[SweetDee]

Why are we all so obsessed w/ the way OTHER people look? If she's obese, can you be friends w/ her anyway and just get to know her FOR HER? If she's a stone fox can you go beyond her surface and get to know HER for her? Why is so difficult to be friends w/ people who are a little different?

Do all over weight people have to be ONLY friends w/ one another? Do all hotties have to? Can they not intermingle?

I'm suggesting that a hottie be best friends w/ a big girl, (:eek:). I am also suggesting that people imagine that beyond the surface there lives a personality that has feelings and emotions, opinions, intelligence, plus plus...

Why do we judge people by their exterior? I know it's insecurity... but why can't we all take the opportunity to get to know one another with out the fear and insecurity.

For that matter, while we're at it: Can the working class have friends who are wealthy and living in manshions, driving Bentley's? And visa verse?

I'm curious how you all might answer...

[starbuck8]

I think it's how society has trained people how to act towards others SweetDee.

Men have their girlie mags, women have their fashion mags. The guys think they have to have a hottie on their arm, so their loser friends don't make fun of them, and the girls need to have the hot guy, and one up their gf's on what kind of purse or pair of shoes they have.

I personally think it's a little crazy, because even the hottest girl in the world can be the biggest B*tch, and have a hollow inside, and the same go for the guys.

I have known some pretty hot guys that have asked me out, but I usually fall for the ones that seem to have more on the inside, than on the outside. (although that hasn't always worked for me either, lol) A pretty person can get ugly really quick if they have a nasty outlook, and attitude.

I'm 5'7"/140lbs, but I've been up to 180 before. I got treated differently. But, regardless of anyone's weight, I judged them by their inside. However, I did have a friend that was extremely over weight. I always liked her, and hung out with her. She decided to get gastric bypass surgery, and now she snubs me, even though I stuck around when everyone else made fun of her.

So my conclusion, is that it is totally about the character you have, and how willing you are to look past the outer shell.

[SweetDee]

I agree.. it really is about the inside and not the outside.

I have a lot of beautiful friends that are so confident and easy to be around, including myself... I just wish people could see further than the skin.

I have stories to tell about those who snub those whom are "physically advantaged".. lol. It's as difficult to be accepted as a beautiful woman than it is to be accepted as an unattractive one. The comparables are equivalent. It's all just too ridiculous!

[Emland]

I think it may be a throw back to our cave man days where your overall health and perhaps even intelligence was determined by how you look. Shiny hair, clear eyes, good teeth, not too thin, not too fat, etc. That instinct has been warped by our own insecurities and vanity. I once had a "friend" in college that actually said to my face that she liked to go to parties with me because I made her look skinnier.

[Synnen]

Funnily enough, I think barriers like that start disappearing with age.

Really.

I think people are less concerned about looks and money as you get older--because by the time you're 40, NO ONE looks like they did at 15. Money--well, depending on attitude and interests, people of all incomes can certainly be great friends. ESPECIALLY now that we're becoming more and more electronic in some of our friendships. For all I know, some of the people on this site are millionaires.

In any case, I'm friends with people that have the same interests as I do, not people the same size as me or in the same income bracket.

[SweetDee]

I think aging is a saving grace really for some women whom have had a difficult time negotiating friendships in their life time. At least for me.

I had never really be comfortable HAVING to participate w/ women whom gravitate toward me due to my looks. A lot of attractive women like to befriend other's of their sameness. For me I've always been attracted to females that are intelligent or humorous and have many commonalities.

The school that I volunteer at is very segregational. It's bizarre, really. They oddly discount you if you don't drive a certain class of car or wear a large enough diamond on your left hand, (for those that are single, you're "stones" must have some monetary significance), aside from your attractiveness, however if you're a "stone fox" that transcends it ALL... (lol!! )

Maybe it's just this crazy little town I live in... but imagine how silly this all is! And imagine this EXISTS, (I'm living this:eek:!! ).

[starbuck8]

Believe me SweetDee, it is not exclusive to where you live at all! I sorrily understood everything you said!

The one with the most toys wins right?! It doesn't seem to matter if you have brains, and you are a great person with humility. If you look good and have good "stuff" that is what the shallow people gravitate towards. The girls as well as the guys.

I was always told by men, that because I was pretty and had a nice body, that I was unaproachable, until they found out that I was just as nervous as they were in the awkward situations. I found I got more attention with my sense of humour, and the fact that I didn't judge people on their looks.

[SweetDee]

I'm so glad to hear someone say something similar to what I have/am going through. I had a couple of friends in college that were very beautiful and did very well using humor. I wasn't so good with humor back then, but now I'm pretty awesome, (age is a lovely gift... it sometimes comes with maturity and the confidence to use my God given humor.. lol!). I struggle still w/ people gravitating toward me for the wrong reason... and then I befriend them.. and then I end up regretting it. My closest friend always tells me to stick to my old group and not bother w/ anyone one else. So far she's right. I don't want her to be right, though.

It does make me feel better to know that it's not JUST my retarded town! LMAO...

[drewthompson]

Why are we all so obsessed w/ the way OTHER people look? If she's obese, can you be friends w/ her anyway and just get to know her FOR HER? If she's a stone fox can you go beyond her surface and get to know HER for her? Why is so difficult to be friends w/ people who are a little different?

Do all over weight people have to be ONLY friends w/ one another? Do all hotties have to? Can they not intermingle?

I'm suggesting that a hottie be best friends w/ a big girl, (:eek:). I am also suggesting that people imagine that beyond the surface there lives a personality that has feelings and emotions, opinions, intelligence, plus plus...

Why do we judge people by their exterior? I know it's insecurity... but why can't we all take the opportunity to get to know one another with out the fear and insecurity.

For that matter, while we're at it: Can the working class have friends who are wealthy and living in manshions, driving Bentley's? And visa verse?

I'm curious how you all might answer...

Always dress for the job or occasion. You can always reinvent yourself.

[starbuck8]

Always dress for the job or occasion. You can always reinvent yourself.

I don't understand what any of that had to do with the way you dress. :rolleyes:

[SweetDee]

:rolleyes: :p lollllllllll, me neither

[starbuck8]

:rolleyes: :p lollllllllll, me neither

Well I thought I might get some hot pants on today, and off to the supermarket I go! Oops... forgot to shave my legs! Do I have to shave my legs for this? :eek: :p

[SweetDee]

Lol!!

[SweetDee]

I don't think their called "hot pants" anymore. LMAO! It's called "short shorts", no?

starbuck8, you make me LAUGH...

Xoxoxoxo

[starbuck8]

I don't think their called "hot pants" anymore. LMAO! It's called "short shorts", no?

starbuck8, you make me LAUGH...

xoxoxoxo

Well I decided I wouldn't shave my legs for that, went the supermarket, and no guys even noticed my unshaven legs when I was squeezing the big ripe tomatoes, and checking them for firmness! LOL! ;) :p

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
SweetDee agrees: I'm in a retarded town in Montreal, Quebec. Doesn't get any worse, TRUST ME...[/QUOTE]



I have posted this before and will probably post this again - this whole "retarded" business, the flippant use of the word, is disrespectful and disheartening to anyone with a special needs person in the family.

Please don't use it.

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=Comments on this post - starbuck8 agrees: You're right Judy. I certainly didn't mean that to be offensive when I replied. I could have chosen a better word to describe what I meant. No offense was intended..[/QUOTE]



Thanks for the apology but you're not the one who posted it and I know you well enough to know you aren't going to use it in the future (I've never seen you use the word, in fact) so it's not even an apology in advance! :)

But I appreciate your comment.

[SweetDee]

Starbuck, I'll be leaving my house to go food shopping and I have no intention of shaving eitherrrrr!! You gave me "the power"!! And the confidence!

POWER TO THE UNSHAVEN LEG!

:( My luck everyone will noticeee... LMAO! Xo

[starbuck8]

I would like to proclaim the week starting Sept 8th world wide unshaven legs week! Do I hear a second motion ladies? :p

[Synnen]

Gee thanks.

I shaved mine last night.