[nikki1000]

YouTube - Too Ugly To Live - Part 1

[mimi888]

I posted this on a diff thread but I think it's more appropriate here

Skin lightening is such a touchy issue and not accepted by people which I think is a double standard because there are so many products out there to DARKEN people's skin. Just like weight loss products people go crazy to lose weight to even attain unhealthy body weight but it's unheard of for people in the western society to want to increase body weight. But I've heard middle eastern men PREFER big women.

In my opinion most of the academic/research happens in western countries and it's driven by the market.. ie. What white people want. White people want to tan their skin so companies research and come up with products that the western society want. I bet if there was more of a research interest and money spent towards products desired by other cultures they would have a good product out for skin-lightening today.

Well that was a lot of rambling sorry about that.

[barry101]

Personally, I like myself a lot better when I look pale. When I get sunburn, I feel dirty. I don't think there is anything wrong with preferring light skin. And no it is not "known that people look better with color." Some like light, some like dark.

[fjsmith81]

Personally, I like myself a lot better when I look pale. When I get sunburn, I feel dirty. I don't think there is anything wrong with prefering light skin. And no it is not "known that people look better with color." Some like light, some like dark.

That's the problem. Why do you feel dirty because you are dark? There is absolutely nothing wrong with preferring light skin, but there is something wrong when you think negatively of dark skin. I would never want to have light skin, but I don't go around saying that there is anything wrong with people that do have light skin.

[barry101]

My skin is naturally white. I have always had an aversion to dark skin. No I am not brainwashed by the media, I preferred light skin from as long as I can remember. So when my face gets a tan, or a burn, it grosses me out, especially since it doesn't match the rest of me.

[FarmersTan]

To DarkSkinGirl:
I'm a little late to this post, but I just joined the group. This whole post has made me very sad. I wish I had double majored in Chemistry along with Engineering, because it has now become my sincere wish to see a Safe and Effective skin lightening product developed.

There should NOT be any Taboo assigned to skin lightening. White women use fake tanners and our society doesn't bat an eye. No one scoffs at them - why? What about the middle aged white women who are sun damaged from years of sun bathing. They look old and leathery - In my opinion. Even with all the scientific evidence that it's dangerous, I still see young white women sun bathing all the time! Yet it's OK for them to want to be darker.

The OP will never understand your trials. She is light, the men in her world like her. Does she have a great personality? - I'm sure she does. Does she have confidence? - That goes without saying. But it's easy to have such confidence when finding a mate is as simple as walking out the door in the morning.

I have female black cousins that are in your shoes. Yes they have great personalities, and yes they are proud black women - but honestly they are hurting because the men in their world often pass them by whenever a lighter skinned woman enters the scene. I'm certianly not going to say that all black men want light women - that's just not true. But it does seem like the majority of them do. Especiallly this new generation. One of my male black cousins - won't date ANY black women.

So it's not just you and it's not all in your head. Oh and the door swings both ways, I'm a mixed race but I look white, well almost white;) And I've had my share of rejections from the females who only like "all-white" men or men with long straight hair. So I feel your struggle too. Let me know if you want to talk. God bless.

To Avvanstar:
I hope this sheds a little light as to why "Some" of us would like to be lighter. (Can't speak for all). Another thing you should do is ask a white person (that actively tans) - Why she tans. She'll probably say, "because it makes me feel more attractive." There's your answer.

[lighterrr]

Well said farmer, its all about the individual being comforteble in their own skin, and its not up to anyone to judge them

[fjsmith81]

Over and over again I am hearing in this post that when people give their explanations of wanting to be lighter skin it usually involves how someone else, or rather how they think that someone else perceives them. Is that really where people's self worth come from?? Farmers, I ask you why is your or anyone else's self worth determined by how easy it is to walk out the door and find a mate? You may not agree that that is what you are trying to say, but essentially that is what you are saying. Newsflash, the reason that black men are steering away from black women is not because of the hue of their skin tone. It's because of their personality, the way that they carry themselves, and they can smell the desperation they have to find a man. I tell you what, any woman that can not find a black man that is interested in dark women come and hang around me I will give you my left overs. Of course I am being facetious, but before anyone takes the narrowminded approach and just chalks everything up to their skin color they should really look at themselves and see what they actually have to offer to someone.

[lighterrr]

Fj its is well know that acceptance is a natural human desire, We all want to be accepted and rejection is often very difficult to deal with as human beings.

Having said that some people believe that being lighter will allow them to be accepted by society and others without great effort or difficulty. No, one sees the beauty inside when the first meet someone, so appearances does matter, and society has norm or what they consider to be attractive, the fact is that it is their and there is no need to hide our heads in the sand in denial, every society has an image they consider to be sexy. Attractive and we are essentially all products of the society we live in.
I have been whitening for some months now, I had to stop for now, but I will continue to whiten when the time is right again. I like being light skinned and I do know there are black men that prefer dark skinned woman I have dated a few, but lightening is a decision that I made for myself and me alone.

[Vicky_D]

fj its is well know that acceptance is a natural human desire, We all want to be accepted and rejection is often very difficult to deal with as human beings.

Having said that some people beleive that being lighter will allow them to be accepted by society and others without great effort or difficulty. No, one sees the beauty inside when the first meet someone, so appearances does matter, and society has norm or what they consider to be attractive, the fact is that it is their and their is no need to hide our heads in the sand in denial, every society has an image they consider to be sexy. attractive and we are essentially all products of the society we live in.
I have been whitening for some months now, i had to stop for now, but i will continue to whiten when the time is right again. I like being light skinned and i do know their are black men that prefer dark skinned woman i have dated a few, but lightening is a decision that i made for myself and me alone.

Preach lol.

[fjsmith81]

fj its is well know that acceptance is a natural human desire, We all want to be accepted and rejection is often very difficult to deal with as human beings.

Having said that some people beleive that being lighter will allow them to be accepted by society and others without great effort or difficulty. No, one sees the beauty inside when the first meet someone, so appearances does matter, and society has norm or what they consider to be attractive, the fact is that it is their and their is no need to hide our heads in the sand in denial, every society has an image they consider to be sexy. attractive and we are essentially all products of the society we live in.
I have been whitening for some months now, i had to stop for now, but i will continue to whiten when the time is right again. I like being light skinned and i do know their are black men that prefer dark skinned woman i have dated a few, but lightening is a decision that i made for myself and me alone.

Lighterrr, I hear you for most people in the world they want to be accepted, and rejection is quite hard to deal with, but that is where your level of self esteem comes in to play. If someone isn't interested in me I don't run the nearest drug store blaming the color of my skin for that. Yes, it is so unfortunate that society dictates how a person wants to look. But it is quite apparent that within just our society beauty is viewed at many different shades, body types, and so on. For instance, most people view Angelina Jolie as beautiful and at the same time view Halle Berry as beautiful. Beauty is not determined by the color of your skin. It is a culmination of traits, characteristics, and personality attirbutes. It is unfortunate that people keep perpetuating the cycle by saying that beauty is strictly governed by the color of your skin.

And if you like to be light skin because it's your personal preference then by all means go for it, but don't use the excuse that society's view on beauty is based strictly on having lighter skin. Moreover, it isn't such a good argument to say that other people are not attracted to you because of the color of your skin, because guess what, you will have a new portion of society that isn't attracted to you.

[lighterrr]

I know my dark skin is sexy, but I prefer to be lighter, thtats my preference and I don't believe that self esteem has anything to do with whitening
I don't believe that is the motive behind my lightening journey, the thing is that everyone has something on their body that they would like to change it just so happens for me its my skin color

[fjsmith81]

i know my dark skin is sexy, but i prefer to be lighter, thtats my preference and i dont beleive that self esteem has anything to do with whitening
i dont beleive that is the motive behind my lightening journey, the thing is that everyone has something on their body that they would like to change it just so happens for me its my skin color

I don't think that you fully read my response. So I am going to give it to you again briefly. I said if it is your personal preference then go for it. That means if it is something that makes you happy then by all means go for it. But if your reason for lightening your skin is because you think that men will be attracted to you, or you will be more aesthetically pleasing to society then you have self esteem issues and that goes for anything that you do. For example, women that dress sexy because it makes them feel good, do it for themselves, but a woman that dresses sexy just to attract a man has self esteem issues. You get it, for yourself=no self esteem issues, for others=self esteem issues.

[mimi888]

I don't think that you fully read my response. So I am going to give it to you again briefly. I said if it is your personal preference then go for it. That means if it is something that makes you happy then by all means go for it. But if your reason for lightening your skin is because you think that men will be attracted to you, or you will be more aesthetically pleasing to society then you have self esteem issues and that goes for anything that you do. For example, women that dress sexy because it makes them feel good, do it for themselves, but a woman that dresses sexy just to attract a man has self esteem issues. You get it, for yourself=no self esteem issues, for others=self esteem issues.

I agree with lighterr in answer to your question about why people would want to change their physical appearance based on how others perceive them in that it being probably just human nature.
Your question is however different I think from what the OP was asking which is why one would specifically would want lighter skin and I think that answer was already given by several posters as it being just a personal preference like wanting lose weight to feel more attractive etc.

[FarmersTan]

I just realized that the OP's question was already answered in the FAQ by PunkChic. PunkChic gives the absolute BEST answer there. See FAQ - "Why do people use skin lightening products?"

People who ask this question are usually not into skin lightening/brightening, they have no intention of using any skin brightening products, they sign up to ask just this one question and then disappear. (Not realizing this is a personal and emotional subject) the question creates a perfect storm of people arguing over the right and wrong reasons for doing it, or even if it should be done at all. Also, people (myself included) get emotional and say things that are best kept between themselves and their family/friends. Ultimately nothing constructive comes of it and the OP is long gone.

My advise in the future: If a person logs in and asks this/similar question, just refer them to PunkChic's FAQ answer and be done with it.

[Vicky_D]

Lighterrr, I hear you for most people in the world they want to be accepted, and rejection is quite hard to deal with, but that is where your level of self esteem comes in to play. If someone isn't interested in me I don't run the nearest drug store blaming the color of my skin for that. Yes, it is so unfortunate that society dictates how a person wants to look. But it is quite apparent that within just our society beauty is viewed at many different shades, body types, and so on. For instance, most people view Angelina Jolie as beautiful and at the same time view Halle Berry as beautiful. Beauty is not determined by the color of your skin. It is a culmination of traits, characteristics, and personality attirbutes. It is unfortunate that people keep perpetuating the cycle by saying that beauty is strictly governed by the color of your skin.

And if you like to be light skin because it's your personal preference then by all means go for it, but don't use the excuse that society's view on beauty is based strictly on having lighter skin. Moreover, it isn't such a good argument to say that other people are not attracted to you because of the color of your skin, because guess what, you will have a new portion of society that isn't attracted to you.

... But it just so happens to be true that women with fairer skin are seen as more attractive in cultures all over the world. So speaking of societal pressures is not an "excuse", it's just the truth. I'm sure many people would not want to lighten or darken their skin (or otherwise alter themselves) if they didn't feel some sort of pressure from society.

[fjsmith81]

...But it just so happens to be true that women with fairer skin are seen as more attractive in cultures all over the world. So speaking of societal pressures is not an "excuse", it's just the truth. I'm sure many people would not want to lighten or darken their skin (or otherwise alter themselves) if they didn't feel some sort of pressure from society.

Know your facts. In other countries darker skin is not view as a way of classifying attractiveness. It is a way of classifying social class. True in some parts of the world the darker your skin tone, the lower the class you belong to. They have this idea that if your skin is dark, then you must be a laborer, working in the sun all day. Let's not get me started about mixing the classes because it something that is perceived as a no no. But essentially, it has nothing to do with the way that beauty is perceived. In places like Italy which is closer to Africa they view dark skin as very beautiful. I think that most Americans try to use that as a crutch to justify their reasons for not being viewed as beautiful. I think attractiveness is a culmination of various attributes that the person has. And it is horrible for anyone to say that someone is unattractive because they have dark skin or vice versa.

[Ackja]

Know your facts. In other countries darker skin is not view as a way of classifying attractiveness. It is a way of classifying social class. True in some parts of the world the darker your skin tone, the lower the class you belong to. They have this idea that if your skin is dark, then you must be a laborer, working in the sun all day.

That is true, if you're living in the 19'th Century.

[barry101]

Deal with it. Some people are not attracted to dark skin. Period. Same way that some people don't like very pale skin. It is not horrible to not be attracted to a dark person.

[fjsmith81]

There's nothing to deal with Barr. Read the original post. No one is talking about whether it is wrong or not to like someone because of the color of their skin. People have personal preferences. That is what life is all about. Everyone is not going to be attractive to everyone.