[redwee74]

Okay some of you have read my earlier post and just to let everyone who has given advise know, You all have really helped. I am doing the no contact for a week officially. But here are my questions: Why do nice guys finish last? And I am always going to try and be a nice guy because I have to look at myself in the mirror every morning. And is it true that what comes around goes around? I believe that your decisions and actions put you in situations that make up for the wrongs that one has committed against others. Also that the sins of the father are paid for by the son. Just wondering what others thought about it. This may be in the wrong sections.

1. Why do nice guys finish last?
2. Do people pay for wrongs they have committed?

Oh yeah, I am not wishing bad on anyone I am just wondering has anyone else noticed that bad come back on people.

[FULLofRACQUET]

Nice guys never finish last. NEVER! If you can stick to your convictions and enjoy your life, then you will never be last. The right people will enter your life if you live this way, and you will definitely enjoy the payoff. You just have to have faith. And it might feel like you have lost now, but remember that life has an odd way of working things out. And a lot of times, the things that seem to be the end of the world are usually little blessings in disguise.

And yes, I believe that what goes around comes around. Karma is huge! In one way or another, things tend to catch up with those who have wronged and those who have done right. It might take awhile, but in time it will happen.

Everything happens for a reason.

This feels like one giant, cliché post :)

Just be who you are and keep on living your life of morals and you will be more than fine. Life is one big surprise!

[JBeaucaire]

"Nice guys finish last" is a temporary observation. It appears to be true at the moment it is observed, usually in the middle of having just lost out to some creep on something.

But the adage does not take into account longevity of the loss, or success of the creep to keep what he "won". It is simply a momentary truth.

A more universal truth would be "nice guys finish last, until they don't, and then they've finished best."
===============
"What goes around comes around" is a purely random. It is, at best, wishful thinking. The idea here is "if you're bad, bad things will happen to you, and if you're nice, nice things will happen."

The problem with believing this is that it discounts intelligence. A smart bad guy will surround himself with unwary prey, and may never get "caught" pursuing his particular sin. And nice guys can be victim of random evil in the world, as easily as the next person.

A better adage to ascribe to would be "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." The reason this is better is because it's aimed at yourself, unlike the first adage which is "hopefully" aimed at everyone.

By ascribing to a precept that applies mainly to yourself, you can easily gauge how well you are doing implementing it. Being nice and doing to other people the way you would want them to do to you is a universal relationship tactic most people fail at. You don't have to. Work on that, and amazing things can (and often do) start happening back in your direction.

Dale Carnegie once said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." This is basically the same idea. Aim your ideals at others by living them, not preaching them, and definitely not "wishing" them.

[chuff]

Nice guy syndrom is something I've dealt with my entire life. The problem is nice guys are seen as weak by women because they feel if they can push a guy around then they are not man enough to stand up for them. Furthermore a nice guy doesn't appeal to a woman's sense of or need for drama because we have no use for it so we down play it or just accept it hoping it will move on.

To answer your question about nice guys finishing last I'm hating to say it but yes it appears to be the case. The trick is not to be the nice guy but to be the good guy. The difference is the nice guy does whatever a woman wants but the good guy does what he wants and for the good of the girl but not for the girl.

[talaniman]

Why nice guys finish last?

Baloney

[Jiser]

What's a nice guy? You are who you are.

Have some realistic views on life. Things end, sht happens, sorry for your loss but seriously get to a place where you can be independent and happy alone without anyone.