[ChihuahuaMomma]

I don't believe that all people do this. My group of besties include Danielle (super-fit beautiful tattooed girl), Ashley (wheel-chair bound free spirit super feminist), and Rudy (8th grade best friend, he used to be overweight and now he's a chick magnet), I'm the token chubby chick. I love all my friends and everyone else for who they are.

I see people's reactions to physical differences in people on a daily basis. I work with developmentally disabled adults. When we go to the doctor or on a daily outting, people stare.

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

I suppose the problem with staring at 'different' people is whether the people being started at want to be or not!

Obviously people with an illness or birth defect may not want to be seen as different and so won't, whereas a punk, with multiple piercings and a pink mohawk blatantly wants to stand out from the crowd!

I look at 'different' people all the time, I suppose I'm just curious and intrigued by them... then again, it doesn't take a lot to be 'different' in my books!

[Synnen]

I have 9 holes total in my ears. I have a tattoo---discreet, and not publicly viewable. My navel is pierced. And--when I was in college--I've had every hair color that is imaginable.

I most DEFINITELY did not do ANY of the above for shock value. I did it for the fun of it, and because it was a way of expressing myself. Believe me, if I didn't have to look "professional" for work, I would STILL be doing wacky things with my hair, including multiple colors at once.

Dying your hair purple is no more (and no less!) a bid for attention than wearing designer clothing or buying a Prada bag.

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

I hope this isn't starting to stray from the topic...

I know what you're saying Synnen, but when you were doing all these things did you think "Ah, no-one will pay any attention to this!"?

[starbuck8]

I meant, to be more specific, people that get many piercings and tatoos. Like piercings all the way across their eyebrows, or all over their face, and get large tatoos on their faces, neck, or somewhere that will always be visible. The hair color is a minor thing, that can be easily corrected, as yes it's usually a fun thing, and I used to do it too. I basically meant the people who do all of these things at a time, and how they really are seen. It's too bad that people are judged this way, but they are.

But even something as simple as multi-colored hair, you really can't get too upset when people stare. It's not the norm, and people will look and judge, which isn't a good thing, but it's to be expected. But if you are looking for a respectable job, most times unless you are looking for that job in the creative arts field, it will be looked down upon in the professional sense. I'm not saying I agree with that, but that's the way society is.

[Synnen]

Nope. Not at all what I was thinking.

But--What's the point of the designer clothing if not to get attention? Where's the difference between blue hair and $400 blue jeans?

Style is style is style---and we each have our own. It's just that the people with a more traditional view of style have issues with those of us that would LOVE to change our hair color weekly, just for the fun of it. How is changing my hair color to something unusual every season different from the girls that HAVE to have clothing from the new fashion season--regardless how ridiculous THOSE fashions are? (I mean, come on! Who the HELL thought that wedges should come back? What idiot was THAT?)

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

Very true! A plunging neckline will get my attention just as much as a head of blue hair!

I don't like the fact people look and judge by appearances, but it's just the way society is!
There is a 'norm' that (the majority of) society sticks to and sees as 'acceptable' in everyday situations. If you don't conform, then you are an outsider, regardless of what sort of person you are on the inside, and you will get stared at, and comments will be made.

But as you say, each person has their own views on style. But if you chose a 'different' style, you should be ready for the repercussions.

Now if you're different through no choice of your own... a physical / mental defect or the such, you are, unfortunately, still as vunerable to the stares and comments, but through no fault of your own. That's just the way people are I'm afraid.

[SweetDee]

I agree w/ so many of you it's not even funny. I agree that if you are out of the "norm" people will judge you in a negative fashion if you're applying for a conservative type job... It pisses me off so much because the most awesome people I have ever met were those that wore their personalities in their hair design and in their piercings/tattoos.

The type of staring when it's done to a person whom suffers an outward physical disability is a WHOLE other type of stare... not what this tread is about even a little...

As far as being prepared for the repercussions, I feel that the times are changing a little. I know a few people who are very funky and interesting to enjoy and they are in computers and "profiling".

Times are changing...

[Synnen]

Whether you need to be conventional in your job completely depends on your job.

I know a guy that makes 6 figures, no joke, who has a blue mohawk, lots of earrings, pierced eyebrows, a nose ring, a tattoo on his neck, wears ratty jeans and flannels and combat boots. He's a software designer.

I, on the other hand, have the "respectable" position of assistant registrar. People EXPECT me to look like a fuddy duddy.

Bah.

[Alty]

Synnen, you will never be a fuddy duddy.

I have a tattoo, it is visible, but I didn't do it to get noticed, I did it in remembrance of my parents, and it's visible because to me that was important, I wanted to share my grief, and my healing. :)

I have colored my hair, but never a really outrageous color, red is probably the most "risky" color I've had.

I have four piercings, all in my ears. :) I'd love to get a belly piercing, but I've had two kids, the belly is not going to be seen by the public! ;)

Last year I was shopping with my son, and this young man, dressed head to toe in black, wearing army boots a trench jacket, all black, multi colored mohawk, piercings everywhere (he would have set of the metal detectors in the airport) and a tattoo, came up and asked me what time it was. I told him, and he was about to walk away when my son said "I love your mohawk!" The young guy turned to him, put out his hand and said "high five little dude!" Jared was thrilled and asked the guy if he'd like to go to the food court with us, we were getting ice cream. The guys said "I don't think your mom would like that". I asked him why he'd think that. He looked at me, puzzled, and said "Most moms don't like the way I look". My response, "I'm not most moms". He declined our invite because he was late for something, but we see him once in a while, and we always wave to him, and he waves back. He's a nice guy, the outside is just that, and you can't judge a book by it's cover.

[0rphan]

Hi Sweetdee... an anorak, is a padded jacket with a hood that pulls in around the face if it's cold and wet... mostley worn in the late 60's, although today people do still wear them.

Usually kids who don't have the latest gear or kids who are made to wear them by their parents are now known as anoraks... a bit of a divey.

These days you don't even have to be wearing one, if the persons a bit slow on the uptake of something... a bit dry so to speak then their automtically referred to as... "he's a right anorak".. the sort of person that might go train spotting.

I hope you understand what I mean, it's very difficult to put into words.



No disrespect intended to any one that wears an anorak.

[Moomin]

I think it's terrible you are all saying that someone without tattoos and piercings is 'the norm', this is what feels normal to some people! I could understand even ten years ago why people would be shocked to see coloured hair, piercings and tattoos but now we see it all the time walking down the street! I think if you are going to start that you have to answer what is 'normal'?

Synnen I cannot agree more that people don't do it for attention, it is as natural to them as buying designer jeans is to others!

Back to topic...
I think sometimes a 'hotty' will be friends with a 'big girl' but I think, depending on the personalities, it has the same effect as discussed about money - they both end up feeling bad! Sometimes the 'hotty' will feel bad when she gets all the male attention and the 'big girl' will feel bad because she sees her friend the 'hotty' is only wanted for her body and doesn't make real male friends!

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

But they're (or should that be "we're") not normal! I don't think society has a definition of 'normal'... but it's very easy to pick out things that are 'abnormal'.

Tattoos, outlandish hair syles, crazy fashion... they're all breaking away from what society sees as conventional. Surely the people doing this know this fact?

You've got to admit that tattoos have a whole ream of negative connotations attached to them. In some cultures they're linked to gang warfare. In some religions they're banned. Sometimes they are marks of time served in prison. I know the number of people having tattoos may be on the rise, but I bet the majority of people would be horrified at the thought of having one done!

Let's face it, save the few odd careers, if you've got a wacky haircut, facial piercings or tattoos that can't easily be covered up, you're not going to get the job over that 'normal' person! I know it's a terrible indictment of the way society views things, but it's just the way it is!

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Just a fun fact, as of 2004 24% of Americans between 24-50 are tattooed.

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

Just a fun fact, as of 2004 24% of Americans between 24-50 are tattooed.

Yep, and;

The highest incidence of tattoos was found among the gay, lesbian and bisexual population (25%)...

:D

[ChihuahuaMomma]

That makes sense since 2.5 to 3% of the American population is Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual.

Also, another statistic. 83% of people that have tattoos do not regret the decision.

[Moomin]

Ok iAm! I think that is kind of the point we don't have a definition for 'normal' but why should anyone who has tattoos or peircings be singled out more than someone who treats Topshop as a religious pillar?

I also consider your point about tattoos in certain cultures being a negative thing, however in some cultures they are used to celebrate rite of passage and are not a negative thing at all! I am personally a lot more scared of other so called 'conventional' people in society than someone with a bit of flare to them!

(By the way, a friend of mine showed me a book in which there was a section dedicated to women in the 1950's being covered in tattoos, they also still wore the 'Better Homes' dresses and I think they looked awesome! Haha!)

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

Also, another statistic. 83% of people that have tattoos do not regret the decision.

Or 17% of people that have tattoos regret the decision! Ha ha! :D

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

[ChihuahuaMomma]

(By the way, a friend of mine showed me a book in which there was a section dedicated to women in the 1950's being covered in tattoos, they also still wore the 'Better Homes' dresses and I think they looked awesome! Haha!)

And that style is definitely coming back!

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

... why should anyone who has tattoos or peircings be singled out more than someone who treats Topshop as a religious pillar?

Because you can very easily change your clothes for various situations, it's much more difficult to change hair / remove tattoos / cover up piercing holes. Topshop is a highstreet store, so is part of current fashion trends. Topshop do some very nice stuff actually! Ha ha!

I honestly don't know how anyone can think having a tattoo is a conventional thing... I'm dumbfounded! :confused: