[h0llister]

Hello in the future I am going to be having child but wanting a career ( I am studying to be a makeup artist) and my boyfriend is going to take over a family business his hours are like 9am-10pm. I would be the one to stay home and raise them (we want 3 children) for the first year or so plus the pregnancy ( for all 3) I was wondering (this is to mothers) If any of you have had to give up your career to stay at home and raise your children? Or if you were able to how did you manage both? Thank you!

[mjl]

Why do you feel that you have to stay home? If you want to do both you can.

[Bluerose]

It's nice to have a plan but I think you are jumping the gun a bit. Any mother will tell you it was nothing like they thought it would be. Some have found it very difficult to leave their young children with anyone and return to work. They do eventually but it is difficult emotionally. Still I think it's possible to do both. If you're happy, your children will be happy, whether you work or not. If you are miserable your children will be miserable. The secret is balance. And lots of hugs and kisses.

[h0llister]

I know but I would have to take off quite a bit of years , and the industry I am going into you need to always know what's the new hot looks and be up to date on everything. I am worried I won't be able to get back in the industry

[J_9]

Personally, I have always had to manage both. Not because I had to, but because I just am not the stay-at-home kind of gal. I tried with my first two to stay at home, but it never worked out.

[DoulaLC]

I was truly fortunate enough to be able to stay home most of the time when my children were little and it worked very well for me. I am not the sort who can "do it all" well. When I did work, I felt the need to be home more, but when I was home, I felt I should be doing more career wise! Even now, with teaching (that I went back to finish my education on when my kids were older) I feel the pull in all areas of my life and nothing gets the 100% as I would like it to... something always has to give a little as there are just so many hours in a day. I am actually going to be cutting back next year on my private practice and working through one of the hospitals as I feel I need to spend more time at home for awhile.
In the end, you find you simply manage, and some mothers are able to manage better than others. It certainly will depend on your hours and the demands of your career (not to mention the expectations of your boss!). You will find some employers are more "family friendly" than others and some mothers are able to work flexible hours, part-time, job share, etc. which can allow you to be with your children more.
There are pros and cons of going to work when children are young, and staying home when children are young. It really comes down to what works for your family and what your financial needs are. Sometimes choices have to be made in regard to the needs and the wants to make it work, but for me, the kids have to be the main focus... they are young for such a short time, and even when they get to their teens, they sometimes need you around just as much.
You are choosing a profession where you would have some flexibility to take some time off while raising your family and still keep your hand in it enough to get back to it full time later on if you decided to... through occasional workshops and trainings, etc. That is a wonderful option many women simply don't have.

[h0llister]

Thank you so much everyone! This advice has helped me a lot :)

[liz28]

You can have a career with kids, you just always need a back up plan in case something goes wrong and another back up to cover that back up, in case that fail.

Luckily I have a supporting family because it's take a village to raise a child. My mother watched my 7 year old when she was a baby or her father mother, so I didn't have to worry about childcare, and it's expensive.

When you work and have kids you have to be able to balance things out and be prepare for the unexpected. There was many of times I wished work due to my daughter being sick or because I was sitting in the hospital with her the night before or I get a call from her school requesting me to come and get her.

My schedule consists of me getting home by 6pm, helping her with homework, helping her study, cooking, making sure she does her chores and bathe, taking the dog out for a walk, then clean up, then making sure she's in bed by 9pm. Then I wine down and wake up and do it all over again. My day starts at 5:30am. Now I prepare my meals on Sunday and freeze it to cut down on cooking when I get home.

Bacially what I am saying when that day comes when kids are involved you must get prepare for anything. Being a parent is rewarding but times goes by fast and time management is the key. No matter how hard you plan something, with kids your never can predict what can happen.

[h0llister]

Thank you guys, I think I will be able to manage both, ill see what will happen when the time comes. :) thanks again xoxo