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redwee74 · Oct 27, 2008, 04:52 PM

Thanks Dare, I will. I just seen her and wow was that hard. Well it was yesterday and all I think about is her now. This really ain't cool. How could I let someone have that much control over me? This place helps a lot but sometimes I need a little push to keep going and not sit around and dwell on her. Just an update and everyone Good Luck and God Bless.

NorthernNiceGuy · Oct 28, 2008, 12:14 PM

Over thanksgiving when my ex came home she showed up at my house unexpectedly as I have blocked her from all form of contact with me. Should have seen my face when I saw her at the door. We talked for about an hour... and wasn't that bad for me. I got a lot of answers and got a lot of things out that I wanted to. She really wasn't on that pedestal anymore, and I was actually really surprised at how different she looked to me through clearer eyes. She told me that when I move down south we should date again... And I'll tell you, I felt incredibly empowered when I looked her in the eyes and said no, that will never happen again, you had your chance and I can never trust you again...

It made her pretty upset... and maybe came off a bit mean, but oh well. She put me through hell... That was probably the last time I will hear or see her in a long time so it was nice to get that off my chest.

I just hit the half year mark for my break up a few days ago, I am doing very very good but am still not there yet. It made me realize how much time is really necessary to get over a long term relationship. For all you guys that are at the 1 or 2 month mark, don't kid yourselves by saying you are over it, just accept that you're not and that its going to take a long time. Trust me, one day you will be over it and all those feelings you had for your ex will be washed away. I'm at 6 months and I'm still not, but getting closer with every passing week. We'll get there, everybody goes through this... Keep those heads up!

jumpin0503 · Oct 28, 2008, 12:22 PM

I don't even know what day it is of NC for me overall, but something just snapped today, I don't know what it was. I want my heart, my life, everything, I just want it back. If she doesn't want it then why do I keep giving it to her, I'm taking my life back for me. I'm sick of it, I want to be happy again without her.

Just one of those days where something finally clicks.

bigbird213 · Oct 28, 2008, 06:03 PM

NNG,

Nice to hear that you handled it well. It must have been a nice gauge of how you have been handling it since it happened. I believe I have just passed my 6 month mark as well (I don't know the exact date anymore).

Glad to hear your doing well, keep it up man!

Dare81 · Oct 28, 2008, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

Over thanksgiving when my ex came home she showed up at my house unexpectedly as I have blocked her from all form of contact with me. Should have seen my face when i saw her at the door. We talked for about an hour... and wasn't that bad for me. I got a lot of answers and got a lot of things out that I wanted to. She really wasn't on that pedestal anymore, and I was actually really surprised at how different she looked to me through clearer eyes. She told me that when I move down south we should date again... And I'll tell you, I felt incredibly empowered when I looked her in the eyes and said no, that will never happen again, you had your chance and I can never trust you again....

It made her pretty upset... and maybe came off a bit mean, but oh well. She put me through hell... That was probably the last time I will hear or see her in a long time so it was nice to get that off my chest.

I just hit the half year mark for my break up a few days ago, I am doing very very good but am still not there yet. It made me realize how much time is really necessary to get over a long term relationship. For all you guys that are at the 1 or 2 month mark, don't kid yourselves by saying you are over it, just accept that you're not and that its going to take a long time. Trust me, one day you will be over it and all those feelings you had for your ex will be washed away. I'm at 6 months and I'm still not, but getting closer with every passing week. We'll get there, everybody goes through this... Keep those heads up!

Good to see that you are doing great man.Nice pic too.

DazT · Oct 29, 2008, 05:57 AM

I'm back in N/C! Welcome me back guys, lol.

Dare81 · Oct 30, 2008, 11:26 AM

Welcome back Dazt.

Update on my situtaion, its been almost 6 week since our break up, and almost 3 since I talked to her, but for the last couple of days I have been felling really depressed and misreable.Probally because I have some other family issues going on, I wish I could call her and talk to her.

BrewCrew0981 · Nov 2, 2008, 03:13 PM

Now done with 8 weeks. 2/3rds of the way to my 90 days!

Molecular · Nov 3, 2008, 10:10 PM

Been a solid five weeks of NC for me now (I think?) but it's rather hard to know as I haven't really been counting. At first I was reluctant to believe the whole: "One month for every year of relationship" thing but now I think that's actually true. Granted I'm not feeling nearly as down as I used to, I still have my ups and downs.

My biggest problem I think is that I still spend too much thinking about her. Even though I'm dead certain that I don't want her back, I for some reason spend so much time being angry with her. Keeping NC on the other hand isn't really that much of a problem. I'm actually more afraid that I'll bump into her one day because if I do, it probably won't be pretty.

Boristheblade · Nov 4, 2008, 04:31 PM

I haven't posted for awhile, I think its because I reached the point where no words could help me and it was just a matter of time. I still love and miss my ex, it was 5 months since we broke up 2 days ago. It's my birthday today, he messaged me to say happy birthday though we have no contact. It hasn't been as bad as I envisaged it couldve been without him though. Maybe things are finally starting to get better

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 5, 2008, 11:55 AM

It's unfortunate but I think the NC calender is slowly dying. It's been removed as a sticky and seems to be dwindling... which might be a good thing. Could mean we are all moving on?

Dare81 · Nov 5, 2008, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

It's unfortunate but i think the NC calender is slowly dying. It's been removed as a sticky and seems to be dwindling... which might be a good thing. could mean we are all moving on??

I was going to say the same thing.Even though this website has been really help full, part of moving on involves moving on from this website too.

Dare81 · Nov 5, 2008, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by Molecular

Been a solid five weeks of NC for me now (I think?) but it's rather hard to know as I haven't really been counting. At first I was reluctant to believe the whole: "One month for every year of relationship" thing but now I think that's actually true. Granted I'm not feeling nearly as down as I used to, I still have my ups and downs.

My biggest problem I think is that I still spend too much thinking about her. Even though I'm dead certain that I don't want her back, I for some reason spend so much time being angry with her. Keeping NC on the other hand isn't really that much of a problem. I'm actually more afraid that i'll bump into her one day because if I do, it probably won't be pretty.

I am really not sure about one month for every year of a relationship, I think it depends on how intense your relationship was and how much you were involved in it

Molecular · Nov 5, 2008, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

It's unfortunate but i think the NC calender is slowly dying. It's been removed as a sticky and seems to be dwindling... which might be a good thing. could mean we are all moving on??

Even though all of us right now are moving on, I can't help but think that there's naturally going to be others who will need this calendar days in the future. I say keep it a sticky to be fair, it helped me a lot back when I was still hurting at the most, and there's still many people who are likely to be needing similar help in the future. It's been a quiet period though, I agree.

BrewCrew0981 · Nov 5, 2008, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by Dare81

I am really not sure about one month for every year of a relationship, i think it depends on how intense your relationship was and how much you were involved in it

I really don't think that one month rule holds much water. I was with my GF for just about 7 years, and we've been broken up for over 3. I highly doubt I'll be anywhere near over her in less than 4 months. I still think about and miss her constantly now.

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 5, 2008, 07:05 PM

Agreed, mine was four years and I am 6 months in, doing very well but not over it. Rules like that don't hold much merit, every individual reacts and recovers differently. But we'll all get over it eventually, you can count on that.

hungtoronto · Nov 10, 2008, 04:28 AM

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

agreed, mine was four years and I am 6 months in, doing very well but not over it. Rules like that don't hold much merit, every individual reacts and recovers differently. But we'll all get over it eventually, you can count on that.

I was with my ex for a year and 1/2. It've been 4 months since we broke up but I can't say I am over her. Of all my ex, this one I would say was the toughest to move on from. I was living with her the whole time so I guess there are a lot of memories that I am still holding onto. But I can say I feel a lot better now than 4 months ago.

Boristheblade · Nov 13, 2008, 01:52 PM

Just to clarify- I am a girl lol. My ex boyfriend has started talking to me again, I feel fine with it, but I'm not sure if it could have negative consequences in the future?

NorthernNiceGuy · Nov 13, 2008, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

Just to clarify- i am a girl lol. My ex bf has started talking to me again, I feel fine with it, but I'm not sure if it could have negative consequences in the future?

If you think there will be then you're not totally over it. I'm not going to talk to mine until I can safely say I don't care for her at all. (by then I don't even see why I would care to talk to her)

What I want to know is what purpose do you see in talking to him? If you feel like it could be detrimental to you at all either now or in the future than why risk it. You've come so far, you don't need to take any steps back.

Boristheblade · Nov 13, 2008, 02:03 PM

We broke up five months ago and the break up was messy and awful, all kind of things happened and I found out lots of awful things. But basically because of that he gave me an epic apology which I knew he would eventually-because I know him better than he knows himself, and we just kept talking casually online from then-that's all it is. In a way talking to him is making me feel a bit better because the anger is lessening due to me demonising him less.