[HarryPT]

Hey guyz I have a question
I'm a porn producer and I resently got married. My wife is very open minded and she never questions the income(she likes it alot) but on a long run what problems you think I might encounter, like kids. I know lots of producers and non of them are merried some have kids but... they don't live with them and they are not like the family type on the other hand I'm very family oreanted(even though my parents have no idea what I do) so my question is what do you think is going to happen in future.

[NeedKarma]

I would sock the money away now that you are making good money and prepare for a career change in the future. It would remove a lot of conflict later on in your life.

[HarryPT]

Yeah I figured that out but would you be nice and tell me what kind of conflict are you talking about. That was my main question.I just whanna be ready.

[DrJ]

Does you wife know what you do?

Are you saying you have kids and what happens when they find out or are you saying what happens if you ever have kids?

It will be difficult to tell you what could happen not knowing your personal situation (i.e. age, religious or moral beliefs, etc).

I suppose some kids would be stoked to have a dad that is a porn producer but some would be disgusted.

If you wife doesn't know what you do, you may be headed for some trouble! If it would be okay with her then why doesn't she know now?

[Chery]

I don't know of any woman who minds a lot of money, but as asked before, does your wife know where the money is coming from?

In your case, if you were in the income bracket high enough to be able to keep job from private life forever, then go with it. And if possible keep your production schedules short - and never do any 'couch casting'.

Keep the bodyguards, private schools, villas, etc sucking up your hard earned money.

But you must also remember, you will all age in time, kids will get older, you and the wife will too, and where do you plan to retire?

Now, if you can manage all this, including a nice house for your parents, so that they'll be proud of you no matter what, then all you'll have to think about is how you'll explain it to the kids once they find out and how will they accept your answer - especially if the kids include a few girls.

I could go on and on, but I'm sure that you have run these scenarios already. Hope you can figure out a comfortable plan for you and the family.

Good luck.

[phillysteakandcheese]

Whether you like it or not, sooner or later, everyone will find out -
Your parents, your wife's parents, the kids, parents of your kid's friends, teachers, members of community groups, next door neighbours...

How do you think your wife and kids will be treated by these people? I'm sure some will be accepting, but others will absolutely disagree with your line of work. Will you see if there's a problem? Are you willing to put your family first?

I can image a great deal of stress in the marrige as the novelty and money start to leave you and your wife unfulfilled.

I can image your kids going into mental shock - Imagine your baby girl asking: What does Daddy do? Why aren't I pretty enough to be on Daddy's show?

I don't think it would be an impossible life, but I can easily see a lot of drama and emotion being drummed up.

[HarryPT]

You guys are making lots of good points but let me tell you this I have no kids for now (I posted a question about my wife not getting her period and me tripping out) but she knows what I do she doesn't really care as long as I don't cheat on her with any of my employes. Also about my background I'm armenian (I don't know if you guyz know this or not but armenia was the first nation to except christianity) so my parents and my wife's parents(shes armenian too) are very sensetive about those kind of things.

[Chery]

I don't think that your background has anything to do with what profession you have, but the issue of parents is quite another.

As I suggested previously, if you can keep your private life totally away from your professional life, you can achieve your goal. As long as you and your wife are comfortable in what you do there should be no problem. The only issue here is IF you do have children, and the grandparents do live near you - you will have to keep your business contacts well away from your parents and the kids.

Again, a profession is exactly what it states - a job. And when you reach retirement age, you'd also be better off living in another county or state so that you will have peace and contentment.

The only only question would be if any of your relatives ever see any of your productions - how do you explain this without problems.

Hope this has helped you in some way.

[HarryPT]

Thank you all for your help I have one final question how do you rate an answer?

[J_9]

You click "Comment on this Post" which is across from the name of the person who answered you.

[fredg]

Hi, Harry,
You have received some very good answers.
The decision, of course, is up to you whether to continue with what you do, or find a new line of work.
You always face the chance of the families finding out, and really wouldn't know how long this would upset them, or if it would.
You could always tell the family that you are a Producer and let it go at that. If you have children, then you would have to make that decision later. I do wish you the best, and good luck.

[Myth]

I just wanted to add a piece of advice here. Since you dir. You might also consider a different name to use in the credits of your films just so that you won't have someone draw a line to you. Just a thought... lol