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    rani72's Avatar
    rani72 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 16, 2008, 05:09 AM
    He doesn't want to see me for a while.
    My partner and I have an on of relationship. We have been together for 15 years and have a 14 year old. We were together when his ex of 17 years resurfaced and they are now friends. She is married with children. She told him she accepted him for what he was and that she could tell by looking in his eyes that he was not happy. He now says that he loves me but is madly in love with her. He has started listening to her type of music, cut down on booze, and making an effort with himself. He says they see each other as friends and go out and about. She texts him often, but only she can contact him. He has completely gone off me sexually and says he wants he does not want to see me face to face though we talk daily on the phone. He has banned me from his flat and even told me I couldn't drive in his area. He says he wants her to have his baby and she wants it badly to.

    What does she want from him and why has he fallen so badly for her?
    How will this end?
    isabelle's Avatar
    isabelle Posts: 309, Reputation: 31
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Sep 16, 2008, 05:39 AM
    This sounds as if it has ended and you have been the one hurt. Don't allow anyone to dictate to you when you or how you have to talk to them. Don't allow this situation to continue. You are only hurting yourself. To continue to play his game will hurt you a lot more than just telling him that you can not and will not live this way.
    You have a right to be happy and this person sounds as if he is using you and is never there for you. I would not expect any changes in him toward you.
    I hope this does not sound mean but you need to get away from a person who is hurting you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 16, 2008, 06:05 AM
    Something is very wrong and now would be a GREAT time to protect yourself, and put this bozo completely out of your life and let him pay child support. He is an idiot.
    rani72's Avatar
    rani72 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Sep 16, 2008, 07:05 AM
    Yes you're right and I know that but I would really like to understand why they r seeing each other. I don't think they're having sex-yet. What will happen to them? Will they have a future?
    ANB428's Avatar
    ANB428 Posts: 450, Reputation: 42
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    #5

    Sep 16, 2008, 07:09 AM
    They are the only ones who know why they are seeing each other. They may be in love and have never gotten over each other. They may be reminising on old times. Who knows? You deserve better than that. I am sure that they will not have a future. Exs are exs for a reason. That reason will come out sooner or later. You need to toss this loser to the curb and find someone who really loves you and your child!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Sep 16, 2008, 07:12 AM
    They are seeing each other for the same reason he saw you. A connection is there, while there is not one with you anymore. Drop this guy and have him pay child support
    fjsmith81's Avatar
    fjsmith81 Posts: 122, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Sep 16, 2008, 07:37 AM
    Rani, have you ever had someone in your life that you were deeply in love with? That I mean love? Like the fairy tales. Someone that is your best friend and you couldn't imagine yourself being without? That may be what they are experiencing. They may have drifted apart through no fault of their own. And maybe that is not what they are experiencing. Maybe they are just trying to relive that part of their life when they thought they were truly happy and the person was in it. You never know how these things will end. There are so many factors here. You shouldn't tear yourself apart by trying to figure out if, when, and how their new relationship will end. Because honestly it should not affect you. Don't give them that power. He hurt you and he shouldn't dictate how you feel and where your life is going to go from here on out. Take some time to relax, go on a trip by yourself if you need to, and focus on feeling better. Then focus on being a great parent to your child.

    Good luck

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