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    tadita83's Avatar
    tadita83 Posts: 130, Reputation: 16
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    #1

    Sep 10, 2008, 05:54 PM
    All Screwed UP!: Serious Christians Only!
    If you are not a serious Christian please do not answer this question. If this turns into a religious debate it does not help me with my problem so please don't corrupt this thread.

    I was raised in a Christian home and gave my heart to the Lord at a young age. I was raised knowing the dos and don'ts. I used to be super on fire for God. I mean I did everything I could with my church, youth group, even organized events and outreach outside of church. Then I got burnt out. I had a lot of people take advantage of me and my unwillingness to say no to a good cause and I just worked myself too hard. About 5 years after the burn out and I still haven't recovered. Not to mention the fact that I finally had a real relationship in that mix somewhere with a guy I thought loved me and he dropped me flat with no explanation as to why. It took me years to get over that relationship and I'm still dealing with "side effects" from it. As for what's going on now, I don't really know who I am anymore. I believe in God, I love Jesus and I know what he did for me, but I find myself loving him, but not being close to him like I used to be. I want to be a good servant, but I just don't know how anymore. I have a hard time motivating myself to read the Bible and I even find myself questioning my faith at times. I've been fighting this battle for years now. Everyone always looked to me for advice and encouragement and I just kind find it anymore but I don't want them to know how far I've backslidin'.

    I've also found myself changing my stance on some things here and there. I was raised ultra conservative. I have decided that some of the things that I was taught I shouldn't do aren't as bad as I originally thought. For example. I was raised not to drink AT ALL. Now I'm thinkin' a glass of wine at dinner or a fruitly little drink on vacation isn't all that bad. Am I compromising or just finding my own way?

    Last part of my delimma I promise! My boyfriend is not a Christian. Its not that he's an atheist or anything he just doesn't understand faith in Christ. He was not raised in a Christian home and these things just don't make sense to him. I'm not pushing him , but I do invite him to church and church functions and I don't hide the fact that I am a Christian. I do however believe that I'm not the best example for him to learn from. But I love him (although I haven't been able to tell him yet) I believe that God brought the two of us together because the circumstances around us even meeting were so awesome. More to this situation though. The bad relationship from earlier, I keep letting that effect the way I think. Its like my brain won't stop thinking. I analyze everything he does and assume that it's a sign that he's losing interest or fear that he's going to dump me. I can't stop no matter how hard I try. He hasn't done anything that a normal person would see as a sign of a break up, but I'm so scarred from this last guy, that I worry constantly about him leaving me. I worry so much that I can't enjoy the relationship.

    As you can see I seem to be totally screwed up. So please give me some advice!!
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
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    #2

    Sep 10, 2008, 07:19 PM
    We all lose our way sometimes because we are human. It is important to take care of yourself so that you can be strong in your faith. Overextending yourself doesn't do anyone any good - as you have found out.
    You do not have to believe everything you were taught as a child. You need to take this information and make educated decisions about your personal relationship with God. Your teachers are also human.
    Now might be a good time for you visit other churches in your community. Perhaps you will find one that feels like a better fit for you. Be open with your boyfriend about your confusion with your faith and your desire to renew it. Invite him to search with you. Perhaps he will be more interested if he sees it as something you are building together - not him joining you in your church with your family and friends.
    As for your past relationship effecting your relationship with him... Do not punish him for what someone else did to you. Let your past be a lesson of caution, but do not let it keep you from living your life.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Sep 10, 2008, 07:40 PM
    One of the worst mistakes too many christians do is not just living their faith and allowing them to use the talents God gave them, but they feel they have to do everything and take care of everybody, it can not happen.

    Next I am not saying this is the case but every blessing or what we feel is a blessing is not always from God, it sometimes is a distraction. For example a pastor may get a offer for a large church, he takes it since God is giving it to him, while in fact God had wanted him to take the small church that could not pay a full time salary since that was where he was needed.

    But the other is forgivenss, we have to learn to forgive others and not try to drag the past with us,
    cogs's Avatar
    cogs Posts: 415, Reputation: 27
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    #4

    Sep 10, 2008, 08:12 PM
    I think we all feel insecure in our walk with god sometimes. I believe god leads us even when we don't expect it. God's knowledge is complete, and the things he wants to teach us may span years. I would say give it some time, and keep repenting of anything you feel is a sin. Also, remember,
    Mar 7:15 there is nothing from without the man, that going into him can defile him; but the things which proceed out of the man are those that defile the man.
    Mar 7:16 [If any man hath ears to hear, let him hear.]
    Mar 7:17 And when he was entered into the house from the multitude, his disciples asked of him the parable.
    Mar 7:18 And he saith unto them, Are ye so without understanding also? Perceive ye not, that whatsoever from without goeth into the man, [it] cannot defile him;
    Mar 7:19 because it goeth not into his heart, but into his belly, and goeth out into the draught? [This he said], making all meats clean.
    Mar 7:20 And he said, That which proceedeth out of the man, that defileth the man.
    Mar 7:21 For from within, out of the heart of men, evil thoughts proceed, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries,
    Mar 7:22 covetings, wickednesses, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, railing, pride, foolishness:
    Mar 7:23 all these evil things proceed from within, and defile the man.

    So you can see that it's really about your inner life with god that's important.
    Moparbyfar's Avatar
    Moparbyfar Posts: 262, Reputation: 49
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    #5

    Sep 10, 2008, 10:31 PM
    To really draw close to God we need to be genuine when we pray and ask for guidance and direction. This brings true intimacy with you and your grand creator, who loves you and wants to be close to you. But we have to make the effort.
    To not really want to read deeply into his word is telling God that you can't really be bothered getting to know him properly. Just appearing to be christian on the outside is a far cry from truly following Jesus footsteps. It's certainly not easy being a true christian, but with the effort comes rich blessings and a wonderful reward at the end.

    Ask yourself first how serious you really are about walking down that right path.
    Then if you still think you're prepared to make necessary adjustments in your life, pray about it and ask for God's holy spirit to guide you and help walk the true path.
    Don't just leave it at that. You need to take action in order to exercise faith in God (John 3:16), so start reading and taking in knowledge of him (John 17:3) and try to apply fully what you learn.

    Drinking is not an offense to christians but it's the becoming intoxicated that is a sin (1 Cor 9:10; Gal 5:19-24; Prov 20:1).

    2 Cor 6:14 warns us that becoming involved with someone who doesn't share our beliefs can lead to disaster. It is your life but God wants you to enjoy it and be safe not only from harming ourselves but also from what Satan can do to harm us. The only way we can keep Satan at bay is by drawing close to God and keeping ourselves in his love.

    I love this scripture Tadita in 2 Tim 3:16 - "ALL scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching and reproving and setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness."

    May the path you take from now on truly set things straight for you. :)
    Galveston1's Avatar
    Galveston1 Posts: 362, Reputation: 53
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    #6

    Sep 11, 2008, 12:29 PM
    You need to understand that every child of God will be tested, no one is exempt. Let me share a few scriptures with you that I have found helpful through many years. You WILL be tempted but:
    1 Cor 10:13
    13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
    (KJV)

    Jesus is faithful to us. Listen to what the Apostle Paul said here:
    2 Tim 1:12
    12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.
    (KJV)

    Paul had committed himself, body and soul to Jesus and he was confident that Jesus would never let him down, and Jesus will not let you down either. This scripture is the first one I committed to memory and it has helped me many times in time of stress.

    Jesus forgives all kinds of sin, and believers sometimes need thaf forgiveness. When we do sin, Jesus is our lawyer at the bar of Heaven.
    I Jn 2:1
    1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:
    (KJV)

    Jesus died for you and me nearly 2,000 years ago, but what has He done for us lately? He is praying for us! Rejoice in knowing that He knows how to get His prayers answered.
    Rom 8:34
    34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
    (KJV)

    No one, not even Satan has any right to condemn us. What wonderful news!

    Do you have a friend who is a strong Christian? If so, ask them to pray with you. You don't need to tell any details, just say that you are going throug a difficult time.

    And finally, remember that the "secret" of living a successful Christian life is to get up just one more time than you get knocked down.

    You have my prayers.
    De Maria's Avatar
    De Maria Posts: 1,359, Reputation: 52
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    #7

    Sep 11, 2008, 01:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tadita83
    If you are not a serious Christian please do not answer this question. If this turns into a religious debate it does not help me with my problem so please don't corrupt this thread.
    Ok.

    I was raised in a Christian home and gave my heart to the Lord at a young age. I was raised knowing the dos and don'ts. I used to be super on fire for God. I mean I did everything I could with my church, youth group, even organized events and outreach outside of church. Then I got burnt out. I had a lot of people take advantage of me and my unwillingness to say no to a good cause and I just worked myself too hard. About 5 years after the burn out and I still haven't recovered. Not to mention the fact that I finally had a real relationship in that mix somewhere with a guy I thought loved me and he dropped me flat with no explanation as to why. It took me years to get over that relationship and I'm still dealing with "side effects" from it. As for what's going on now, I don't really know who I am anymore. I believe in God, I love Jesus and I know what he did for me, but I find myself loving him, but not being close to him like I used to be. I want to be a good servant, but I just don't know how anymore. I have a hard time motivating myself to read the Bible and I even find myself questioning my faith at times. I've been fighting this battle for years now. Everyone always looked to me for advice and encouragement and I just kind find it anymore but I don't want them to know how far I've backslidin'.

    You might want to read about the Purgative way.
    CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: State Or Way (Purgative, Illuminative, Unitive)

    Essentially, what a study of the Saints has revealed is that when we are converted to God, we seem to go through a honeymoon stage which many call being "on fire".

    At that time, loving God and doing His will is easy. But there comes a time when God seems to hide from us. At that time, doing His will becomes a chore. But this is when we obtain more graces. Its easy to roll down hill. But when we have to struggle to remain united to God, that is when we reveal our true love for Him.

    You are perhaps going through this stage in your life, when it doesn't come easy to love God. But, if you hang in there, God will reward you:
    Hebrews 11 6 But without faith it is impossible to please God. For he that cometh to God, must believe that he is, and is a rewarder to them that seek him.

    I've also found myself changing my stance on some things here and there. I was raised ultra conservative. I have decided that some of the things that I was taught I shouldn't do aren't as bad as I originally thought. For example. I was raised not to drink AT ALL. Now I'm thinkin' a glass of wine at dinner or a fruitly little drink on vacation isn't all that bad. Am I compromising or just finding my own way?

    Last part of my delimma I promise! My boyfriend is not a Christian. Its not that he's an atheist or anything he just doesn't understand faith in Christ. He was not raised in a Christian home and these things just don't make sense to him. I'm not pushing him , but I do invite him to church and church functions and I don't hide the fact that I am a Christian. I do however believe that I'm not the best example for him to learn from. But I love him (although I haven't been able to tell him yet) I believe that God brought the two of us together because the circumstances around us even meeting were so awesome. More to this situation though. The bad relationship from earlier, I keep letting that effect the way I think. Its like my brain won't stop thinking. I analyze everything he does and assume that it's a sign that he's losing interest or fear that he's going to dump me. I can't stop no matter how hard I try. He hasn't done anything that a normal person would see as a sign of a break up, but I'm so scarred from this last guy, that I worry constantly about him leaving me. I worry so much that I can't enjoy the relationship.

    As you can see I seem to be totally screwed up. So please give me some advice!!
    As St. Paul said:

    Ephesians 5 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh 32 This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the church.

    Although he is still your boyfriend and as yet not your husband, a relationship of love with a man has the same dynamics as a relationship of love with Jesus Christ.

    At first, it is easy to love. But then, after many dates and the familiar becomes, shall we say it, boring. It then becomes an act of will to continue to love. It is at this point that faith kicks in. Faith in each other. Not blind faith. But faith which is earned. Is he there when he says he'll be there? Does he provide what he says he'll provide? Is he caring? Etc. These are questions you must answer for yourself. Because you need evidence to build faith that he will be as loving after the marriage as he is before. Because no matter what anyone says, faith alone is dead. No one wants empty words and promises.

    And these are questions that he must answer for himself about you as well. He also needs evidence of your love and faith. Do you keep your promises? Can he have faith that you will be as loving after the marriage as you are before?

    In the end, each of you must WILL to love each other the way that you love the Lord. Better, if you can love each other the way that the Lord loves the Church. He died on the Cross to save Her.

    Sincerely,

    De Maria
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #8

    Sep 11, 2008, 01:29 PM
    Don't label yourself as "all screwed up" that is a total exaggeration! You are a woman of character with needs who is in a situation that has her emotions up! A normal experience in the life of a woman. :) You want to have a man/husband; the problem is that he is not your idea of a good Christian man... in fact he has no faith. Secondly, and really most important to you, you worry about what might happen if you love him and he leaves you like your first boyfriend. That is very, very painful.

    I am reminded of a famous quote from, I forget who!.
    "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".

    I had to answer because I'm happy for you. :) Don't plan too far ahead in your imagination. LIve one day at a time if you decide to continue with this man. :)
    gromitt82's Avatar
    gromitt82 Posts: 370, Reputation: 23
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    #9

    Sep 12, 2008, 09:02 AM
    Let me just introduce myself as a Roman Catholic. I was raised in a Christian home too but the avatars of life sort of quenched my initial devotion. I was very busy trying to succeed in life to pay much attention to my eventual success (much more important) in my other life. Gradually, I became what I would define as one of the many indifferent Catholics that can be found in those countries where allegedly everyone is supposed to be a born Catholic. I'm Spanish. That may clarify what I'm saying.
    When I retired, though, I think Jesus sort of enlighten me again and ever since, I am intently trying to make up for all these past years with the hope I will be able to square my accounts –which are in the red- with GOD.
    This is just to explain that Faith is a very delicate flower, that is exposed to all kinds of weather harshness and, consequently, needs constant attention to avoid its withering.

    Backsliding is very common, unfortunately, when we lose sight of the truly important facts of life, which is not difficult bearing in mind the materialist world we are all living in.

    I do not know what Christian denomination were you raised into. But I do not think you are compromising by having a glass of wine or a fruitly little drink every now and then. At least, not from my Catholic point of view.

    I must say that some tool that has helped me a lot into redirect my life is to read everyday's Gospel with a short commentary included. I have found this web: Contemplating today's Gospel - Gospel catholic homilies where you can subscribe for free, and receive it by e-mail, every day, in English.
    I do not think it matters whether you are not Catholic for, after all, the Gospels are the same for ALL denominations, aren't they?

    As for the last part of your dilemma just remember that Jesus died in the Cross for ALL mankind. And please stop worrying that he may eventually drop you. It does not necessarily follow that what happened once has to happen again. Show him that you love him and, more often than not, this may work out extremely well.

    You are not “totally screwed up”. Just a little confused, perhaps. But who is not these days?
    jakester's Avatar
    jakester Posts: 582, Reputation: 165
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    #10

    Oct 28, 2008, 07:28 PM

    tadita83 -

    I'm not sure if there is any interest left in this thread but I did want to try to encourage you with some thoughts.

    It seems like your experience in your walk is really not uncommon at all. All serious-minded believers go through a "honey-moon stage" as another has put it... we love our new found joy at the thought of God forgiving us of our sins and experiencing a true transformation of our minds and hearts. But as time goes on, something happens.

    Over the past few years, I have personally come face to face with something in the bible that was not immediately clear to me when I became a believer. That is, that God intends to try our faith... to test it, not because He needs proof that it's authentic but because we need proof that it's authentic in a subjective way. Let me explain.

    James says in Ch 1 of his letter, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." What I understand James to be saying here is that we will face trials in our lives and when we do, we are to count it all joy when we face them. What is he saying?

    The idea of all New Testament writers on this subject is that when a person believes that Jesus Christ is Lord, that initial faith, although real and authentic, is a very immature faith. God's desire is to mature our faith so that when we are tested, we see that our commitment to God is real and lasting, not a fleeting thing that happened at a point in time and that was it. The idea of "lacking in nothing" as James puts it means not lacking in faith. It is a faith that has been tested and after being tested that faith has been found to be the real deal.

    Here's an example from Scripture. When Abraham was promised a son, he waited on that promise for almost his whole life. God had said he would give him a son through whom all the nations of the world would be blessed. Then God gave him Isaac. Years later God asked Abraham to take his son, whom he loved, and kill him. What we fail to appreciate is the anguish in Abraham's soul at this request. He might have thought "anything God, but this; please not my son." But you see, Abraham pushed through that anguish and as Hebrews says, "he reckoned that God was able to raise Isaac from the dead." It was when Abraham decided in this that his faith in God became really mature and was perfected... or made complete. Abraham's faith had become a faith full of the kind of commitment that resonates with a soul-stirring strength. For Abraham, there was no turning back.

    What does this mean for you, tadita? I don't know the ways in which God chooses to work in all of our lives but if the bible is any indication, God is very active is this process. Perhaps what you needed most was a scenario in which who you are and what you really want in this life was forced out into the open. God uses all of the things in our lives to bring about good, according to His purposes, to those who He has called. If you love God, keep pursuing Him and if you find in your life that you keep coming back to the truth and you cannot escape Him and your heartfelt commitment to Him, then reckon yourself to be one of His. We ought to take heart in the fact that "He who has begun a good work in you will finish it upon the day of Jesus Christ." You may not always know what you should do but trying your best to obey God and walk in what you know and understand is where it's at. Don't despair but trust that God is bringing us through this process of life and shaping us for the life that is to come.
    adam7gur's Avatar
    adam7gur Posts: 372, Reputation: 38
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    #11

    Oct 29, 2008, 11:20 PM

    tadita83
    All I can think about is just one word. ''RESET''!!
    You wrote ''I worry so much that I can't enjoy the relationship.'' meaning the relationship with your boyfriend but I think that is also the problem about your relationship with Jesus.
    Keep it simple!
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    inthebox Posts: 787, Reputation: 179
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    #12

    Nov 1, 2008, 09:16 PM



    Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": November 2nd.


    The Lord does not give me rules, He makes His standard very clear, and if my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without any hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love some one else in competition with Him...


    Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": October 31st.

    God wants you to understand that it is a life of faith, not a life of sentimental enjoyment of His blessings. Your earlier life of faith was narrow and intense, settled around a little sun-spot of experience that had as much of sense as of faith in it, full of light and sweetness; then God withdrew His conscious blessings in order to teach you to walk by faith. You are worth far more to Him now than you were in your days of conscious delight and thrilling testimony.



    Know this - God is the father waiting to celebrate the prodigal - Never will He leave or forsake you.

    In your 4th paragraph, you seem overly concerned with your boyfriend - I think if you concentrate on your relationship with Christ first, things will work out.
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    savedsinner7 Posts: 412, Reputation: 52
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    #13

    Nov 3, 2008, 04:35 PM

    Hi. I did notice that you made much mention of the trials and tribulations in your life, but no mention of your current relationship with Jesus. May I suggest getting on your knees and finding Him again? When we get to the end of ourselves, that's where He is waiting to catch us. As long as we "try" to be christians without allowing His Holy Spirit access to our daily lives, we will fail. We cannot, for we were not made to, live the Christian life without the help of the Helper. We were made to breathe Him in, live in Him and love in Him. We cannot be complete without this vital relationship in place. Christianity any other way is religion--man's attempt at getting to God. True religion--Christianity as Jesus taught--is through His Holy Spirit, by God's grace.
    arcura's Avatar
    arcura Posts: 3,773, Reputation: 191
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    #14

    Nov 3, 2008, 10:45 PM
    Tadita82,
    So far you have received some excellent advice from several folks here.
    I just have one thing to add. It is a question.
    Have you forgiven that guy who dumped you?
    I suspect not.
    It is important that you do so.
    To forgive others is a blessing for it dumps the burden and regrets from you mind and soul.
    Remember that God forgives us AS WE forgive others.
    Peace and kindness,
    Fred (arcura)
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    clhend Posts: 44, Reputation: 9
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    #15

    Nov 9, 2008, 03:42 PM
    Tadita82,
    As stated previously you've received some great Biblical and loving advice. There is something that I would like to address that hasn't really been tackled in depth. There's a reason why the Bible says we are not to be "unequally yoked together" with unbelievers.

    I, too, was raised in an ultra-conservative denomination, was saved at 5, served the Lord, but when I was in my early 20's I drifted away (because of associating with unbelievers). During that time I married a man who "got saved" after I told him I wouldn't marry a non-believer. His "salvation" lasted no longer than it took the ink to dry on the marriage certificate. The marriage ended after 4 years when he "fell in love" with a married co-worker.

    The only good thing about the marriage is that I cam back fully to the Lord. However what followed was a number of years where I didn't "feel" close to the Lord. Times I would stumble, ask forgiveness and then go on.

    Eventually I remarried, again to a man who claimed to be a Christian. I quickly learned otherwise. It was a rough 7 years.

    Believe me, the only way to avoid marrying a non-believer is to stand your ground and determine not to waste time even dating a non-believer. For one thing, when it comes to spiritual things you have nothing to discuss. Even if he gets saved, without some time to concentrate on the Lord and the Word, he'll have a tough time being the spiritual leader of the relationship.

    At 51 and slightly overweight, some men think I should be grateful for any attention. I very quickly (but gently) let them know that unless they are 100% sold out to Jesus Christ and a mature believer, then we really have nothing in common.

    Just some words from a "been there done that" and don't want to repeat it.
    arcura's Avatar
    arcura Posts: 3,773, Reputation: 191
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    #16

    Nov 9, 2008, 04:36 PM
    clhend,
    Thanks for sharing your story with us.
    I hope we learn from it.
    Peace and kindness,
    Fred
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    gromitt82 Posts: 370, Reputation: 23
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    #17

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by clhend View Post
    tadita82,
    As stated previously you've received some great Biblical and loving advice. There is something that I would like to address that hasn't really been tackled in depth. There's a reason why the Bible says we are not to be "unequally yoked together" with unbelievers.

    I, too, was raised in an ultra-conservative denomination, was saved at 5, served the Lord, but when I was in my early 20's I drifted away (because of associating with unbelievers). During that time I married a man who "got saved" after I told him I wouldn't marry a non-believer. His "salvation" lasted no longer than it took the ink to dry on the marriage certificate. The marriage ended after 4 years when he "fell in love" with a married co-worker.

    The only good thing about the marriage is that I cam back fully to the Lord. However what followed was a number of years where I didn't "feel" close to the Lord. Times I would stumble, ask forgiveness and then go on.

    Eventually I remarried, again to a man who claimed to be a Christian. I quickly learned otherwise. It was a rough 7 years.

    Believe me, the only way to avoid marrying a non-believer is to stand your ground and determine not to waste time even dating a non-believer. For one thing, when it comes to spiritual things you have nothing to discuss. Even if he gets saved, without some time to concentrate on the Lord and the Word, he'll have a tough time being the spiritual leader of the relationship.

    At 51 and slightly overweight, some men think I should be grateful for any attention. I very quickly (but gently) let them know that unless they are 100% sold out to Jesus Christ and a mature believer, then we really have nothing in common.

    Just some words from a "been there done that" and don't want to repeat it.

    Thanks for a very sobering and instructing story and my personal congratulations (whatever that may mean to you) for knowing quite clearly the way to follow to get "There", where we ALL want to get...
    clhend's Avatar
    clhend Posts: 44, Reputation: 9
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    #18

    Nov 10, 2008, 04:34 PM
    If even one person learns from what I've gone through, then it was worth it. If one young woman realizes that this life here is less than a blip on the radar of time, yet eternity will be... just that: forever.

    If she realizes that only by being absolutely focused on Jesus Christ will she ever have true happiness, then sharing my story is worth it.

    Then when the Lord brings a mate into her life, that that union will be blessed of God. That doesn't mean they won't have problems, we live in a sinful world. But if they make the Lord the center of their relationship, then it won't end in divorce. There won't be mistreatment. Each will fulfill his or her role in the relationship.
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    arcura Posts: 3,773, Reputation: 191
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    #19

    Nov 10, 2008, 07:32 PM
    clhend,
    I really like your attitude.
    Peace and kindness,
    Fred
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    kraussnumber2 Posts: 105, Reputation: 10
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    #20

    Nov 11, 2008, 03:34 AM

    I too have often felt less on fire then I have been at times. I would say that you need to take a less demanding role in your church. Take yourself out of any administrative position and out of the "office" part of church events. You should try to just be one of the participants for awhile again so you can focus on the meaning instead of the amount of seating, etc. Maybe you should go to a convention or camp (depending on your age) Or like a retreat or something to help you get away from everyday life and refocus. Maybe you need to find a new church that worships in a way that you find more exciting with a pastor who speaks more "your language" Also try speaking to your current pastor or other church person about your concerns and get the support of the clergy behind you. I too find it hard to sit and read the bible or pray or do other Christian activities. Set aside a specific time frame for you to read every day or once a week or whatever you feel comfortable with. Then make yourself sit and read or pray for that time every time. Even if it is just five minutes on your way to work on Monday mornings that you have a conversation with God. Or the ten minutes after you get home on Thursdays before your favorite show comes on. Just to dedicate yourself and committ yourself to getting back on track. After awhile it will become fun again.
    The bible teaches that we shouldn't be with a non-believer. That is for you to decide what to do with. You know what the bible teaches but you can decide how strictly to "abide" by that. It does bring about compications not only in your faith but also in the relationship because there are things you simply won't ever agree on based on religious views. No one can tell you what you should do about that. As long as he doesn't stop you from worshiping and doesn't condemn you for doing so then I think it is OK but be aware of the compications that will inevitably arise.
    AS far as the drinking and what not... I think you are just finding your own way. The bible does not tell you not to drink... it does say not to get drunk but I feel that when you are reading the entire context of that part it is not saying that getting drunk one Friday night is sinful but rather giving into alcoholism is sinful. Again that is for you to interpret as well as to discuss with a trusted church advisor from your place of worship. Again... I feel you are just finding your own way. I had a friend whose famiy very strictly did not visit any business on Sundays as they felt it was not right to make someone else work on the day of rest. Now as a young adult she carried that tradition for awhile but has since made up her own mind about that situation and will occasionally do those things on Sundays. This does not make her a sinner... just makes her an educated adult who doesn't feel as though there is anything wrong with this in today's culture. I hope you find your fire again cause it is awesome when your soul burns for God. Don't wait too long to talk to someone from your church. The ember taken out of the fire will soon burn out but place it back in the fireplace and it will soon ignite and erupt back into flames!

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