[ana101]

I asked my ex if he still had feelings for me.
He said "i have some feelings yes" don't push the matter
What does that mean?
And then when I said do you still love me he said the same thing "dont push the matter"
Yet he still said we can talk when I get back from my trip.
Is there a chance of reconcile?

[Clough]

Hi, ana101!

Just for clarification, is this about the same person that you have spoken about in your other posts?

Thanks!

[ana101]

Oh yes it is haha
I just didn't know how to edit the other ones.

[Clough]

oh yes it is haha
i just didnt know how to edit the other ones.

You just click on "Edit" under the posts. There is a time limit for the ability to do that though.

You seem to be continuing a saga here. Would you mind if all of your posts were on one thread? I think that it would help to do that so as to avoid confusion here.

Thanks!

[belmondo]

This could mean a number of things.

It could mean he still has sexual feelings towards you.

He still loves you and wants to get back with you

He has feelings for you as a friend, special friend

The list goes on!

The only way you are going to find out if he has feelings of a relationship is to ask him more directly or maybe wait until you see him again after your trip.

Try and enjoy your trip, do not consume this all the time or you will have a misrable time.

What will be will be, by you worrying will not change the outcome.

Just use this week to really fiqure out what you want and maybe also think about the issues that brought you to be exes in the first place, will this happen again??

You have to think will this realtionship/friendship benefit my life. Its easy to get caught up in lust and forget your healthy heart and mind.

Please get in touch if you need anymore advice. Keep smiling.

[ana101]

Disregard.

[JBeaucaire]

He's driving me insane...

No, you're doing that to yourself. He's just trying to keep you at arm's length.

What he said was truth. Feelings don't disappear, perhaps ever. Feelings are not the priority when making long-term choices... all the OTHER stuff has to rise to the top. Things like personality, history, actual character, actual chemistry, actual betrayal/loyalty, actual compatibility... none of these things are based on "feelings" and are critical.

Leave him alone. Seriously. He's an EX. Sounds like he wants to stay that way, and YOU won't stop "pushing the matter."

Stop.

[ana101]

Do you know this for a fact?

[JBeaucaire]

I have no idea what you're aiming at with that question. But you did come here and ask.

I DO know for a fact that what I said is true... feelings don't fade and don't need to for intelligent choices to be made. I DO know that the intelligent choice sometimes is you don't follow your heart, you lead it. Sometimes, you lead it in the other direction.

I DO know that this forum is FULL of people asking questions about why someone else is doing/thinking something (like you did), when the only thing you can do ANYTHING about is the stuff you are doing and thinking.

That's why it's almost always true that we drive ourselves insane.

[ana101]

Thank you for that.
But just so you know as well. It wasn't just that that I provoked.
A couple of weeks ago he was telling me he meant that he loved me, and when I asked if he thought it could have worked he said yes.
Then the next day I just told him now he is being selfish. And he wrote. I did mean it, I just don't want to get your or my hopes up just yet.
I am driving myself insane. But he has provoked issues as well as I have.

[ana101]

I meant he provoked the last conversation we had. The one I am talking about above

[JBeaucaire]

I understand. Trying to figure OTHER people out WILL drive you nuts. I just point out that it's US driving ourselves nuts with that activity, it's not them doing it to us.

So, what can you do? You have to just stay on focus about what you want. The other guy is almost irrelevant... almost. Hehe.

I don't know how long you two went out. If it was long enough to really get to know each other and NOW you're going through this stuff, I'd suggest you're wasting time on it.

If you two just barely went out a little bit, then... maybe. Hard to say.

[pimp_mah_alpaka]

No offence, but I don't see why your still with him. You want an answer, yes or no, and if he's still giving you 'don't push it' then don't continue. Be his friend, but don't be more than a friend. You need more respect than what he's dishin out to you.

[ana101]

I am not with him.
He just needs time to clear his head.
I what he is like, and when it comes to this sort of stuff he doesn't know what to do.
After yesterdays conversation, I had to message him today and say look its either a yes or no to wanting to ever be with me again.
And he told me that we will definitely speak when I get back from my trip.
Whether its good or bad. I just want closure.

[pimp_mah_alpaka]

i am not with him.
he just needs time to clear his head.
i what he is like, and when it comes to this sort of stuff he doesnt know what to do.
after yesterdays convo, i had to message him today and say look its either a yes or no to wanting to ever be with me again.
and he told me that we will definatly speak when i get back from my trip.
whether its good or bad. i just want closure.

But still you want a yes or no answer and he is still giving you the same answer. Is it really worth all this time?

[ana101]

Before he wouldn't answer.
Now he says we can talk about it.
There is no harm there.
I am trying my best to move on.

Whilst you're here.
Can you tell me when I a guy really likes you, how do they act around their friends?