Check out some similar questions!

hjpan · Nov 19, 2008, 01:45 PM

6 months past already.

I'm back now.

Not long.

redwee74 · Nov 25, 2008, 04:41 AM

Hey guys and gals been a while, but my nc don't work to well because of myself but some light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. This weekend had a date with a promising young lady. After the date ex contact, she must have radar or keep some sort of tabs on me but anyway she said come over so of course I did, nothing happened just talking but I was the reason. The milk was there if I wanted it. I noticed how everything she was talking about was her and how ever thing was everyone else's fault. I really became disgusted with her. I left after about a hour or two and felt really bad about even going to see her. But this is the first time I have seen her in a real light since the breakup and I believe that I may have passed the hump. Fingers crossed, any opinions about this would help. I just noticed how selfish she is and what a truly awful person she can be. Her life is sad and she is sad, I almost feel pity for her. Well God Bless and Good Luck to everyone.

BobbyVandeyar · Nov 30, 2008, 01:26 AM

I'm about to be on 3 dayz... I know its short. But it feels like hell. Because I told her how and I wanted to be with her. If you read my posts ull understand more. But yea 3 days. I just want an answer from her

BrewCrew0981 · Nov 30, 2008, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by BobbyVandeyar

im about to be on 3 dayz... i know its short. but it feels like hell. because i told her how and i wanted to be with her. if u read my posts ull understand more. but yea 3 days. i just want an answer from her

She's going to be on your mind a lot longer than 3 days, man. 12 weeks for me and I still think about her every day. Just have to let it go and move on. Nothing else you can go. It sucks to feel powerless over the situation, but the only thing you can go now is improve yourself.

Dare81 · Nov 30, 2008, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by BrewCrew0981

She's gunna be on your mind a lot longer than 3 days, man. 12 weeks for me and I still think about her every day. Just have to let it go and move on. Nothing else you can go. It sucks to feel powerless over the situation, but the only thing you can go now is improve yourself.

I agree with Big Crew, its been about 12 weeks for me too,and I still think about her everyday.It has though gotten a lot better.Keep at it.

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 30, 2008, 09:04 PM

Been 28 weeks and I still think about her everyday. Most of the pain is gone but every now and then it can hurt. You never really get over the person until your heart moves on... because until then all you have to associate with a relationship and loving someone is the heartache you suffered. It gets leaps and bound better though, I promise you that. I am definitely my old self again!

hjpan · Dec 1, 2008, 12:51 AM

I was in a small relationship with a friend whom left me because her mom does not approve of us dating. Well, she started talking to another guy and hooked up with him.

Instead of waiting for action, I deleted her of myspace, her moms' phone number, and her messages.

BrewCrew0981 · Dec 1, 2008, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

been 28 weeks and I still think about her everyday. Most of the pain is gone but every now and then it can hurt. You never really get over the person until your heart moves on.... because until then all you have to associate with a relationship and loving someone is the heartache you suffered. It gets leaps and bound better though, i promise you that. I am definitely my old self again!

I don't know why, but every time you post advice (which is typically great advice, btw), I'm reminded of the movie Swingers. Don't ask me why. Any guy who has been through, or is going through a breakup, needs to watch that movie.

redwee74 · Dec 2, 2008, 06:12 AM

Yeah I know it gets better but nc makes it go faster. I am getting better slowly but still have contact every now and then. I am doing it to myself and learning the hard way. It boils down to this, if they felt the way we do about them, our ex's would be with us. Good Luck and God Bless.

bigbird213 · Dec 2, 2008, 10:42 AM

Since I used this thread a lot in my breakup, I figure its only fair to contribute back.

I suppose my NC technically ended last night. My ex messaged me condolences about a death in my family, and I ended up talking to her for a while. This was about 7-8 months of no contact at all.

One heck of a weird feeling. We talked for about an hour and a half, caught up on what's been going on, and left it on a nice note. She told me that she was sure we'd talk again, and I said sure.

After thoughts: Thought about her more than normal today, but nothing negative. Didn't really miss her so much as just thought about us more than I had in the past. Im functioning just as well as I have been, and I'm not worried about the conversation. More of a "I wonder if/when she'll contact me again".

So did I fail? Who knows. After the NC that I had, in the last month or so, I finally felt like I was totally over it. Thought about her a lot, but never in a bad way. Never had down moments, nothing I heard about her would get to me, and anything that did bug me, did so for a second or two.

I wasn't my old self again, but I was a new self. I was finally content being single again.

Any thoughts from anyone who's been there - had contact after such a long time?

Molecular · Dec 2, 2008, 11:09 AM

I don't know Bigbird. NC ended for me a couple of days ago as well, think it had been going for 3 or 4 months, I'm not entirely sure.
My ex contacted me and needed help because her internet had shut down completely in the apartment she's living in. At first I was really hesitant and didn't want to go help her, mostly because when she broke up with me she kind of lost that privilege to ask for my help.

Either way she lives literally five minutes down the street and I didn't want to be a total bumhole so I agreed to go over there and help try to fix it, particularly since we're in the middle of our exam periods and being left without internet then can be frustrating to say the least. Furthermore I didn't really feel like I had any emotional attachment to her any longer. Ever since we broke up I've been keeping myself so busy and changed so much I've become terrified of changing back into the person I was back then, pushing everything aside for another human being.

Anyway a part of me really wanted to see her face again, not because I actually wanted to, but because I needed to see how I reacted to it. I hadn't seen or heard from her ever since we had broken up and with the two of us living so close to each other I was terrified that one day I'd run into her and have a complete breakdown again.

So yeah, I went over there to help fix it. Appearantly there had been like four people over before me trying to get it done and none of them could, so it was appearant she was rather desperate at the time (which wasn't much of a shocker, my ex was always very proud and I found it odd that she'd ask for my help). It was a little bit odd. We kind of spoke together like nothing had ever happened (and like those five years hadn't happened either), I fixed the internet, then I just left.

For me it was a massive relief anyway to know that I could talk to her and see her without being sad at all. I kind of felt like I actually had moved on, more so than I had thought myself.
Of course I still think about her and I'm not in a place where I would want to have a girlfriend again just yet, but I kind of felt like I got confirmation that I didn't want her back either. All in all it was good, but I felt like it was kind of a gamble. Going over there I had absolutely no idea how I would handle the situation, I'm just glad that this time, I could walk away with a little dignity. (Needless to say the last time we spoke, which was when she broke up with me, I was a pathetic mess).

bigbird213 · Dec 2, 2008, 06:14 PM

Sounds like you handled it well Molecular. You seem to be fine, so that's a plus. Granted, I didn't see her in person, just talked online, but it was still nice. We didn't act like nothing happened either, it was a little odd at first, but I'm generally pretty good and making people feel comfortable, so it wasn't awkward after the first few minutes. Just... more... surreal I guess...

Dare81 · Dec 2, 2008, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

Sounds like you handled it well Molecular. You seem to be fine, so thats a plus. Granted, I didn't see her in person, just talked online, but it was still nice. We didn't act like nothing happened either, it was a little odd at first, but I'm generally pretty good and making people feel comfortable, so it wasn't awkward after the first few minutes. Just... more... surreal i guess...

I have talked to my ex a couple of times on the phone too in the last couple of months .it was all business.After I talked to her I though about her a lot for a couple of days before the feeling subsided.

hungtoronto · Dec 8, 2008, 07:31 AM

Glad to hear that everyone is doing well. It've been over 4 months since me and my ex broke up and over 3 months of nc. I am sleeping better at night. I don't wake up in the middle of the night anymore. I still think about her but not constantly like before. When I think about her I still feel sad and pain but just for a short moment. I can't wait till that recovery date.

ISneezeFunny · Dec 9, 2008, 08:32 PM

Biggie:

I responded to the other thread, but I'll do it again here.

I don't think you've "failed." I feel that "breaking NC" is more along the lines of you wanting to talk to her because you just want to hear her voice, you miss her, etc. I don't think talking to your ex is a HORRIBLE idea, but I do believe that you should tread that line carefully.

I say this, because the holidays are coming up, and for some reason, girls love seeking boyfriends around this time (I suppose it's because they don't want to spend it alone). Instead of finding a new guy, they go back to what they know, what they're comfortable with, and what they find security in.

Example:

My ex just got "back" with her new "ex" (the guy after me)

I have also been dating 3 - 4 girls simultaneously (nothing serious... ), and THREE of them got back with their exes last week. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

hjpan · Dec 9, 2008, 09:23 PM

6-7 months...

4 months no contact

STILL SINGLE ;_____;
Why do guys have this idea "if your girl leaves you, sleep with others to get it over with or get a new one the next day?"

Yeh... it's been almost a year since I had sex too D:

I might die from Darwin's theory "Survival of the Fittest" ;___;

Molecular · Dec 9, 2008, 09:57 PM

I think that's a thing that varies from person to person Hjpan. Personally I've not been with anyone else since me and my ex broke it off.

Quite frankly, although I'm done being sad about it, I'm just not ready to move on. And personally I'd feel awful if I just "used" another woman for some slight sense of recovery. Granted it would give some probably much needed self-esteem telling me that I can meet and have relations with other women without my ex, because quite frankly after relationships as long as the ones most of us here are coming out of, that could sometimes be a much needed thing, but at the end of the day I'm proud of the way I handled my problems and moved on.

But I think it all varies from person to person how you want to take those steps to get over your last significant other, just letting you know you're not the only one who's not taking that approhach ;-;.

Dare81 · Dec 9, 2008, 11:35 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

Biggie:

I responded to the other thread, but I'll do it again here.

I don't think you've "failed." I feel that "breaking NC" is more along the lines of you wanting to talk to her because you just want to hear her voice, you miss her, etc. I don't think talking to your ex is a HORRIBLE idea, but I do believe that you should tread that line carefully.

I say this, because the holidays are coming up, and for some reason, girls love seeking boyfriends around this time (I suppose it's because they don't want to spend it alone). Instead of finding a new guy, they go back to what they know, what they're comfortable with, and what they find security in.

Example:

My ex just got "back" with her new "ex" (the guy after me)

I have also been dating 3 - 4 girls simultaneously (nothing serious...), and THREE of them got back with their exes last week. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

Have not heard from my ex.Thank God for that.Dont need that drama in my life.
Hope everyone else is doing okay.
Happy eid .

hjpan · Dec 10, 2008, 10:45 PM

Originally Posted by Molecular

I think that's a thing that varies from person to person Hjpan. Personally I've not been with anyone else since me and my ex broke it off.

Quite frankly, although i'm done being sad about it, I'm just not ready to move on. And personally I'd feel awful if I just "used" another woman for some slight sense of recovery. Granted it would give some probably much needed self-esteem telling me that I can meet and have relations with other women without my ex, because quite frankly after relationships as long as the ones most of us here are coming out of, that could sometimes be a much needed thing, but at the end of the day I'm proud of the way I handled my problems and moved on.

But I think it all varies from person to person how you want to take those steps to get over your last significant other, just letting you know you're not the only one who's not taking that approhach ;-;.

I understand the concept....
I also don't really want to "use" another woman... an one night stand...

ISneezeFunny · Dec 11, 2008, 08:05 PM

The problem you're facing hj, may be that you're just not going out enough? Are you actually ready to move on?

I mean, I never "used" any girls to get over my ex (that's a lie... I lied. I used many... many women to get over my ex... and I DO feel bad about it... sorta).

Granted, now, if I have a one night stand (or one that lasts two/three weeks until she brings up the "what are we" talk), I don't use that to get over my ex... that's just simply all for me.

Four months after a breakup, especially your breakup (I've read your posts from the beginning), may not be long enough... probably at around 6 months or so, you'll feel ready to go out and have a little fun.