Guess that is a word to the wise about using the same screenname as the IM names you use elsewhere. Too bad.

ref_za · Nov 14, 2008, 04:39 AM

I know alcohol affects different people in different ways, but it almost sounds like this was something they planned and as if you were drugged. If this girl or her boyfriend poured your drinks or had easy access to your glass, it would have been easy for one of them to slip something into your drink. Alcohol generally doesn't sap your strength and what you're describing sounds very much like the effects of a date rape drug like Rohypnol. Sorry to hear about this experience man, I would suggest some counselling or at the very least you should find someone you trust to talk to. Worst thing in the world is to go through it alone.