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Bural21 · Oct 9, 2008, 12:47 PM

I am just curious, what is the difference between dating someone and being in a relationship?

My mother sparked my curiosity when my boyfriend and I got back together and he decided he really only wants to see me a couple times a week. We've been together for over a year and a half with only 2 "breaks". She sparked my interest by asking "What'd you do, go from a relationship to just dating?" So now I'm curious and wondering what's the difference between the two.

amricca · Oct 9, 2008, 12:58 PM

Relationship and dating could be considered the same thing depending on who is interpreting it, what your mother means is did you go from a committed relationship where you did not see other people to dating around with other people.

Bural21 · Oct 9, 2008, 01:07 PM

We are exclusive that's a fact. - We aren't open to dating others.

To explain more in depth - we have been dating for a year and a half. Two days before our one year, we got into a huge fight and broke up but got back together on our anniversary. Recently we got into another fight, broke up, talked it out, and got back together. Before the most recent split, we'd see each other 4 or 5 times a week because that's just how our schedules worked out and we didn't mind it. Since we've been together I've only seen him twice a week. I talked to my two good friends and they think that's not right to be that way. I also did a huge no-no, and asked his best friend for his opinion - he as well agreed, that's not right. My boyfriend only wants to see me two times a week or less. I don't like it simply because it's hard to go from seeing each other often to what feels like never seeing each other. And when we do hang out - he's absolutely amazing... sweet, kind, loving, etc... he's usually like that anyway. Just, why the change? It's not like we're only staying with each other - we spend time with our friends and family as well. But we also enjoy each others company - or so I thought. I'm just really confused, and I don't know if I'm over reacting or what. Help would be great. :)

ZoeMarie · Oct 9, 2008, 01:13 PM

To answer your question as far as the differences go between dating and a relationship, the way I see it a relationship is a commitment. When I hear the word "dating" I think two people who are just going out on dates. It might just be my thinking but I have dated a few people where it didn't feel like there was any commitment. I never met any of his family or anything. It didn't feel like it was ever going to be anything serious.

It sounds to me like you're getting mixed signals from your boyfriend. Have you tried talking about it with him- why you don't see each other as much as you used to?

Romefalls19 · Oct 9, 2008, 01:14 PM

Dating - Casually starting to get to know someone and see if there is a connection with no real attachments to each other.

Relationship - A commitment to each other to be faithful and respect them and their wishes. To be seeing them exclusively and pursuing a future together.

ZoeMarie · Oct 9, 2008, 01:17 PM

What Romefalls said is exactly what I was trying to say.

Bural21 · Oct 9, 2008, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by ZoeMarie

It sounds to me like you're getting mixed signals from your boyfriend. Have you tried talking about it with him- why you don't see each other as much as you used to?

Honestly, I don't know how to bring it up without sounding needy or anything... :confused:

ZoeMarie · Oct 9, 2008, 01:22 PM

I don't think that you would sound needy. Try saying something like, "I'm used to being able to see you more often. What brought about the change?" Something along those lines? You don't sound needy at all, just confused, and I would be too. Just explain that you're curious. You shouldn't have to wonder what's going on in his head. That brings stress into a relationship. There should be open communication. Hope this helps. =) and good luck when talking to him. Don't wait too long to talk to him, it will eat you up inside not knowing what to think.

Bural21 · Oct 9, 2008, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by ZoeMarie

I don't think that you would sound needy. Try saying something like, "I'm used to being able to see you more often. What brought about the change?" Something along those lines?? You don't sound needy at all, just confused, and I would be too. Just explain that you're curious. You shouldn't have to wonder what's going on in his head. That brings stress into a relationship. There should be open communication. Hope this helps. =) and good luck when talking to him. Don't wait too long to talk to him, it will eat you up inside not knowing what to think.

Thanks. I will attempt to ask tonight. :)

ZoeMarie · Oct 9, 2008, 01:27 PM

Let us know how it goes. Good luck! I've learned from past relationships if something is bothering me to bring it up instead of letting it go. Sometimes guys don't have a clue that anything is bothering us if we don't say something.

Bural21 · Oct 9, 2008, 07:55 PM

I talked to my boyfriend, (he actually came over today) and he said that he is really busy lately, and he's sorry. I guess I can understand that because he has a lot going on with school and home. There is no stress between us and all is well. And Zoe, I'm starting to learn just to speak up - it's making our relationship better in many ways... :)

talaniman · Oct 9, 2008, 08:01 PM

It takes two partners to define a healthy relationship. Communicating is the start of being able to work together.

Bural21 · Oct 9, 2008, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

It takes two partners to define a healthy relationship. Communicating is the start of being able to work together.

After a year and a half I am just learning that... but now that I know it I can fix mistakes easier. I just have to tell him what's wrong if he asks, or what I'm thinking or whatever. It's made us a lot less tense these past weeks. :)

ZoeMarie · Oct 10, 2008, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by Bural21

I talked to my boyfriend, (he actually came over today) and he said that he is really busy lately, and he's sorry. I guess I can understand that because he has a lot going on with school and home. There is no stress between us and all is well. And Zoe, I'm starting to learn just to speak up - it's making our relationship better in many ways... :)

good for you! I'm glad things are OK! =)