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jc105 · May 26, 2006, 02:03 PM

So some of you know the story some don't.

Me and my ex have talked a couple times over the three months we've been apart. She knows it killed me, but I have been showing my best face to her through all of it. But anyway she calls me two days ago says she was hoping to run into me because she wanted a hug?

What the hell, I was doing fine starting to hate her. She told me she didn't want to hang out and she is still with her new boyfriend. What do you all think?

Not looking for anything in particular just opinions. I'm still going to not contact her for the time being...

Chery · May 26, 2006, 02:13 PM

It could be Spring, could be the weekend, or her hormones. Be cordial, respectful, and just go on with your life. If she made this first step toward you, you can probably count on her making another if you did not reject her. This will give you time to decide what you really want and can then do it on your terms.

Good luck, and have a Great Weekend!

HarryPT · May 26, 2006, 02:53 PM

I think she missed you and she wants you back but she is to stuck up to be straight forward... atleast that's my opinion. Or she is just teasing you and wants to see how are you going to react specialy if she has a clue that you might be hurting all this time. (sometimes girls can be very cruel) It's a tuff one...

valinors_sorrow · May 26, 2006, 02:53 PM

Could be several things.

In addition to what Chery said I think some women want a sense of polite closure (so they don't have to fear you as an ex in any sense of the word) and some women want to feel out the possibility of rekindling something.

Hard to tell at this juncture which is why its wise to do nothing.
I believe Chery is bullseye on the target with her sense that if there is "something happening", something more is likely to also.

I would fall back into the "nothing has changed" mode of operation and carry on that way until further notice.

fredg · May 27, 2006, 06:08 AM

Hi, jc,
You have some good answers.
Your ex has a boyfriend and now wants a hug from you?
As others said, I would, too, just play it cool. See what happens.
Or, you can keep going on your separate way, and forget about it, and her. I have no idea what she has in mind, wouldn't even want to guess.

talaniman · May 27, 2006, 02:05 PM

Just me but If I were in your shoes I'd tell her if its not about the kids don't bother me wit that BS!

jc105 · May 31, 2006, 05:32 AM

Honestly I was nice and told her I was busy and if she wanted to meet up later that night than we could, but we did not. She is not a cruel individual at all and at this point I am not sure how things would be if we were together again...

Anyway, no kids, we were together for 4 years though so we have had things to discuss. I did want to tell her that she didn't deserve a hug from me and she she go to her new man for that sort of crap. I didn't but the more I think about it I want to. Anyway, I got into RIT so I will be far away from this BS soon and then I won't even be thinking aboot it.

Wildcat21 · May 31, 2006, 07:39 AM

Or... IF you wanted her back... tell her to leave that guy IF she wanted that hug. And then play it cool my man.

jc105 · Jun 1, 2006, 11:56 AM

Honestly...

I don't think I do. We would have to go through so much crap again. Plus I am having a good time single. I may just tell her not to call me again...

If she calls again. Who knows though...

Wildcat21 · Jun 1, 2006, 12:44 PM

Don't call her. Seems like the ball is in your court right now. Leave it there.

One thing you want in a relationship - ball in your court if you're the guy.

I bet she had the ball a lot.

Myth · Jun 1, 2006, 01:54 PM

Sounds to me like she's looking for the comfort zone again. You guys were together for years and she's wanting that safety net. Well she's made her bed and now needs to see that she can't have you back because of the choices she's made with you. I would also venture a guess that things aren't going as well as they seem with this other guy so she's making sure she still has a line on you if things with him go south so to speak. I wouldn't give her that it will just hurt you in the end.

Wildcat21 · Jun 1, 2006, 02:22 PM

Yes if he is cool about it... he could get her back... but just don't jump in.

Chery · Jun 2, 2006, 03:30 PM

Honey, if you are liking the 'single life' again, don't do anything to spoil it for yourself, unless you have real lustful feelings and cannot get her out of your mind.

If you still reflect on those 'cute' little things she does, and forget about the 'dumb' things, then you should think it over. But it does not sound like you have any 'residual' sparks left for her.

So, enjoy the life you have now, and keep on trucking. She can fend for herself without you. You don't need to be her 'keeper' and should not feel obligated to make sure her life is OK.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

jc105 · Jun 7, 2006, 06:23 AM

Yeah, definitely enjoying being single, but like I said a long time ago, she is always going to be with me forever, on some level. I still don't know if I would be with her again anyway, what would we say to each other after this...

Anyway, she's got a couple months to try to be my friend, if that's what she wants, but I am outtie in August!

JC

Blazingsun · Jun 11, 2006, 07:25 AM

Careful... It's easier to be strong and firm in your choice when the other person isn't around to cloud your judgement.

Should you guys get together to just 'hang out' old feelings and such could return and sure it may be great for -the moment- but it would leave a bad taste in your mouth afterwards.